Disclaimer: Sailor Moon's plot and character design belong to Naoko Takeuchi. The characters (NO SPIKE"S MINE!) and plotline of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon. I have no claim to them and am not making money off of this (sadly).

Heart and Soul

The room was clogged with the heavy perfume of cigarette smoke. It drifted through the air, swirling around the occupants of the bar like winding serpents. People sat around him, chatting, laughing, reminiscing of times past, and generally having a grand old time. He wish he could share their sentiments, but as it was he was getting himself piss ass drunk, drowning himself in his sorrows.

Good times? Haven't seen those in awhile. He thought bitterly taking a sip of his beer. Last time he remembered having fun even remotely was when he had beaten the crap out of Angel for his comment about his love life, or lack thereof.

He scowled remembering the conversation he had last week.

Flashback

"She loves you, you know." Turning around he saw Angel standing in the doorway. He scowled before turning away to light up a cigarette. "The bloody bint's confused is what she is. Doesn't know what the hell she's feeling." He drawled, dragging in a puff of smoke.

Angel frowned. "You don't really believe that do you? You just want an excuse to turn away her affections. You think she's too pure for someone like you."

Spike raised an eyebrow mockingly. "She IS too pure for someone like me" he stated. "She's a bloody saint is what she is."

Angel looked at him knowingly. "You're afraid. Afraid you might taint her."

It was a statement, not a question.

He snorted. "I wouldn't say taint. I don't think she actually can be tainted in all honesty. I just think she should find some other bloke to love." Someone worth loving. He added mentally.

Angel looked at Spike, bafflement written all over his face. When he spoke, his voice was laced with incredulousness. "You think that just because she chose someone like you that she doesn't even know her own feelings? She's not delusional!"

"She IS bloody delusional!" Spike bit out harshly. "Why would she want someone who could murder a person without even batting an eyelash? That's not love, that's insanity! The bint's so naïve, she wouldn't be able to tell the difference between Santa Claus and Satan."

"Tell me," he asked in all seriousness, "what makes you think she could be happy living with someone who could crush her in the slightest grip?"

Angel stood silently for a moment, and Spike believed that he had won the argument. His moment of victory was soon shattered however when Angel voiced his opinion.

"Serenity is naïve" he began, and Spike felt his spirit start to crumble.

But Angel ignored his expression and continued on with his train of thoughts. "She's naïve and she can sometimes even be blind; but she's not dumb. She knows her own heart like the back of her hand, and she knows what it is that she feels."

Spike snorted in disbelief but Angel looked at him in complete seriousness.

"I won't argue the fact that you're probably not the best choice for her, but it's her choice to make nonetheless. She chose you. Out of all the people who are probably far more worthy she still chose you, out of all of them."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and look where that got her. I broke her heart and told her to sod off."

Angel arched one eyebrow up derisively.

"I think you're underestimating her capacity to love. When she loves, she loves with her entire being. There isn't a part of her soul that doesn't go into loving a person."

"And regardless of the fact that you're a vampire and have committed atrocious crimes without even a meager sense of remorse; and for reasons still far beyond my own comprehension, she loves you."

"And you're dismissal, however cruel, won't change her feelings," he stated with conviction. "She might be hurt, she might even be angry, but she'll forgive you nonetheless."

Spike let out a groan of annoyance. "I know she will, and that's what worries me."

Angel just sighed and shook his head. "I know what I'm saying won't make a difference in assessment to your own self-worth, but if you're going to believe anything, believe this: she loves you; unconditionally, and that won't change."

Angel turned to walk out the door, but stopped before making his exit. He turned around and looked at Spike with one last appeal to make.

"If you're going to make a decision about what you should do, keep this in mind: she's vulnerable; probably even more so then you are. If you reject her a second time, she WILL break. She will believe herself incapable of ever being loved by you" he stopped, looking pointedly at Spike. "I think both of us know the truth though."

Then, without even a wave goodbye, Angel walked out the door leaving Spike to his thoughts.

End Flashback

So here he was drinking away his senses. Hoping to God that what he was about to do was the right thing. Standing up, he threw some cash on the counter as payment for his drinks. Heading towards the door, he took a deep breath in and walked out into the night.

Usagi stared forlornly out the window of her two-story house in Sunnydale. The moon was high in the sky and she was taking comfort in the fact that it was almost full. Being the Senshi of the moon her powers always increased when it was in the sky, especially when it became full.

But no, she had given up her duties as a Senshi when she had chosen to come to America. She had strayed off Destiny's path, wishing instead to create her own. Yes, that is why she had come. Both Mamoru and she knew that it wouldn't have worked out. They loved each other of course, but it was the love of two siblings, not two lovers.

And so, she and Mamoru had parted ways. He went to the East Coast to become a well paid doctor at a renowned hospital in New York, while she transferred over to the West Coast of the Americas to a university in California. She was known as Serenity Crescent now.

Serenity sighed. She had learned all about Sunnydale's "unique" little demon problem. She had first thought about helping, but when she had learned they already had a Senshi of their own, they called her "The Slayer", she thought it best to remain in the background. But things are never that simple. She thought sadly.

After being attacked one night by a newly risen fledgling, her life had become intimately intertwined with the Master Vamp that had saved her. After that, she could no longer afford to watch from the sidelines.

He called himself Spike. He was, for the lack of a better word, GORGEOUS. Tall, pale, with bleached-blonde hair and a sinfully sexy body. She had become a puddle of goo on their first meeting. And oh! When he had opened up that delicious mouth of his, a rich melody had played forth! She remembered it like it was yesterday.

Flashback

"You okay there luv?" asked the male who, in her opinion, was sex walking on two legs. "Wuh?" she had replied intelligently. He gave her a funny look.

"Hmm… you're more in shock then I thought. Maybe you should go home and get some kip, eh? It will help it to filter through." She just continued to stare at him blankly.

"Right…why don't I walk you home then. That way you won't have anymore run ins with the nasties, sides me of course." He said grinning devilishly. She just nodded her head dumbly and he arched a brow as she continued to stare at him shamelessly. "Right then, show us the way luv."

End Flashback

She smiled. It had taken a few moments before she had finally come to her senses and noticed, much to her embarrassment, that she had started drooling. He had walked her home after that, asking her a few questions about where she was from to ease the tension a little. She in turn asked her own.

It wasn't long after their first meeting that she had run into him again. Only this time, it was him that had needed saving. She had been walking home one night and had spotted him fighting alongside the slayer and her friends. They were fighting a gang of vampires and Spike, who had been beating the shit out of one of them, failed to notice the other sneaking up on him. She had jumped into the fray without a second thought, pulling out her stake (which she started carrying around since her first encounter with vampire kind) and driving it into the heart of the unfortunately oblivious vampire that was about to attack Spike.

Spike had turned around and gaped at her in shock. She just smiled pleasantly before dashing off to help the others. It wasn't until after the battle that she had become acquainted with his slaying buddies. When questioned, she had given them a half-lie, telling them that she was the slayer from Japan who had moved to Sunnydale after extinguishing the threat there. And it was partially true; she was a slayer, just not a slayer of vampires. But of course, this she did not mention.

The others had all accepted her story without much need for explanation (after all, only slayers would carry a stake around with them and have superhuman strength to boot, right?) and had told her that they would be grateful for any help she could offer. She had agreed to lend her support.

As she turned to walk back home, she did not fail to notice the suspicious look Spike had thrown her way. Nor did she fail to catch him as he followed her back home; subtly trying to hide himself in the shadows.

Flashback

She stopped walking along the sidewalk and sighed. Turning around she called out to the seemingly deserted street. "Come out Spike, I know you're there." He emerged from the behind the trees seconds later with a surprised look on his face.

"Didn't think you were that good luv. How exactly did you not notice a vampire sneaking up on you that first time?" he asked raising one eyebrow tauntingly. His stare was making her uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke. "What do you want Spike?"

He looked at her as if trying to say he could see through her façade. "I want to know who the bloody hell you are. And don't tell me you're a slayer because you don't smell like one" he said, sniffing at her for added emphasis.

She squirmed under his steady gaze before letting out a puff of air. Dropping her head in resignation she told him, "I'm not really supposed to reveal my identity, but it looks like you're not going to give me a choice in this matter are you?" He give a response, he just stared at her pointedly. She sighed again and began her tale, leaving out a few crucial details. "I am a slayer, just not a vampire slayer. We don't have that sort of problem back in Japan. However, we do get energy stealing demons over there, who we call Youma. I am part of a team in Tokyo, called the Sailor Senshi, who battles these demons. We have certain…ah…magical abilities which we use to purify them" she said choosing her words carefully.

A spark of recognition lit his eyes, and his shoulders started shaking. His face became red until finally he busted out laughing. "Oh hell!" he cried in great heaping guffaws. "You're part of that group of teenage school girls who go prancing about in mini skirts?" he choked as tears streamed down his face.

Her face turned red and she puffed out her cheeks indignantly. "It's not like we got to choose what our outfits look like! They just came with our powers!" she shouted in embarrassment. He snickered. "Course not luv. I was only teasing." But his eyes were swirling with unbridled amusement. She just huffed, before marching away indignantly. He followed her back and held onto his stomach in an attempt to keep from falling over in laughter.

End Flashback

Serenity shook her head smiling at the memory. After that, they had become fast friends. They watched each other's back during fights, and outside of battle they would hangout and reminisce about their long forgotten pasts. He told her of his past as a weak human with no backbone, and his unlife as a vampire who was both ruthless and sadistic (he told her how he had gotten his vampire name). She was an attentive listener who listened to him without judgments or accusations. And when he had finally finished his tale she had hugged him and told him that she accepted him regardless of his past. "Spike is spike" she had said.

Eventually she had confessed her life's tale as well, both of them. And although he had been a little skeptical at first about things such as past lives on the moon, he eventually came to accept what she said without question. It also helped that she showed him her memories via the Luna Mind Meld. When he had asked she had pointedly refused to henshin into her Senshi form for him, out of embarrassment of the very short mini skirt (she smiled remembering his disappointed pout).

But somewhere along the way, her feelings of friendship had changed and grown stronger. She frowned, remembering his reaction to her confession.

Flashback

"You're obviously delusional if you believe such rot" he stated harshly. She looked at him as if he were another person entirely. "It's the truth!" she cried. "Why can't you believe that?"

He gave her a mocking laugh. "You can't believe in something that isn't real. You don't really love me, you're just confusing infatuation for love. It's just a stage, you'll get over it" he commented in an offhanded manner.

She looked at him with a look that shot a pain through his heart. "You don't understand! Feelings like this can't be faked! It isn't possible! Can't you see that? Spike, can't you see that I love you?"

He turned away from her, not wanting to see the hurt look in her eyes. "Even if you're feelings were real, which they're not, you're still under the misconception that I would feel the same way."

"I don't understand" she stated meekly. He sighed, mentally preparing himself for the unforgivable sin he was about to commit. Turning around he gave her a harsh glare. She flinched.

He stated in a voice full of loathing, "Do you really believe I could ever love a child like you? I don't appreciate you trying to force your disgusting emotions on me. You're annoying me, so do us both a favor and sod off!" A strangled sob broke through her lips, and she turned, dashing off down the street without ever once looking back.

End Flashback

That was the last time she had seen him. He hadn't come by to visit her house in over a week. She sighed, knowing it was pointless to try and worry about things that she couldn't change. He didn't love her. He thought her emotions were annoying.

He sees me as a child. She thought smiling bitterly. Sighing she leaned back into the soft comfort of her pillows. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to be taken into the realm of Morpheus.

clack-clack-clack.

Serenity furrowed her brows in annoyance before blinking open her eyes and looking around the room groggily. Peering into the darkness, she tried to discern what had awoken her.

Clack-clack-clack.

She frowned. It sounds like it's coming from the window sill. She thought as she sat up and moved towards it to peer out into the moonlit night. Scrunching her eyes she gazed out silently searching for the source of the tapping. She thought she saw a figure standing there in the darkness but it was hard to make out who it was.

As if sensing her thoughts, the figure stepped out of the shadows, his body becoming bathed in the moonlight. She let out a startled gasp. Spike? She thought incredulously. What is he doing here? And at this time of night? He motioned with his hand that he wanted to talk. She withdrew from the window and made her way out through the door. Pulling her robe on a little tighter she stumbled down the stairs and swung open the front door, closing it shut behind her. He was standing there in the same spot she had seen him, staring at her like a predator. She shivered slightly.

He made his way over to her, keeping his steps soft and light, as if he were afraid to scare her away. Soon he was standing only a foot away from her. She had to gaze up just to see his face.

She was startled by what she saw there. Emotions were pouring out of his eyes, trying to convey to her what he felt. She gasped, stumbling back. He caught her in his arms before she could make the plunge. Her heart was beating rapidly within her chest and her emotions were on overdrive. I can't deal with another rejection right now! She screamed mentally to herself.

Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she prepared herself for another rejection. But instead she felt the cool, petal soft touch of lips against her forehead. Her eyes flew open wide in shock.

"I'm not here to hurt you. I came here to make a confession" he stated softly, running his fingers soothingly through her hair.

"I realized something the other day" he said looking down at her. She peered up hesitantly through her eyelashes and he gave her a small smile and cupped her face in his hands. "Do you know what it is that I realized Ren?" he asked and she shook her head.

"I realized that I am a coward, I'm afraid of putting myself out to get hurt again."

"I've been love's bitch for as long as I can remember. Each failure that I've had has left my heart heavy and full of pain. I nearly broke and went off the deep end each time" he stated staring deep into her eyes, and she could see pain that was flowing through them. "I was afraid Ren, afraid that if I let someone into my heart again that it would only get broken a third time." She opened her mouth to tell him that wasn't true, that she would never let that happen, but she immediately closed it knowing she had to let him finish; he had to get this off his chest.

"Somewhere along the way, I closed myself up to love, to the possibility that there could ever be a person who could love me the way I needed; unconditionally. You mean so much to me Ren, and sometimes I'm afraid that if I lost you that there wouldn't be a life for me afterwards."

"You're my world, my light, and the only thing that's keeping the darkness from consuming me. If you decided someday that the love you thought you felt for me was simply infatuation, or worse, a waste of your time, I don't know if I could bare it."

"The truth is....the truth…" he said forcing himself to take a deep breath and say the words he knew he needed to. "The truth is Ren, I love you. I love you with every bleeding bit of this motionless heart, and tainted soul. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm a coward. I'm still afraid of…of…losing you" he chocked dropping his head onto her shoulder and breathing in her scent. The sweet fragrance of roses and moonlight.

She smiled serenely, suddenly understanding the reason for his behavior. The pools of her eyes were filled with a mixture of joy, love, and happiness.

She wrapped her slender arms around his head tenderly and leaned to whisper in his ear. "If I must, I'll carry the torch of faith for the both of us. But you need not fear for there is only one set of arms that I wish to spend eternity in; only one pair of eyes that I wish to see every morning when I awaken; and there is only one heart and soul that I wish to capture and hold against my own until the day time can no longer stand upon it's gates and eventually crumbles into itself."

Pulling her head back slowly, she looked up to gaze into his eyes and saw unmistakable sign of tears forming at the edges. She leaned in and gently kissed each one away until, eventually, she arrived at the soft lining of his lips, and then, she kissed those too.

Fin

Hoped you all enjoyed this little fic of mine. I've been meaning to write a Spike/Usagi fic and this just came to me after listening to a song. Yes, it was called "Heart and Soul" and it was by Frank Loesser. It's a cute little diddy-tune. Please Review, I would love to hear your comments on this fic (as long as there are no flames. Constructive criticism is welcomed.)

Yours Truly,

Failisse