So I've been really stuck when it comes to writing fic lately but I've been dying to write something like this for ages so here it is. I actually have chapter outlines for this one so even if I get a bit slow with updates, it won't be left unfinished. The title and subsequent lyrics come from the amazingly gorgeous song 'Start Again' by Conrad Sewell (which unfortunately like Suits, I do not own).

So I guess I'm gonna let you go,

But you get to keep a little bit of my soul.

Prologue

It's ten past way too fucking early in the morning but there was no way she was going to have this conversation at night. Honest conversations late at night have never been anything but trouble for the two of them. If he can still accost her at her apartment in the middle of the night, then she has every right to bang on his front door before he's even had his morning dose of caffeine.

She hears a deep groan, then the sound of the door latch.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

His voice is flat, devoid of any emotion. As if he has the right to be pissed off in this situation…

She pushes her way past him and he limply follows after her. She's glad she made the decision to come before work, ready and armed in her sleekest black dress and her tallest red Manolos. He looks nothing like her regular opponent in his white t-shirt and faded sweats.

"If you're here to lecture me I hope you brought another cactus."

Donna ignores him. Her body is vibrating with pent up anger and she wants to smack that tired, smug expression from his face. She throws her handbag on the counter, almost knocking an empty tumbler onto the tiles.

"I have done nothing but try to make this an easy transition for you," she yells. He furrows his brow, but she continues before he has any chance for a rebuttal. "But Jesus, Harvey, I cannot make this any clearer…I am not coming back."

He recoils as if she actually did slap him.

"And treating me like I'm some prize to be won in battle isn't going to do anything to change that fact."

Harvey sighs and runs a hand through his already messy hair. "Fucking Louis."

She narrows her eyes. "This has nothing to do with Louis."

Harvey looks up at her sharply. "It has everything to do with Louis. That asshole just couldn't wait to report back to you."

"What does it matter if he told me? You still said it."

Harvey paces the length of his kitchen, ready to launch into a tirade. "He just loves this. He's always gone after what's mine, he's been scrambling for years just to get a piece of what I have."

"Oh my god, do you hear yourself?!" she asks incredulously.

He stops pacing. "What?"

"I'm not something you own, Harvey!"

He winces. "I know that," he says quietly.

She shakes her head, tearing her eyes away from him. "I don't think you do."

"Is this about your salary?"

Good lord, he could be so dense sometimes.

"Among other things," she says vaguely.

"Can you stop being so goddamn cryptic and just say what the hell you mean for once?" he snaps at her.

She wants to laugh at the total hypocrisy of his statement when the last ten years of their relationship has been about trying to get him to admit to having any shred of human emotion.

"You're acting like a possessive ex-boyfriend," she informs him.

Harvey releases a bitter laugh. "That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, it is. Because we both know that's not how you feel and yet…"

"Donna, what do you want from me?"

She's heard this question from him a dozen times over and she's rarely been able to answer honestly.

Her shoulders sag. "I want you to want me to be happy," she admits.

A look of guilt washes over his face. "Of course I want that."

She swallows the lump in her throat and speaks carefully, "Then please let me go. I need this to be over."

She watches him inhale deeply, eyes cast downward, trying to maintain his breathing. He slowly sits onto the stool in front of the counter. After a long moment he looks up at her.

"Donna…it kills me to see somebody else sitting at your desk."

Her heart wrenches at the admission, but she isn't going to break this time. She can't keep letting him blindly walk all over her and not realise how much that is killing her. She can't keep being everything to him except the one thing that she needs him to be for her. She's been in love with him for far too long already.

"Harvey, please. I need you to respect that this is what I want," she says softly.

"What about what I want? Does that matter?"

Donna smiles sadly. "That's all that's ever mattered, Harvey."

He doesn't say anything in response. She'd been prepared for a screaming match when she arrived on his doorstep. She'd rehearsed that scenario, and they'd been doing so well just a few moments ago, finally having the fight that they never had when she quit. Ending with a bang, and all that. But here they are now, their twelve years together coming to a quiet, official end at his condo in the early hours of a Wednesday morning.

Harvey turns away from her and walks over to the front door. He makes a point of opening it wide for her. Donna doesn't need a house to fall on her; she snatches her handbag and leaves his condo without another word uttered from her mouth or his.

The door slams shut behind her.

She hails a cab outside his building and spends the whole drive to the office convincing herself that she did the right thing.