Some beings say your life flashes before your eyes right before you die.
Carapar had never particularly believed them. He'd never listened to them - as if he'd die anytime soon, or if he'd even cared about his life anymore. He was now a monster beyond recognition and redemption; his prolonged life was torture for him. Dwelling in the black sea for thousands of years, clashing with his former friends, former ruler companions, and now bitter a bitter handful of skilled beings forced to live in the same region as each other had never particularly brought him pleasure. The sight of the underwater fortress he'd partaken in the building in being crushed under a sinking piece of land was not a joyous time either. Being hypnotized by Takadox so many times he couldn't count was just pure misery. Terrorizing the Matoran pleased him, but in a way that terribly sickened him. His life was torn in these moments. His honor, his love, his respect... in fact, it was all shattered the moment he'd become one of the rulers of the League of Six Kingdoms. He didn't care about himself anymore. All he ever did was just keep existing, day after day.
Memories of his life previous to being a ruler were vague. Some way along the way of conquering islands, assembling armies, and planning strategies, he'd forgotten about his old life. And that sickened him.
He now remembered back when he was a small being. Like a Matoran, but stronger, and more... more primal. He was part of a race of six subspecies, each with their own location and culture and title, who were specially created by the Great Beings. He'd belonged to a tribe. He'd found out things he wasn't supposed to know - particularly about his and the other six subspecies purpose, and Great Spirit Mata Nui would soon come down to pick one being of each species to rule. He remembered his transformation into a greater being, like a Toa, but superior. He'd sailed the ocean in that time, ventured to many lands, drank in many cultures, fed on many views, did things he'd never dreamed of doing. He remembered the first time he'd met the other to-be Barraki - Ehlek, Takadox, Mantax, Pridak, Kalmah... back when they were small beings as well, and he witnessed their transformations into greater beings. He remembered saving his tribe from danger, clashing with Mantax for the first time, being entranced by Takadox for the first time. He remembered the awe of being given the mantle of being one of Mata Nui's chosen rulers, the gratitude and the joy that had washed over him; the feeling of strategizing and acting, and carrying out the will of the Spirit ... and then the greed and ambition that had sprouted in his heart, and the later plan to overthrow Mata Nui with the other Barraki.
He remembered the clash with the Brotherhood of Makuta. Being shackled and put in front of the great being who so used Shadows in the name of Light. Being banished to the Pit by a being named Botar, that one with the power of teleportation and the hideous face.
He remembered the rage, the hatred, the fighting, the rending through his jailers... he remembered escaping to the black waters and being mutated. He remembered conquering the creatures who he'd been mutated for, making an army. He remembered helping build up the fortress. He remembered the horror he'd felt when the Matoran city sunk down and crushed it. He remembered the rage he'd felt. He remembered the sickening pleasure he'd felt for terrorizing the Matoran. He remembered the discovery of the Mask of Life. He remembered the quest to retrieve it. The failure. The discovery of a revived Hydraxon. Being imprisoned again, recruited by the Order of Mata Nui, sailing with Brutaka - who he'd thought Kalmah had killed – across the ocean. He remembered getting trapped on a strange island. He remembered encountering the sick being who called itself Tren Krom, and its ghastly story. He remembered attempting to kill it. He remembered the appearance of a yellow eye and a beam. He remembered indescribable pain. He remembered his life all over again. The sorrow. The grief. The love. The honor. The loss. The rage.
He remembered no more.