A/N: Short and not my greatest work, but again, late at night/eary in the morning and bored. Enjoy.
My Fault
I sat down the beer bottle and hung up the phone. The rest of my body was motionless, my face an etched stone engraving of shock and quilt.
Ponyboy and Johnny missing? A Soc killed?
It all seemed like some dream or one of those movies Pony was always taking me to go so with him. It wasn't real, it couldn't have been. Quiet, sweet, innocent Johnny would not and could not hurt a caterpillar, let alone stab a kid. Ponyboy didn't always use his head and could get himself into jams sometimes, but not something like this, never something like this.
I had been with them only hours ago and yet it seemed like centuries. I was with them. My body let out a shudder. I had been with them. I had walked to Johnny's with them and just left them. You idiot. You stupid idiot. A greaser should know better, especially seeing as I am older than them. I should have been watching out for them. Of course the Socs would have come back, they always came back.
I should have cut up that kid with my knife when I had the chance.
If I had just stayed with them a little while longer maybe this would have never happened. Maybe the Socs would have gotten bored or tired and went home. Maybe I would have been able to help, to fight.
I threw my empty bottle across the room. It let out a satisfying shatter against the wall. My mom would let me have it for the broken glass, but I didn't care. I had abandon my friends for alcohol.
I tried desperately to think of a joke, something, anything amusing. It usually worked with other people. When one of the members of the gang was down, I could always cheer them up or at least focus their annoyance on me with my crazy humor. Everyone just thought of me as wild, fun-loving, lazy, always joking and goofing around Two-Bit. But there was more to me. I hated to admit or show it, but there was. I couldn't change what happened in life to me or my friends, but I could at least put a different spin on it so things always weren't so dark and dreary. Dark and dreary? I was definitely letting Ponyboy rub off on me too much.
Ponyboy…Johnny.
How is this happening? Why is this happening? They're good kids. They're good!
The gang was my only family, just as it was Johnny's. I had to find them, to find him. It was my fault and I was going to fix it. I didn't know how, but I was determined. I tended to think bigger than was possible a lot, but right then I didn't care. I was going to find them and I knew just who to go to to do it, the same person I knew Johnny would go to for help.
I had to find Dallas.