Disclaimer: I don't own anyone from Star Trek, though I did give "Cupcake" and his buddies names. Kirk/Spock with implied Kirk/"Cupcake" Some racy parts, but no lemons. Takes place after Complexity, but is completely not plot related at all. Just a silly little blurb that came into my head.

Ch 1

Russell Northrop was stomping down the hall as usual. His shift was over and he was starving, so he was en route to the mess hall. As he turned the corner, he walked smack dab into Captain Kirk, who (surprisingly) was too engrossed in his data pad to see the large man coming. The data pad fell to the floor, much to his irritation. When Russell saw who it was he had bumped into, he sneered. It figures that he'd bump into Kirk.

Kirk looked down at the fallen data pad then back up at the much larger man. "Jeez, be careful! This thing has all my work in it!" Russell took the opportunity to roll his eyes as his captain bent down to pick up the data pad. Kirk tried walking around him when he spat out, "So, Captain, I hear you're Spock's personal cupcake now. Is it true?"

Smirking, Kirk turned to the security officer who obviously still held a grudge against him and said in a mockingly seductive voice, "Yeah, he likes to lick the icing off of me every night. Why do you ask? Are you jealous?"

Russell's face turned a red that rivaled the color of his shirt. "Of course not!" he shot back, perhaps a little too quickly. Kirk couldn't help but laugh. "Take it easy big guy," he said, patting Russell's stomach and earning a scowl that dripped with pure hatred. "Even if I wasn't with Spock, I doubt I'd suit your taste."

Before he could think of a witty reply, Kirk had already continued on his way down the hall. His beefy hands curled tightly into two large fists. As soon as the captain was out of sight, he punched the wall as hard as he could and walked off. The dent left by his fist contained a perfect molding of its details, the outline of his knuckles and fingers clearly visible.

As soon as he entered the mess hall, he ordered the one thing that could put him in a good mood: A 16 ounce medium rare T-bone steak with a baked potato, complete with all the toppings, and a ice cold beer to wash it down. He spotted his friends at a table and dropped his tray and stein on the table. Scrapping the chair back, he flopped down into the chair without saying a word and began sawing at his steak.

His friends eyed each other nervously. Russell was the biggest and strongest of the four men, and his temper was always one to be reckoned with. Silently, they tried to convince each other to ask what was wrong with him, but no one seemed to be willing to take the risk. So, as usual, they played rock-paper-scissors to see who would be the one to speak first.

Pumping their fists under the table, they threw their respective signs. Two scissors, one rock. Jake, the second biggest of the group, dropped out and let the other two fight it out. Paper versus rock. Thomas cursed under his breath as Warren breathed a sigh of relief. Taking a deep breath, Thomas asked, "Hey, uh, Russell? You alright buddy? You seem a bit…agitated."

Russell stopped mid-saw and looked at Thomas, who gulped nervously. In a low rumble, Russell said, "I'd rather not talk about it."

The three looked at each other again while he returned to his T-bone. This was a rather dangerous situation. Without knowing what it was that was bothering Russell, there was no telling if they'd say something that would make him even madder. Then again, if they pushed the issue too hard, the knife he was using to cut his steak might find itself embedded in one of them. No one knew how to proceed, and no one was really wanting to say anything for fear that Russell's anger would be redirected to one or all of them.

Warren took a risk and decided to start up some friendly conversation with the other three. "So, Valentine's day is coming up soon!"

Thomas chimed in, thinking Valentine's day would be a safe enough subject to talk about in mixed company. "Yeah, yeah! Are you and Monica gonna do anything special Warren?"

"Nah, nothing too much," Warren replied. "She's talking about making some cupcakes for me though…"

Russell's fists balled up and slammed down on the table. The three men stared at their friend in utter terror, realizing their worst nightmare was about to come true. With fiery eyes, he looked at each of his friends and said, "Don't. Mention. Cupcakes."

The moment they heard the word "cupcakes", they knew exactly what, and who, the problem was with Russell. Jake spoke up, "Aaaaah, I see. Now I know what's wrong with you. Captain Kirk pissed you off again didn't he?" The grumble that came from Russell's mouth, which was full of baked potato, was answer enough for Jake. Jake smirked and said, " I can't believe after all this time you still haven't gotten over him calling you 'Cupcake'. You know, I bet he doesn't even think about you when you're not around; meanwhile it seems like that's all you talk about! 'Captain Kirk' this and 'cupcake' that. Jeez, as much as you talk about it, I almost think you got a crush on him!"

Jake saw the sharp end of Russell's steak knife pointed at him. The smug smirk that was on his face quickly vanished as he saw his own mortality flash before his face. The words he spoke had come out of his mouth faster than he could stop them and he now found himself regretting he ever opened his mouth. However, when he looked at Russell's face, he didn't just see rage, but…embarrassment? No…it couldn't be…did he…?

Despite the lump of fear in his throat, he managed to stutter, "Russell…don't tell me…you don't…" Not wanting his friend to be skewered, Thomas bravely asked, "Dude, do you have a crush on Captain Kirk?"

The color of Russell's face blended perfectly with the red shirt on his back. His friends gaped at him in wide eyed surprise. Russell retracted the hand that held the knife and slammed it on his tray. Downing the entire mug full of beer, he stood up, walked over to a receptacle and almost threw his food away. However, he caught himself and took the still full plate of food and stormed out of the mess hall with his plate.

"Oh my God…" Warren said. "Russell has a crush on Captain Kirk!"

Azrael had just passed by when he heard Warren utter the biggest scoop he'd heard in a while. He stopped in his tracks and debated spreading the word. However, he remembered the last words he had with Spock while he was recovering in sick bay from the thrashing he received. Shaking his head, he decided against saying anything to anyone and chalked it up to another secret he'd take to his grave.

However, Mesmire, an Orion medical officer who had also heard what Warren said, was less inclined to keep a secret. Orion women loved gossip even more than they loved sex, and would never pass up the chance to spread a rumor. Mesmire walked out of the mess hall and spotted one of her friends. With a mischievous smirk, she said, "You'll never guess what I just found out…"

Russell entered his room and let the door slide shut behind him. He rested his back against it and closed his eyes. The inside of his room was dark and inviting, allowing him to simply rest without even having to walk all the way across the room and lay in his bed. Wait a minute… he thought to himself. I didn't turn the lights off when I left for my shift. I never turn my lights off when I leave for my shift…

He fumbled around for the light switch by the door and turned the lights in his room on. Temporarily blinded by the drastic change in lighting, he failed to see that there was someone on his bed. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw that not only was someone lying on his bed, but it was Captain Kirk. Naked. And covered in what looked like…frosting and sprinkles?!?

"What the fu-" Russell's voice trailed off as he stared at the man on his bed. Why the hell was Captain Kirk in his room wearing only frosting and sprinkles?!? As if he read his mind, Kirk purred, "I knew you wanted me, Russell. All you had to do was ask and I would have given you exactly what you wanted…"

Russell shook his head furiously. No, he couldn't actually be seeing and hearing what he was…there was no way. Kirk may have been the promiscuous type, but to sneak into a subordinate's room and proposition him? In such an outlandish fashion? If Russell wanted to, he could report this to Starfleet and have Kirk court marshaled, or even committed.

But Russell didn't want to. He didn't want to admit that something like this had happened to him. He didn't want to admit that Kirk was lying on his bed waiting to be licked clean. He didn't want to admit that he didn't want Kirk to leave. He didn't want to admit that he wanted to do it, or that the thought of it made the front of his pants incredibly tight.

He gulped and stood rooted to the spot, not daring to move in any direction, neither away or near. Sensing the man's apprehension, Kirk smiled his pearly whites at him and beckoned him closer with a seductive finger. As if caught in a tractor beam, Russell slowly clomped closer and closer to Kirk until he towered over him. Kirk leaned back on his elbows and smiled up at him. "Come on," he breathed reassuringly. "This frosting isn't going to lick itself off…"

Obediently and as if in a trance, Russell knelt down carefully to avoid getting any frosting on his uniform. His breath came out in harsh puffs of air as he stared at the frosting, which started in the middle of Kirk's chest and ran all the way down between his legs. He looked up at Kirk again as if he was waiting for a confirmation to make a move. Kirk nodded and closed his eyes, anticipating the feel of Russell's mouth on his body.

Gingerly, Russell began licking the icing off of Kirk. Each time his tongue licked along Kirk's skin, a small moan escaped Kirk's lips. With each moan, Russell gained confidence in himself and began enthusiastically licking his way down Kirk's body. Just as he reached the area between Kirk's navel and his crotch, he looked back up at Kirk, who looked back at him with half closed eyes. Kirk smirked at the icing on Russell's nose and placed a hand on his face. Leaning forward, he licked the icing off of Russell's nose. Russell watched as Kirk pulled back and felt a painful throb between his legs as Kirk sexily licked his lips.

Returning his head back to where he left off, he licked the rest of the way down and finally reached…

Russell sat up straight in his bed, drenched in sweat. He gasped for air like a fish out of water, his eyes wide with fear. He was thankful that it was only a dream, but he was severely disturbed by the fact that he had dreamed it in the first place. One thing was for certain, he was NOT going to tell his friends about this…

The clock on his dresser glowed the time back at him. 06:29 AM. He sighed. At least it was almost time for him to wake up anyway. He turned the alarm off and went into the shower to clean himself of the sweat that covered his body. When he saw the throbbing appendage between his legs, he decided that a cold shower was in order.

After spending far too long in the shower, he dried himself off, pulled on his uniform, and left his room. Since he took so long in the shower, he had to rush to his station. Running through the door of the security station, he saw Azrael spin around in his chair and smile awkwardly at him.

"Hey Russell," he said. "You're a little late." Russell doubled over and struggled to catch his breath as Azrael rose from the chair. "Sorry…" he huffed. "Had…a bad…dream…over…slept…"

"Don't worry about it dude," Azrael said, patting him on the back. "I'll see ya later."

Taking Azrael's place at the security panel, Russell sat down in the chair and surveyed the screens before him. So far it looked like a normal early morning on the Enterprise. Azrael waved goodbye to him and left him alone to be bored senseless for the rest of his shift. Russell was much more serious about his job than Azrael was. The smaller man seemed to have a bit of a voyeuristic fetish and enjoyed spying on people. He even went so far as to spread rumors about the things he heard and saw.

Russell prided himself on being far beyond that, though he noticed that less and less of the rumors lately were started by Azrael. He wasn't sure what it was that inspired this sudden desire to be less privy to other people's business, but Russell felt his respect for the man go up a bit. Perhaps now Azrael would bring his focus to ensuring that everyone on the ship was safe instead of interesting snippets of information to pass around.

Just as Russell thought this, he heard what he thought was his name from one of the screens. He squinted in the general direction he heard it in. Two girls were chatting and giggling in one of the halls. Unfortunately, by the time he caught it, he had already missed most of what he said. He shook his head and shrugged. He wasn't the only Russell on the ship, so it was nothing to be concerned about.

Except as the day progressed, he heard his name more and more, coming from different people at in different places. It went against everything he believed in to eavesdrop on someone else's behavior, but hearing his name so frequently was tugging viciously at his curiosity. Just as his shift was about to end, he finally gave in and listened to one of the conversations he heard. The instant he heard what everyone was talking about, he wished he had allowed himself to remain blissfully unaware.

"Did you hear about Russell Northrop?"
"You mean that big burly security officer?"
"Yeah him! I heard he's in love with Captain Kirk!"
"Oh my gosh, I think I heard someone talking about it!"
"Oh yeah, it's all over the ship! It's the biggest thing since we found out Kirk and Spock are dating!"
"Wow, what do you think Spock feels about this?"
"I don't know, but knowing him he's probably hiding the fact that he's furious!"
"Wouldn't you be if someone was lusting after your boyfriend?"
"Of course I would be! You know, it makes sense why they call each other 'Cupcake' now…"
"Maybe they're actually having an affair and that's their nickname for each other!"
"Oooh, they've been calling each other that since the academy! Maybe Spock actually knows about it and wants to join in!"

The two girls giggled madly as Russell stared at the screen, wide eyed and slack jawed. That was what everyone was talking about? How long had this been going on? Where in the world did they get the idea that he was in love with Captain Kirk? Russell's mouth closed as he clenched his teeth so hard he threatened to shatter them in his mouth.

Ensign Benjamin Lavenski, Russell's shift relief, entered the room and froze in place when he saw Russell's face. Russell had always scared him; he was big, burly, and had a mean temper. As he looked at him, he thought of an angry, rabid pit bull who would attack anyone who got too close to it. After Robert passed away, Russell was reassigned to his post. Ben hated relieving Russell from duty since everything about him gave him the jitters, but with one less security officer on board, there was no choice.

Sensing his presence, Russell turned his head and directed the furious look on his face at the unlucky ensign. He flew out of his seat and stormed towards the new arrival. Ben jumped and backed against the wall. Russell grabbed a fistful of Ben's shirt and pulled him close. "You," he growled. "What have you heard about me?"

Ben tried to speak, but fear held the words captive in his throat. Russell shook the man just hard enough to make his teeth click together. Again, he asked, "What have you heard about me?!?" Ben clenched his eyes shut, not wanting to make eye contact with the angry lieutenant. "Nothing sir! I've heard nothing!"

"Don't you dare lie to me!" Russell roared. "I know people are talking about me on the ship! You can't possibly have heard nothing! Who's spreading rumors about me? WHO?!?"

Tears sprung to the frightened ensign's eyes. "Mesmire! Mesmire's running around saying that you're in love with Captain Kirk! She said she heard Warren say it when she was in the mess hall! I swear, that's all I know!"

Russell took a final moment to stare relentlessly at the now crying ensign and pushed him against the wall, storming out of the security room. Ben pressed his back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He swiped furiously at his eyes, angry that he had been scared to the point of tears. After he took some time to recollect himself, he got up from the floor and took his place at the security panel.