*I'M WARNING YOU GUYS NOW…THIS IS NOT A GREAT FANFIC…I WROTE IT QUICK AND FAST AND IS KIND OF AN INSIDE JOKE. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, ITS SHORT AND SWEET. JUST BEWARE.*

So I met Pete in Walmart, me and my mom were looking at plates and there he is just walkin' around like the owns everything (which he does)…Then my mom went to look for other shit so I just went up to him and said "I know you have the Ryden Sextape, we bagels want it…NOW"

Pete: "Well I can't just hand it over to you, you'll have to give me something first…You know I'm going through a divorce right? Well that's kinda hard on me right now…"

"Fine, what the hell do you want?" I said…

"I heard you were on FBR, and I own EVERYTHING on FBR. And I mean EVERYTHING."

"Oh, that everything"

"Yeah"

"Fine, here you go" I handed him, the uhm, ya know…I just so happened to have them in my purse at the time…

Pete then proceeded to hand me the sacred items of all Panic! fans ever, in the world…THE RYDEN SEXTAPE - JULY 22, 2007

I looked up and Pete was gone. That night (about last Thursday), with a bagel and Capri Sun, I took the giant step and put the disc into my computer…Downloaded it….And watched it…

What do I have to say but WOW. It's true, Ry does have the, ahem, *monstercock*. As you may have guessed, Ryan totally tops. He's so frail and fragile that Brendon would crush him on top ;}

Here's the setting: Hotel Room…One bed, 4:30PM, Lying is the Most Fun is on repeat, clothes ripped and shredded everywhere. Bagels and coke, all over the bed, desk, nightstand, and themselves.

Ryan's wearing the rosevest, cause that's what Brenny likes…Brendon, being a shy boy right now, was slow at getting to it, but then realized this was Ryan, RYAN…The person he'd been best friends with since High School (and in a relationship with since AFYCSO).

It all starts with an innocent kiss, then up against the wall, like they had an itch they just couldn't scratch. They stumble to the bed, Brendon entangled in Ryan's ever-so long fingers. Ryan pushes Brendon down onto the bed and flails himself onto him, kissing Brendon on the lips and working his down…

Ryan begins to grind pelvic regions, and does so for quite sometime. Brendon is quite the moaner and screamer. "FUUU—UUCCK!" He would yell now and then. I thought Ryan would be. Then Brendon's New Perspectivedream goes on (I don't think I need to mention that). In all this, Pete, being the pervert he is, comes in for a quick kiss and rub. By this time, they were both extremely hot and sweaty, slipping from each others grip. It cools down to just a n00d make out session and they both end up intertwined in a mess of arms, legs and, well, you get the ~*~picture~*~. Under the covers, something's going on down there…You can then hear Spencer and Jon coming out of their rooms. Brendon and Ryan quickly scatter to their separate clothes and the tape is cut.

*THAT'S IT. WHATDAYA THINK? THAT WAS MY FIRST ONE EVER…EVER…AND IT'S PROBABLY MY LAST…*