The Edward Playlist
Song One: Inevitable by Anberlin
I took a deep breath, trying to keep a level head, making sure that I was under control, and stepped out of the shade into the sun. I heard Bella from the middle of the meadow gasp in shock. Or possibly fear. Only she wasn't running. I hoped she didn't run, but I hoped that she wanted to, to get as far away from me as possible in case I lost my senses.
The grass that fluttered in the light breeze (that was thankfully at my back) looked inviting enough to lie down in, so I did. I just lay there with my eyes closed and listened to Bella's heartbeat. It was going too fast to be normal, and I imagined the blush in her cheeks. I heard Bella walk closer, slightly cautiously, and sit beside me. And I wished that we could stay like this forever.
I want to break every clock.
The hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment,
Stay in this moment,
For the rest of our lives.
The breeze changed direction, and the smell of Bella's blood shocked me out of my trance. I realized that I had been singing along with the chorus of the song in my head, only too fast and at too low a volume for Bella to hear.
A small jolt went down my back when she touched the back of my hand. I felt that her hand was trembling. I looked at her face, and she was thinking. I smiled a bit.
"I don't scare you?" I was interested, waiting for the surprise that her answer would bring.
"No more than usual."
I smiled wider now, laughing a bit to myself.
Now Bella had her fingers on my forearm, and her hand trembled all the more noticeably. I closed my eyes, content. Her hand was soft, very warm. I could feel her pulse in the capillaries all through her fingers, though it felt much weaker than it would if her wrist would come in contact with my stone-like skin. It made my throat burn with thirst for her blood, but I couldn't let it come to that.
Bella asked me if I minded, and I told her that I didn't, and she couldn't imagine how it felt.
I opened my eyes again, and saw her reach to turn my hand over. I did so before she had touched my palm. The fingers that were on my arm stopped moving. "Sorry." I closed my eyes again. "It's too easy to be myself with you."
I let her lift my hand. When she brought it close to her face I tried not to let my hand get too tense.
"Tell me what you're thinking. It's still so strange for me, not knowing." And it was. It was like having my ears partially plugged up, like the annoying tendency one of my older CD players had of simply omitting the background line of a song.
"You know, the rest of us feel like that all the time."
"It's a hard life. But you didn't tell me."
"I was wishing that I could believe you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."
I stopped myself just before I told a lie. "I don't want you to be afraid." I could barely speak loud enough.
"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, thought that's certainly something to think about." She surprised me again. I honestly had no idea why she was afraid, if not for the obvious reasons.
I propped myself up on my arm, probably too quickly, and wound up only a few inches away from her. I'd expected her to shy away from me, and she didn't. "What are you afraid of, then?"
And then Bella was too close. And I did the first thing I could think of. I took my hand out of hers and ran across the meadow into the shade of one of the towering trees. Looking back, guilt washed over me as I saw the hurt look in her eyes.
"I'm...sorry...Edward," she whispered.
"Give me a moment," I spoke, waiting for the intense pain in my throat to, if not disappear, then subside. Ten seconds was long enough, but it seemed like forever.
Another portion of the chorus came back to me.
Is it over now?
Hey, hey is it over now?
:0:00:0:
Our confessions and explanations were over. I knew that I needed to get her back quickly, before her dad came home so that he wouldn't ask questions. And so I ran with her on my back. I still loved the rush of the wind in my face and my hair, dodging the trees and branches, and the novelty of such instances had not faded with time.
The last part of the chorus was pounding at the inside of my mind, wanting to be put into action.
When we got back to the truck, I said "Exhilarating, isn't it?" My voice showed my enthusiasm.
I waited for her to climb down from my back, but she seemed frozen, though her heartbeat was faster than ever. "Bella?"
"I think I need to lie down," she said.
"Oh, sorry."
She still didn't move. "I think I need help."
I laughed quietly, unwinding her arms from around my neck, trying to be gentle. After sitting her down by a tree, I asked Bella how she felt.
"Dizzy, I think." She even sounded dizzy, kind of a worried yet hyper tone in her voice.
"Put your head between your knees," I suggested. She obeyed, and I sat beside her.
"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I stated.
"No, it was very interesting." It was amusing how Bella always tried to find good points in everything.
"Hah! You're as white as a ghost – no, you're as white as me!" I tried to lighten her mood to match mine more. The high from running still hadn't worn off.
"I think I should have closed my eyes." Bella was still too serious.
"Remember that next time." Assuming that there was one.
"Next time!" she groaned. I really couldn't help but laugh.
"Show off."
The final part of the song's chorus danced in my head, as it had while I ran.
"Open your eyes, Bella." She did. "I was thinking, while I was running..."
"About not hitting trees, I hope."
"Silly Bella, running is a second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about."
Bella reiterated my flaw of 'showing off'.
"No," I restarted, "I was think there was something I wanted to try."
I want to be your last first kiss that you ever have.
A/N: Twilight isn't mine, and neither is Inevitable by Anberlin.