Fist Wrapped in Blood (Songfic)
Song: Fist Wrapped in blood
Artist: Silverstein
Characters: Seishiro/Subaru, Kamui/Fuma
Synopsis: An outline of the tragedies faced by Seishiro, Subaru, Kamui, and Fuma. This is a mix of what actually happens in the anime/manga and my imagination based on what happened.
Disclaimer: The anime and song all belong to their respective owners. Clamp owns XXX Holic and Silverstein owns their song.
This is the most random thing I have written. It was bored while listening to music.
Finish me off,
Follow the plan,
Break all the bonds,
Severe the ties,
Blood, so much blood. Seishiro loomed over his sister's fallen form. His eyes were wide with shock. This could not be happening.
"No…" Subaru whispered, then screamed, "No! It should have been me, not Hokuto! Seishiro-san, why not me?" Seishiro walked over to him and grabbed hold of a strand of Subaru's raven hair with a hand tainted in Hokuto's blood.
"You're next," he said, smiling softly at the younger boy's look of horror.
And now your mission is complete,
Find and destroy me,
Subaru sat in his apartment staring out the window with his only uninjured eye. Though he saw no one outside, he could feel someone watching him. Subaru had little doubt in his mind as to who it was.
"Seishiro-san," he muttered, gazing briefly at the X shaped scar on his hand.
Torturing me,
With words from your lips,
Filleting my skin,
Pulling my teeth,
Kamui cried out in pain as he was thrown against the wall.
"F-fuma," he said weakly, and then spluttered as a hand wrapped itself around his neck, cutting off his words.
"I am 'Kamui'," Fuma replied, a sadistic grin on his face. Kamui's heart clenched painfully and a sense of hopelessness invaded him. Those few words spoken from Fuma's lips in his usually gentle voice was too much to bear. Kamui gritted his teeth as Fuma dug his nails into his neck, hard enough to draw blood. His mind was set. He would endure this pain; welcome it even, if it would bring Fuma back to him.
Please forgive me for not being good enough,
Drown your sorrows in my pain,
Subaru was staring at the ceiling of his bedroom as the sound of sobbing reached his ears. He looked at the naked figure curled at the other end of the bed. Kamui was trembling in his effort to try and retain his tears. Subaru could do nothing more than watch his best friend suffer. There was nothing he could say or do that would ever ease Kamui's suffering. They both knew they were using each other as substitutes. Subaru smiled an almost bitter smile. He knew that they were just increasing their heartache by doing what they did. And yet they seemed unable to stop.
And it's something you can't explain,
When I'm choking on words you'll never say,
And you'll never feel the same,
Blood was spilling from his body, his time running out with every ruby drop that splashed against the pavement. Seishiro lifted his head just enough to look into Subaru's fearful eyes. He smiled and pulled the boy's head closer to him.
"Subaru…I lov…" his words died in his throat before they got a chance to reach his bloodstained lips. Would Subaru understand without words? Did he feel the same? Would Subaru ever repeat to him the words he had just spoken? Seishiro almost laughed as he realized he would never know. The last flame of his life extinguished along with the torment of questions that would remain forever unanswered.
Bound and gagged,
I cannot move or speak these things I want to say,
I can't explain them anyway,
Kamui was bound to a bed. His mouth had been gagged. He could not ever scream out in pain. All he could do was silently bear what Fuma was doing to him.
"You seem scared Kamui. Am I really so terrifying?" Fuma asked as he cut into the thin skin just below his collarbone with a piece of shattered mirror. Kamui closed his eyes and gasped in pain, but weakly shook his head. He was not terrified of the torture being inflicted upon him. Kamui prayed that Fuma had no idea what he was doing to him. That was what terrified him. If Fuma knew what he had done to Kamui, he would snap. Kamui wanted to reassure him. To tell him not to worry, that he would be forgiven if only he would come back to him. But Kamui was powerless to utter a single word as the man he loved continued to mutilate him.
So if I had it all again,
If I could start from the first words I ever said,
I would do it all the same,
As he sat in the Dragon of Earth's lair, Subaru thought about Seishiro. Starting from when they had first met until his death, Seishiro had done nothing but torment him. Despite that Subaru was painfully aware that, if he got the chance, he would not have changed a thing about how things had turned out. Even, he thought guiltily, Hokuto's death. If anything had changed Subaru was fairly sure that Seishiro would have kept those words he had spoken during his final minutes forever to himself. He lifted a hand to the eye, once Seishiro's, which now belonged to him. Subaru treasured those words more than anything. That's why he was content with the tragic events of his life.
Your joy is my pain,
My fingers are yours to cut off,
And my bones are yours to shatter in pieces,
Kamui felt the sword pierce through his heart. Instead of being scared he felt relieved. Everything was over now. The Earth had won. He smiled at Fuma, who seemed to have regained his consciousness. The taller boy looked down at Kamui, his heart a whirling mess of confusion and sadness so crippling it was hard to breath.
"Kamui, what have I…" he began. Kamui shook his head.
"This is what I wanted. It was my wish," he explained as his strength began to fade away, "I couldn't stand to see you die, even after what you'd become, so I chose to die in your place. If it's for you I'm willing to risk everything. I love you."
My teeth are yours to pull out,
And my soul is yours to slowly rip apart,
"But I don't want that! Kamui I'm so sorry!" Fuma said hoarsely, tears stinging the corners of his eyes.
"You're forgiven. You've always been forgiven," Kamui said before falling to the ground. Fuma fell to his knees in front of Kamui's limp form, tears now freely falling from his eyes.
"Kamui…" he whispered the boy's name over and over again into the suffocating silence.
I can't trust anyone I meet,
From now on,
My chest feels more like a fist wrapped in blood.
Fuma sat alone in his bedroom. The blinds were closed, allowing no light to filter into this place of darkness. He was numb; the pain had left him long ago. And with that numbness came emptiness so vast that there would never be a way to fill it. Fuma was barely conscious of what he did nowadays, his mind could only linger on the terrible dream-like memories of the sins he had committed on a person he had dearly cared for. He had given up on moving on long ago. It would never happen.
Let me just say that this is the most random, pointless thing I have ever written. I can't believe I put it up. I don't really expect this to get much attention. I just did it as a spur of the moment thing, but if you enjoyed it I am glad. I still kind of like.