A/n: just some randomness… sorry about not updating my other stories… it's been a looooong year…

The Nick-Name

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaamessssssssss! Why do I have to have the stupidest name on the face of the earth?"

"Your name is not stupid. 'Padfoot' is perfectly usual for a dog."

"No, it's not that. It's that you call me mummblle."

"…"

"What?"

"I don't appreciate that."

"No, really, Pads, what?"

"That's exactly it!"

"What the bloody hell are you trying to get at?"

"I absolutely hate being called so feminine a name!"

"How is that a feminine name?"

"It's not so much feminine as it is… how shall I put this delicately…"

"Pads, you are not exactly known for your delicacy."

"Stop it! That name!"

"What is your problem?"

"That name is driving me crazy!"

"What in the name of Merlin is your problem?"

"That name is highly reminiscent of a feminine need!"

"…"

"It's just one of those moments, Pads."

"And you are just an insensitive, blonde, idiotic prick that can't get Evans to go out with him!"

"What does that have to do with anything? And since when am I blonde? I covet these lovely black locks. I'm thinking about getting them copy-righted. What do you think?"

"You're off the topic now, Prongs."

"Well, then, what was the topic?"

"My name."

"Well, what about it?"

"As I said, it is highly reminiscent of a feminine need."

"I'm afraid I still don't understand…"

"That, my friend, is why you are blonde."

"But I told you already: my hair is black, and you must be color blind!"

"Never mind, Prongs…"

"So, what is your problem with your name? I thought it was very efficient when we picked out names."

"It was efficient when we were FIVE. Now I have grown, and know the anatomy of the opposite sex."

"What does that have to do with your name? And we were older than five when we picked those names."

"That's not the point, Prongsie. And if you really must know-"

"Which I do."

"The female body requires a certain supply once a month-"

"Oh, my god, like Moony?"

"Mate, they sure get that scary. But no, it's not like Moony, you retard."

"Well, then, what are you trying to get at?"

"I am saying that the name "Pads" is also applied to the… uh… you know!"

"No, I don't. Please enlighten me."

"Prongs…"

"What?! I seriously don't know what you're trying to tell me!"

"Ok, do you know what a tampon is?"

"… no."

"You know what, Prongs? Forget it."

"No! I want to know!"

"No, you are too dim to understand. Go talk to an elder. They would understand, and explain it to poor little you."

"Fine."

…

"Hey, Pads?"

"Goddamnit! Ugh, just tell me what the hell you want."

"Why am I blonde?"

A/n: hope you… enjoyed it? Haha, I did… in a roundabout sort of way. I just saw 'Pads' in a story I was reading, and it kind of struck me in a funny way… But anyway, it gave me the giggles. So, I hope you thought it was as interesting as I did. I kind of fashioned James after my poor self in this one. I'm blonde (even though I have black hair) so it does happen to the best of us. :P

c