Dear my pointless abandoned diary,
Today marked my 5th wedding anniversary with my "mate". Right now I'm not quite sure how I feel about it apparently from what Im told at this time in our marriage I'm still suppose to be head over heels for him, but everyday that feeling just goes away even more. It washes away with constant rain of Forks. Are vampires the only exception to the feelings guide of marriage?
I think, well I know that I feel some sort of love for something but what or who am I loving? Is it just my vampire lifestyle? Or just watching my beautiful daughter enjoy her perfect life? Or is it just watching my brothers and sisters fall even more love with each other every day, if it is even possible for them to do so. But im sure the love I had for Edward all those years ago isn't even present. I now realized that marrying my high school sweet heart was fun while it lasted but it turns out that this was a mistake. Everyday since I realized my mistake I have too trick myself into believing that I love him and being a Cullen not only for Nessie but also because I don't want Jasper to become suspicious and talk to Edward about my lack of love towards him.
Not only is my love lacking but I NEVER get to see Nessie any more, though shes not a little kid anymore, I still love her and I'm still her mother and have a right to see her, right? Or is this another exception for vampires with a hybrid as a daughter? Me and Rennie just need to run away some how, the Cullens will for sure team up on me and probably lock me up somewhere so I never take lil *Rennie away. But I have a plan, they don't even know about this new found capability of mine. SHIT! Gotta go Edward is coming! His steps sound filled with rage! Hopefully he wont take it out on me again! God Please save me!
-Bella
*i wasn't sure how to put this is but i kinda wanted to explain about why Bella says Rennie so here is Bella going off on a rant explaining it!...
Oh why did i say Rennie?... Well as you may know the mutt gave her the nick name "Nessie" well you may have hear of this monster called the "Lochness monster".. Yea i know right! Jacob someone who i thought to be my BEST friend calls my daughter by a nickname that is connecting to a MONSTER! he is such an A hole! "Bella I'm destined to be with her" yea right my $$ you are!
ok bare with me i just felt like writing something and this is my very first fanfic. Should i continue with this ? I have wrote out a couple more chapters that I might throw out there but I'm not quite sure about this. And i would also like to apologize in advance all of my chapters will be kinda short and not to full and i may not realize that somethings may not make sense to some other people so if you have any questions at all please ask. And if you are reading this at all even if you don't like it please just write a review saying you saw it because im not sure if ill get many reviews at all. And if u have any suggestions about the story please help! OH and one last thing lol if i do continue will someone please help me create a better title!