A/N okay, so this is a companion fic to "In Your Embrace." What if Kendall had gone after James that night and found him at the bar? Major angst, some fluff, major Kames :D
The streets of Hollywood were known for being bustling, busy, overcrowded with people dressed like carbon copies. Kendall had once seen four girls, all walking together, their arms linked, all wearing the same dress, the same heels and, unbelievably, the same hoop earrings. It was one of the things he couldn't stand about this town – ninety percent of the people who lived here were fake and were arrogant, squawking about their ability with no evidence of talent to back it up with.
They were also known for being safe, even at night, with the exception of the dark back alleys. No person fearing their safety or status would dare take a back alley, and that had been one of the first things that Gustavo and Kelly had warned them about.
Criminals in Hollywood didn't care about your status. In fact, the higher your status and standing in the world of fame and fortune, the more likely you were to be a target.
That was why Kendall was here in the first place.
James was missing.
James had been missing for the last thirty hours. At first Kendall had been hurt, what with it being their anniversary, but when James hadn't come home the fear had settled in, closely followed by panic and a need to do something, to go find his absent boyfriend.
Calling James' cell phone turned out to be a bust, going straight to the voicemail, and that had been when something inside Kendall had become cold and barren like a lake in Minnesota. James was gone, not answering his phone, not having left a note or letting anyone know where he was.
And so here Kendall was. Wandering seedy streets and getting pulled up every now and then by the curious and horny hookers of L.A. He politely refused every time, and he could hear them muttering insults about anybody who would turn them down. Kendall suspected they overcharged for their business, but that was just an assumption.
Sex sold here in L.A, and sex symbols even more so. There wasn't a place to turn without seeing the face of a famous person on the skyscrapers.
Yes, Kendall hated this part of L.A and a part of him resented James for being gone so long and forcing him to come down here. All that aside, Kendall was freaking out in epic proportions. People gave him concerned looks and he wondered if the fear showed on his face.
"Pretty boy…"
It was the snatch of conversation that would lead Kendall to learn things he hadn't wanted to ever learn. Something made him stop when he heard those two words, that weren't directed at him but mentioned as a throwaway comment as he passed. He stopped and pretended to tie his shoe.
"How pretty?"
"Amazing. Looks like a god. Sandy hair, big honey eyes and a figure to die for. Practically screams defenseless. Wes has him in the bar."
"Down fifth?"
"No, the one across the street. He said to wait for him."
Kendall looked across the street, seeing the bar. He made a beeline for it and entered. It was even more sexualized than the streets of the downtown district, with women gyrating on poles and pulling off their clothes slowly as men handed them the money, middle aged men with more drool than brain cells, Kendall thought. He looked around but he didn't see James anywhere, and he was about to leave when someone tapped him.
He turned to the woman, ready to brush off her offer, but he found it to be a waitress. She was chewing gum and smiled at him.
"Hey, honey! You lookin' for your friend?"
"My friend?"
"The cutie with the sandy hair, babe."
"How'd you know?" He faked a smile.
"Ah, all you boys look alike, all innocent and trustin'. He's in the bathroom, honey, he didn't look so great. Probably had a bit much to drink, I'd say. You'd better get him off the booze, he's too young to be wasting that pretty face in the dark back alleys of Hollywood."
"Right, thanks."
"Sure, babe."
Kendall almost flew to the bathroom, knocking people out of the way as he went, desperate to get to James and see what was wrong with him. He didn't understand why James was here in the first place but something must have been wrong for him to resort to drinking.
The bathroom was dimly lit, and only one stall was occupied, pushed shut but not latched. He heard the person inside retching and felt his own gauge rise at the sound (Kendall had always been a sympathetic puker). He moved forward and pushed the door open.
James was kneeling on the tiles which, considered their uneven, bumpy state, looked painful, and had one arm braced over his stomach, the other on the edge of the toilet bowl. His hair was obscuring his eyes and Kendall could see that he was still gagging, but it appeared there was nothing else for James to bring up.
"James," he whispered, sinking to his knees and rubbing his boyfriend's back. James leaned into him, shivering almost anxiously, like he wanted to start talking and explain and apologise and couldn't quite get the air to do so. It frightened Kendall, the way James slumped into his embrace like he couldn't possibly support his own weight any longer.
They sat for a few moment, and slowly, James lessened the weight on his knees, sitting down on his calves. He choked a bit and Kendall rubbed his back, smoothing his hair out of the way and holding it as James dry heaved a few more times.
Then there was silence.
James let out a cough, and he lifted his head a little. "Hi, Kendall," he croaked.
"What happened to you?"
"Um… I don't remember." James' voice was small and lost in the stall, and Kendall had only just opened his mouth to say more when the stall door was pushed open again. Kendall looked up to find a fifty-something man leaning over them.
"Oh, hello," he said with a smile. "I just thought that I'd see if James here was alright."
Kendall eyed the man warily. "He's fine. I'll look after him."
"Do either of you need a lift anywhere?" the man persisted.
"No," Kendall said shortly. "Thanks for the offer, though."
The man looked at them, then stood and left. James shivered.
"We should get you out of here," Kendall said softly, beginning to lift James. He flushed the toilet without looking and James stood shakily beside him, but made no move to exit the bathroom. Kendall put his arm around James' shoulders and led him out, concerned that James seemed unable to move of his own accord.
"Come on. It isn't far."
James trembled in his grasp, and Kendall wondered what had happened.
"What happened, James?"
Logan sat down on the couch, handing James a mug of hot chocolate to try and warm him. Somewhere along the line James had lost his jacket and Kendall could feel how cold he was just by touching James' biceps.
"I don't really remember," James mumbled. "I only had a few sips of wine. Then I got sick."
"You were drinking wine?" Logan demanded. "What for?"
James said nothing, staring into his mug like it was going to solve his problems. Kendall stared at him, rubbing his back, trying to ease some of the tremendous burden that seemed to be weighing his boyfriend down.
He knew what that man had wanted with James, his James. He wanted the same thing Kendall wanted – to be James' first. Only this man clearly wasn't willing to obtain consent. This man had tried to pick up James, probably would have succeeded if Kendall hadn't overhead those snippets of conversation.
It made him think that maybe there was a god. Somewhere. And that that God was watching out over himself, watching out over James, preventing harm from coming to either of them.
Still no reply from James, whose hands had begun to shake. Kendall wanted to put his own hands around them but he was busy, rubbing James' back with one hand and stroking his hair with the other. He thought that James might cry.
"James!"
Logan's voice, while not loud, carried a frustrated and angry undertone to it. James jumped and dropped the mug, clenching his fists together and putting them on his knees. Kendall could see the trembling of James' lips, the tears barely clinging to his eyelashes.
"Did you have to yell?" he snapped at Logan.
"I didn't yell!"
"He's having a tough time, okay? Just be nicer to him." Kendall picked up the mug and Logan went to find a cloth, evidently intending on mopping up the mess. Once he was gone, James turned to Kendall and sank into his arms, shuddering violently. James' body felt too warm against him, like he was burning up.
Logan was back and he barely spared either of them a glance as he cleaned up the cup of tea. James didn't look at him, paid attention only to Kendall holding him. His head felt fuzzy and full of sand or dirt, and his body felt like it was going to shake into a million pieces.
"Logan, I think something's wrong," Kendall said, unwilling to talk but knowing Logan was the only one who might know what was wrong.
"Well obviously," Logan said. "He was drinking, Kendall."
"He said he only had a few sips."
"And you believe him?"
"Do you want to be a doctor?"
Logan grumbled but moved closer, touching a hand to James' forehead. He was stunned to feel the heat rising off his best friend's face. "He's got a fever," he said to Kendall. "He should go to bed."
"Right," Kendall said.
Something in the balance of their relationship had shifted.
And they weren't going to talk about that either.
James spent the night crying into his pillow, mostly asleep, suffering from nightmares where, from what Kendall could surmise, many a man chased him and cornered him in a bathroom and proceeded to do terrible things to him.
He tried to hold James. Tried to keep him safe.
It didn't work.
James awoke the next morning looking tired, stressed and decidedly pale. It was a Saturday and they didn't have to be in at the studio, so Kendall let James sleep until ten. He woke him up for breakfast and kissed his forehead gently.
"Logan's angry with me," James whispered. "I can tell."
"He's not…"
"Kendall, I can tell. He won't even look at me. Him and Carlos haven't been the same around us since we started dating. Do you think they're just saying they accept it?"
"I think they're confused," Kendall said firmly. "And Logan isn't angry with you, James. He just isn't sure of what happened last night."
"Last night?" James looked at him blankly.
"Yeah. When you wouldn't tell us what happened."
"What happened when?"
Kendall stared at James, who looked honestly confused.
"What happened when you were gone," he persisted, convinced James was playing a joke. "When you went missing for our anniversary."
"When?"
Kendall's heart went weak with fear. "What day is it?"
"Friday," James said. "Why?"
"You know me. I always forget the date."
James nodded and went back to his breakfast. Kendall hightailed it to his bedroom and locked the door, pulling out his phone and dialing Logan's number. Again, the last thing he wanted to do was get Logan even more involved, but this was serious.
James had lost a whole day and a half and wasn't any the wiser. James had lost a whole day and a half and appeared to be too confused to realise that they only days they got off from recording were Saturdays and Sundays.
"Logan speaking."
"Logan, James doesn't remember anything!"
"It was GHB," Logan said, sliding his phone shut.
"What's that?"
"A popular date rape drug," Logan said softly. "It's an amnesiac. People who are allergic to it can experiences hallucinations, which would explain the nightmares last night, and might present with a low grade fever. Whoever was trying to get at James was definitely intending to rape him, Kendall, and they didn't want him to remember what had happened. That's why he was so confused yesterday. He would have still been under the effects of the drugs."
"He doesn't even remember being at the bar, Logan!"
"He will eventually. Memories return gradually."
"What do we do till then?"
"We just wait. See if we can get him through this."
"We can do it."
"I hope you're right."
Precious your fragile face
Need special handling
My god what have we done to you?
Now look what we have put you through.
A/N OH THE ANGST! :D okay, so I didn't really think i had to go through the whole wesley doyle thing all over again because you guys have read In Your Embrace. this is just a what if - what if Kendall had found james before anything bad could happen? it's just a oneshot. :)
next chapter of Boom should be up late tonight or tomorrow :)