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Title: Into the Abyss
Summary: Hitomi comes back home to Earth a little too late. The present reality of her home shocks her and causes her to escape from reality, finding something not so good to preoccupy her. Will anyone be able to help her from her depression?
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne. So no suing please! No infringement intended! Just borrowing the lovely characters of Escaflowne. This story, however, is mine. Oh and the short sayings. :) Bwaha. As for the songs, they are owned by their respective singers.
Etcetera: hey there, hope you like the fic! Any idea who's gonna get her out of this mess? hmmm.... :) Anyway, this is angsty but i promise it's gonna have a good ending! Please review! ESCAFLOWNE rules!!!! OUR LADY PEACE rules too! (That's my favorite band!) ^_^ emails welcome at sab_shob@yahoo.com. Please I don't really like very violent flames. o_0 Visit my site at animeholics.envy.nu
Important Note: THINGS INSIDE [ ] are THOUGHTS.
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PROLOGUE: The rain will take everything away...
My happiness, my love, my dreams...
All draining into the sewer of my despair.
- by SabrinaYutsuki (the author of this fic)
Hitomi's POV:
Home... I had wanted to go home for such a long time. That longing I had in me turned my stomach inside out. Just taking in a familiar scent of Earth sent chills up my spine. Chills of homesickness...
Now I'm home. Now I can see my family again. My friends. My school.
And yet... Somehow, I'm not that happy. The desire... the homesick feeling... betrayed me. Now, like a fickle lady, they were replaced by thoughts of regret... Regret for leaving Van, the only man that has made me feel so much love... and warmth. I stared at the beam of light that brought me home, oblivious to the fact that it had disappeard hours ago. Somehow, in the distance, I took in the smell of the field. The smell of Van. Yet, there was no greenery anywhere. It was all concrete... It was the city after all. My imagination was torturing me. It wasn't fair... It wasn't fair. And like the wave of sad emotions, the rain poured down.
Damn this rain. This rain is anguish for me.
Narrator's POV:
Hitomi ran, her uniform soaked by the sudden heavy rain. Her thoughts raced in her mind. [I'm going home. I'm going to see my father and my mother... and even my pest of a brother. That's something to look forward to. I've missed them a lot. And now I'm actually going to see them... Gaea can wait. It's not as though I can't come back... Gaea can wait]. Now, she was feeling more sure of herself, her cheerful personality coming back to her.
Soon enough, she was at the front of her door. Anxiety filled her being. It was a long time she was away. Did they look any different? Her mother would probably have tears of joy brimming in her eyes. Her brother would have a sarcastic remark up his sleeve and her dad would give her a big pat on the back.
Her finger shivered a little as she reached for the doorbell. She was cold... and in some way, scared. She felt like a lost puppy hoping to be taken home again. The door opened, she smiled, but the grin was immediately washed by the reality that her eyes were giving her. "M... mom? Is that... y-you?"
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Mrs. Kanzaki was in the worst state Hitomi could ever imagine. Her emerald eyes were dead. One hand held a lit cigarette, the other held a bottle of gin. Her hair was in a mess. Her mother stared at her, as though she didn't recognize her. She stood silent.
Again, Hitomi spoke, uncertainty clearly blended into her tone. "M-mom. It's me. Hitomi."
"Hitomi? Hitomi Kanzaki?", she spoke with such formality.
"Y..yah, mom. I'm back."
"Where were you all this time? Do you realize how much trouble you've caused?", her mother's eyebrows were arched up. There was no warmth in her speech. Hitomi shivered, feeling colder than before.
"I'm sorry. I..."
"A sorry's not good enough."
"M..mom? Can I... come in? Let's talk."
Her mother nodded, opened the door further, and revealed the interior of the home.
It was not good. Empty bottles were scattered over the floor. The television was on, but it was very blurry. Boxes of half-eaten pizza were on the tables. And the kitchen floor was muddy. It was never dirty before. Her mother was always very neat. She kept the house very clean. But then, things have changed. Hitomi felt her second blast of shock when she saw her father sprawled on the floor, bottles all around him.
"Dad! Dad!", Hitomi reached him and started waking him up, panic rising. He opened his eyes, let out a big disgusting burp, and bitterly laughed, the intense smell of alcohol in his breath. "Ha ha! You can't fool me! You're not my little girl... You're just one of those goddamn dreams I've been having and..."
At this point, it was all clear to Hitomi. She had been the cause of all this. She was gone too long. He missed his 'little girl' -- her little Hitomi. Guilt was clearly etched in her face, now wet with streaming tears. [God, I am probably the most selfish girl. A minute ago, I didn't really want to go home. How could I have not thought of what it was doing to my family?] "This wreck... this mess, it's all my fault. It's... oh, God I'm sorry.... I... I." Suddenly, her father was shivering... uncontrollably. "Mom! Mom! Something's happening to Dad... Help!" Her mother walked slowly to the lying body, a hint of nonchalance in her movements. "It's probably your dad wanting to barf again. He really can't take in his alcohol and..."
Mrs. Kanzaki held his neck. No pulse. He was cold. Now, she was worried. Now, a hint of sanity and awareness played in her eyes. "Oh no... no. No... NO!!!" Hitomi didn't like the sounds of that. She held him, felt a pulse in his wrist. Nothing. She applied CPR. She held her two palms on his chest and started to apply pressure with the rhythm and beat of her heart. Nothing. [No. No. This has to work. This has to...]
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! WHY?! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU WANT TO TORMENT HIM?! WHY COME BACK NOW? WHY?!" Her mother was clearly hysterical. Hitomi couldn't blame her. "Mom, I'm sorry." "STOP APOLOGIZING! IT'S NOT MAKING ANYTHING BETTER! WHERE WERE YOU ALL THIS TIME? WHERE?" "Mo-mom, I could exp-plain.", Hitomi was clearly in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. "DON'T BE SO PATHETIC. NOW YOU'RE CRYING? NOW YOU'RE CONCERNED? YOU... BITCH!" At this point, her mother's palm connected at her cheek, immediately causing it to go red. Hitomi felt the hit with her palm. It was painful... physically, but more so emotionally. It assured her that this was all real. That it wasn't some nightmare. That she wasn't going to wake up to the beautiful sound of the birds and see the bright sun shining over her sandy brown hair.
Her mother was still in a rage. She wiped the tears threatening to spill, pointed to the direction of the door, and cried, "GET OUT HERE. YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE ANYMORE." Hitomi didn't speak back. She deserved the treatment. She was a murderer. She killed her father. Maybe not literally, but she knew she was to blame. She muttered a small "sorry" and left, letting the rain soak her again. [Where should I come home to now? Do I even deserve to live?] Hitomi walked a little and bowed her head down carrying with her a feeling of dejection. The sound of water falling on concrete was all she could hear... and the tear drops that followed suite. [The rain washes everything away. How cruel.]
"Are You Sad?"
by: Our Lady Peace (a/n: woohoo!!!!! Yipee!! Buy their album, it's so cool! I love them so much!!!!)
album: Spiritual Machine (a/n: visit their site at www.ourladypeace.com)
Your life has been so hard
It's dried up angels
Who can't keep guard
And I'm trying to reach your hand
But I'm on fire I never meant to change.
Wasted.
So could you stop pretending
When they say you're nothing.
Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be...
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a/n: well what do you think? i know it's short but that's only because it's the prologue. I'll make it longer in the next chapters. Anyway, don't hate the mother okay? Later on, you'll know why she's acting so... mean. :) bye hope ya like it. R&R! :)
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Title: Into the Abyss
Summary: Hitomi comes back home to Earth a little too late. The present reality of her home shocks her and causes her to escape from reality, finding something not so good to preoccupy her. Will anyone be able to help her from her depression?
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne. So no suing please! No infringement intended! Just borrowing the lovely characters of Escaflowne. This story, however, is mine. Oh and the short sayings. :) Bwaha. As for the songs, they are owned by their respective singers.
Etcetera: hey there, hope you like the fic! Any idea who's gonna get her out of this mess? hmmm.... :) Anyway, this is angsty but i promise it's gonna have a good ending! Please review! ESCAFLOWNE rules!!!! OUR LADY PEACE rules too! (That's my favorite band!) ^_^ emails welcome at sab_shob@yahoo.com. Please I don't really like very violent flames. o_0 Visit my site at animeholics.envy.nu
Important Note: THINGS INSIDE [ ] are THOUGHTS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PROLOGUE: The rain will take everything away...
My happiness, my love, my dreams...
All draining into the sewer of my despair.
- by SabrinaYutsuki (the author of this fic)
Hitomi's POV:
Home... I had wanted to go home for such a long time. That longing I had in me turned my stomach inside out. Just taking in a familiar scent of Earth sent chills up my spine. Chills of homesickness...
Now I'm home. Now I can see my family again. My friends. My school.
And yet... Somehow, I'm not that happy. The desire... the homesick feeling... betrayed me. Now, like a fickle lady, they were replaced by thoughts of regret... Regret for leaving Van, the only man that has made me feel so much love... and warmth. I stared at the beam of light that brought me home, oblivious to the fact that it had disappeard hours ago. Somehow, in the distance, I took in the smell of the field. The smell of Van. Yet, there was no greenery anywhere. It was all concrete... It was the city after all. My imagination was torturing me. It wasn't fair... It wasn't fair. And like the wave of sad emotions, the rain poured down.
Damn this rain. This rain is anguish for me.
Narrator's POV:
Hitomi ran, her uniform soaked by the sudden heavy rain. Her thoughts raced in her mind. [I'm going home. I'm going to see my father and my mother... and even my pest of a brother. That's something to look forward to. I've missed them a lot. And now I'm actually going to see them... Gaea can wait. It's not as though I can't come back... Gaea can wait]. Now, she was feeling more sure of herself, her cheerful personality coming back to her.
Soon enough, she was at the front of her door. Anxiety filled her being. It was a long time she was away. Did they look any different? Her mother would probably have tears of joy brimming in her eyes. Her brother would have a sarcastic remark up his sleeve and her dad would give her a big pat on the back.
Her finger shivered a little as she reached for the doorbell. She was cold... and in some way, scared. She felt like a lost puppy hoping to be taken home again. The door opened, she smiled, but the grin was immediately washed by the reality that her eyes were giving her. "M... mom? Is that... y-you?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Kanzaki was in the worst state Hitomi could ever imagine. Her emerald eyes were dead. One hand held a lit cigarette, the other held a bottle of gin. Her hair was in a mess. Her mother stared at her, as though she didn't recognize her. She stood silent.
Again, Hitomi spoke, uncertainty clearly blended into her tone. "M-mom. It's me. Hitomi."
"Hitomi? Hitomi Kanzaki?", she spoke with such formality.
"Y..yah, mom. I'm back."
"Where were you all this time? Do you realize how much trouble you've caused?", her mother's eyebrows were arched up. There was no warmth in her speech. Hitomi shivered, feeling colder than before.
"I'm sorry. I..."
"A sorry's not good enough."
"M..mom? Can I... come in? Let's talk."
Her mother nodded, opened the door further, and revealed the interior of the home.
It was not good. Empty bottles were scattered over the floor. The television was on, but it was very blurry. Boxes of half-eaten pizza were on the tables. And the kitchen floor was muddy. It was never dirty before. Her mother was always very neat. She kept the house very clean. But then, things have changed. Hitomi felt her second blast of shock when she saw her father sprawled on the floor, bottles all around him.
"Dad! Dad!", Hitomi reached him and started waking him up, panic rising. He opened his eyes, let out a big disgusting burp, and bitterly laughed, the intense smell of alcohol in his breath. "Ha ha! You can't fool me! You're not my little girl... You're just one of those goddamn dreams I've been having and..."
At this point, it was all clear to Hitomi. She had been the cause of all this. She was gone too long. He missed his 'little girl' -- her little Hitomi. Guilt was clearly etched in her face, now wet with streaming tears. [God, I am probably the most selfish girl. A minute ago, I didn't really want to go home. How could I have not thought of what it was doing to my family?] "This wreck... this mess, it's all my fault. It's... oh, God I'm sorry.... I... I." Suddenly, her father was shivering... uncontrollably. "Mom! Mom! Something's happening to Dad... Help!" Her mother walked slowly to the lying body, a hint of nonchalance in her movements. "It's probably your dad wanting to barf again. He really can't take in his alcohol and..."
Mrs. Kanzaki held his neck. No pulse. He was cold. Now, she was worried. Now, a hint of sanity and awareness played in her eyes. "Oh no... no. No... NO!!!" Hitomi didn't like the sounds of that. She held him, felt a pulse in his wrist. Nothing. She applied CPR. She held her two palms on his chest and started to apply pressure with the rhythm and beat of her heart. Nothing. [No. No. This has to work. This has to...]
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! WHY?! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU WANT TO TORMENT HIM?! WHY COME BACK NOW? WHY?!" Her mother was clearly hysterical. Hitomi couldn't blame her. "Mom, I'm sorry." "STOP APOLOGIZING! IT'S NOT MAKING ANYTHING BETTER! WHERE WERE YOU ALL THIS TIME? WHERE?" "Mo-mom, I could exp-plain.", Hitomi was clearly in tears, sobbing uncontrollably. "DON'T BE SO PATHETIC. NOW YOU'RE CRYING? NOW YOU'RE CONCERNED? YOU... BITCH!" At this point, her mother's palm connected at her cheek, immediately causing it to go red. Hitomi felt the hit with her palm. It was painful... physically, but more so emotionally. It assured her that this was all real. That it wasn't some nightmare. That she wasn't going to wake up to the beautiful sound of the birds and see the bright sun shining over her sandy brown hair.
Her mother was still in a rage. She wiped the tears threatening to spill, pointed to the direction of the door, and cried, "GET OUT HERE. YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE ANYMORE." Hitomi didn't speak back. She deserved the treatment. She was a murderer. She killed her father. Maybe not literally, but she knew she was to blame. She muttered a small "sorry" and left, letting the rain soak her again. [Where should I come home to now? Do I even deserve to live?] Hitomi walked a little and bowed her head down carrying with her a feeling of dejection. The sound of water falling on concrete was all she could hear... and the tear drops that followed suite. [The rain washes everything away. How cruel.]
"Are You Sad?"
by: Our Lady Peace (a/n: woohoo!!!!! Yipee!! Buy their album, it's so cool! I love them so much!!!!)
album: Spiritual Machine (a/n: visit their site at www.ourladypeace.com)
Your life has been so hard
It's dried up angels
Who can't keep guard
And I'm trying to reach your hand
But I'm on fire I never meant to change.
Wasted.
So could you stop pretending
When they say you're nothing.
Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn't be...
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a/n: well what do you think? i know it's short but that's only because it's the prologue. I'll make it longer in the next chapters. Anyway, don't hate the mother okay? Later on, you'll know why she's acting so... mean. :) bye hope ya like it. R&R! :)
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