Conversation with Severus Snape, Rickmaniac and Gumlick
Rickmaniac; Hello and welcome to The Rickmaniac Chat on Nickelodeon. Mr Snape. May I call you Sevvie?
Snape; No.
Rickmaniac; Very Well, Sevvie. What was it like being in the Harry Potter Movie?
Snape; Mo-vie?
Gumlick; As I'm sure it must have been. What is your opinion on Hermione setting your cloak on fire?
Snape; sits up It was her? Dirty little rat-brained monkey scrotum!
Rickmaniacs look at each other.
Willowhawk; What do you think of the fact that you look uncannily like the 'Dogma' actor Alan Rickman?
Snape; Who?
Willowhawk; prompting A-lan Rick-man. You seem to be a pretty intelligent bloke, Sev, those words should be in your vocabulary. They are the two most used, most important words in the English Language.
Snape; Do I look like him then?
Gumlick; There is an eerie resemblance, yes.
Snape; Is he fit?
Gumlick; Well, Dur!
Snape; Are you insulting me?
Gumlick; silence
Rickmaniac silence
Willowhawk silence
Rickmaniac; Um, No.
Gumlick; Not at all.
Willowhawk; Wouldn't dream of it. What is…er….your opinion in the war in Austrailia?
Snape; What war in Australia?
Gumlick; Never mind. Do you wear boxers or briefs?
Snape; Excuse me?
Rickmaniac; Bo-xers or…
Snape; Yes, yes, I know. Why do you need to know that?
Gumlick; Because we are dangerously perverted.
Snape; I beg your pardon?
Willowhawk; Look, are you going to tell us or do we have to find out for ourselves?
Snape; hurriedly Boxers
Rickmaniac; With little pink hearts on?
Snape; What??!!
Gumlick; Do they have little pink hearts on?
Snape; miserably Do you really need to humiliate me any more?
Willowhawk; Darling, everyone goes through this. You did have a choice of coming on the show.
Snape; No I bloody well didn't! Not after you kidnapped me and shoved me in that bag and then in the truck and…..
Rickmaniac; Ahem.
Gumlick; So they have pretty pink hearts on then?
Snape; Yes. pause No! I'm leaving! I can't stand to be humiliated any more!
Gumlick; The doors are locked, Sevvie.
Snape; You puny mortals! You have had this all planned out, but you have missed one tiny detail which will ruin you and your plan. And do you know what that is? looks menacing I am a wizard! I will blast the door!
Willowhawk; And how does that make you feel?
Snape; I'm secretly a woman*.pause. confused expression Shite, did I just say that?
Gumlick; 'fraid so.
Snape; clears throat AND I WILL BLAST THE DOOR! tries to get out wand, however unsuccessfully. Pats pockets, then turns to Rickmaniac, who is standing beside him.
Rickmaniac; Looking for this?
Snape; Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! dies
Gumlick; We didn't mean for you to do that to him!
Willowhawk; You IDIOT!
Rickmaniac; Whoopsie. runs away as Gumlick and Rickmaniac charge after her
*A bit of an in-joke. For those who live in England and watched Alistair McGowen's Big Impression that time.
Rickmaniac; Hello and welcome to The Rickmaniac Chat on Nickelodeon. Mr Snape. May I call you Sevvie?
Snape; No.
Rickmaniac; Very Well, Sevvie. What was it like being in the Harry Potter Movie?
Snape; Mo-vie?
Gumlick; As I'm sure it must have been. What is your opinion on Hermione setting your cloak on fire?
Snape; sits up It was her? Dirty little rat-brained monkey scrotum!
Rickmaniacs look at each other.
Willowhawk; What do you think of the fact that you look uncannily like the 'Dogma' actor Alan Rickman?
Snape; Who?
Willowhawk; prompting A-lan Rick-man. You seem to be a pretty intelligent bloke, Sev, those words should be in your vocabulary. They are the two most used, most important words in the English Language.
Snape; Do I look like him then?
Gumlick; There is an eerie resemblance, yes.
Snape; Is he fit?
Gumlick; Well, Dur!
Snape; Are you insulting me?
Gumlick; silence
Rickmaniac silence
Willowhawk silence
Rickmaniac; Um, No.
Gumlick; Not at all.
Willowhawk; Wouldn't dream of it. What is…er….your opinion in the war in Austrailia?
Snape; What war in Australia?
Gumlick; Never mind. Do you wear boxers or briefs?
Snape; Excuse me?
Rickmaniac; Bo-xers or…
Snape; Yes, yes, I know. Why do you need to know that?
Gumlick; Because we are dangerously perverted.
Snape; I beg your pardon?
Willowhawk; Look, are you going to tell us or do we have to find out for ourselves?
Snape; hurriedly Boxers
Rickmaniac; With little pink hearts on?
Snape; What??!!
Gumlick; Do they have little pink hearts on?
Snape; miserably Do you really need to humiliate me any more?
Willowhawk; Darling, everyone goes through this. You did have a choice of coming on the show.
Snape; No I bloody well didn't! Not after you kidnapped me and shoved me in that bag and then in the truck and…..
Rickmaniac; Ahem.
Gumlick; So they have pretty pink hearts on then?
Snape; Yes. pause No! I'm leaving! I can't stand to be humiliated any more!
Gumlick; The doors are locked, Sevvie.
Snape; You puny mortals! You have had this all planned out, but you have missed one tiny detail which will ruin you and your plan. And do you know what that is? looks menacing I am a wizard! I will blast the door!
Willowhawk; And how does that make you feel?
Snape; I'm secretly a woman*.pause. confused expression Shite, did I just say that?
Gumlick; 'fraid so.
Snape; clears throat AND I WILL BLAST THE DOOR! tries to get out wand, however unsuccessfully. Pats pockets, then turns to Rickmaniac, who is standing beside him.
Rickmaniac; Looking for this?
Snape; Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! dies
Gumlick; We didn't mean for you to do that to him!
Willowhawk; You IDIOT!
Rickmaniac; Whoopsie. runs away as Gumlick and Rickmaniac charge after her
*A bit of an in-joke. For those who live in England and watched Alistair McGowen's Big Impression that time.