Here For You
By: Song
Summary: Kakashi didn't know why Iruka would love a killer like him... but he was glad he did.
A/U: Reading some KakaIru when 'Tangled up in You' came on my mp3. Well, this is the result. I'm not entirely happy with the end, as I don't think I quite relayed the intimacy of the situation. I'm also not happy with the title. I'm open for suggestions.
And remember to Review!
Blood soaked porcelain crashed to the concrete awning like broken dishes as the elite nin sank to his knees.
Drowning. He was drowning. Drowning in the blood- the blood, oh kami, the blood!
Choking, spluttering he stared as flecks of blood dotted the his pale, far too pale hand.
Was he a monster? The blood staining his nails seemed to say so. He had just killed an entire family. Massacred them. Destroyed them. Father, Mother, two sons and a daughter. Even the dog. Even the fucking dog!
Dead. Dead. All at his hands.
What kind of... thing, was he, to steal life away like he did?
Numbly he untied the porcelain mask from his head, startled as it growled and jumped out of his hands.
Hound's infamous face stared back at him, snarling and animistic.
A clap of thunder and accompanying lightning light the sky.
Darkness.
The slight creak of a door as it was opened filtered through his muddled, death filled thoughts. A figure pulled a bathrobe tighter, looking around for the disturbance. He gasped quietly as he found the collapsed form of his distraught mate. "Kakashi!"
Blearily mismatched eyes opened, starring at a kind sepia toned face. "'Ruka."
It didn't matter that he lived in a world of homophobes- they weren't here right now to tell him how disgusting he was. It didn't matter he had just murdered an entire family simply because he was ordered to- he was a ninja, and as a ninja it was his duty to dispose of any threat to his home. It didn't matter that his hair was stained red with blood, or that it was pouring outside, or that tomorrow morning the lifeless bodies of his victims would be found by some unsuspecting soul.
All that mattered was he was home, with Iruka.
"'Kashi! Shodaime, what happened?" he questioned as he lifted the taller man into the apartment, not really expecting an answer.
Kakashi, predictably, perfectly content on snuggling into the broad chest. Gentle fingers lifted the cloth away from his face. He inhaled deeply, savoring his love's scent. Soft warm hands were touching his body, as if frantically searching for a wound.
"Are you injured?"
"Not mine." came the muffled reply.
A sigh of relief escaped the warm body as muscles became noticeably less tense.
Both men simply breathed for a few moments, intent only on the other's presence. Silence was broken when Iruka whispered "Is it alright if I clean you up?"
An almost imperceptible nod ansered.
Iruka was everything good in his life. His life could be split into two distinct parts. BI for Before Iruka, and I, for Iruka. Everything BI didn't matter. Everything BI was a world of pain, allowing him to appreciate I even more. In that sense he had only been truly living for a few years. He thanked whatever greater power that was listening for bringing Iruka into his life- even if his arrival was accompanied by agony as his genin team fell to pieces around him.
Iruka was the glue that held him together. Iruka was his reality in a world of post-mission hallucinations. Iruka was the spark that lit the blazing inferno in his heart. Iruka was his hope, passion and life... and Iruka was undressing him.
First, he began with the shinobi gear that Kakashi had neglected to remove. The chest plate, various weapons, gloves, sandals- the works.
If it wasn't for the fact that he was dead tired, covered in blood and incapable of doing much of anything he might have ordered Iruka strip and take him then and there.
"I think this shirt is going to have to go." Quietly a rip was heard and his bear chest was exposed to the lighting of the apartment. He shivered as one of his last protections against the world was ripped away.
He felt the hair on his body stand on end when form fitting cloth was pulled away from his hips and legs.
Naked. He was completely venerable. His years in the field screamed for him to hide, take cover- anything but lay there like a newborn pup, helpless and blind. After nearly three years of an intimate relationship, he was still weary of showing himself- his whole self, and all the weakness of being human that it included.
Yet... he knew he was safe. He was not in the field, or enemy territory. He was on the floor of their apartment, in the middle of Konoha with the one person he trusted more than life, keeping him afloat in a sea of dispare. Iruka would never let anything happen to the people he loved, and Kakashi was proud to be a part of that elite group.
Once again he was lifted into the arms of the man he loved. Another clap of thunder reverberated through the air and unconsciously he held tighter to the one reality in the world. Weakly clutching the strong chest he almost whimpered as he was set down into a cold bathtub.
"Shh... I'll be back in a minuet, I just need to put everything away. In the meantime just relax." Laying a tender kiss on his pale lips Iruka turned on the tap and began filling the tub with warm water.
He could hear Iruka putting away his gear and cleaning his ANBU uniform. He was lucky to have such a devoted partner. Very few knew the true identity of ANBU. It was almost unheard of for anyone less than ANBU to be privy such information- and if they were and something went wrong (such as a leak) it was on the ANBU's own head. Iruka was one of the few that knew not only that his lover was ANBU- but which one. If that ever got out... well, its better not to know.
Just as Iruka had promised he was not long. By the time Iruka reentered the bathroom shirtless and carrying a washrag, the water had barely reached three centimeters in depth. The white noise of the faucet drowned out any lasting discomfort and fear as Iruka began gently washing his lover- pealing away dried blood and rinsing off the memories of pain.
The missions remains floated down the drain, taking with them any feelings of guilt or regret. A ninja wasn't allowed these niceties. A shinobi's victims were mourned, then promptly shoved into a forgotten corner of the mind- hopefully never seen or heard from again. Realistically, he knew he should feel something more than that. Quite frankly however, he had been doing this so long that the shock of death had worn thin and- though he was appalled to say so- he had grown used to it, as he couldn't remember a time where being a ninja was not at the center of his life.
Too tired to protest, Iruka lifted him from the tub and dried him before gently wrapping a blanket around his still naked form.
"Love you, 'Ruka."
The Kiri refugee smiled, pulling his mate closer.
Snuggling into the warmth that was his lover Kakashi felt at peace.
Iruka was his saving grace; Everything that Kakashi couldn't be, Iruka was. Kakashi knew that no matter what he did, he would never deserve someone like Iruka. He couldn't fathom what made Iruka stay with him- Kami knows he wasn't a good person, or even an easy one to live with. Yet there he was- day after day, month after month and year after year.
More than once Kakashi had asked Iruka why he stayed with him, when there were far better, more deserving people out there- and he could have any one of them.
Iruka would chuckle and kiss him lightly, telling him that was why.
No, Kakashi didn't know why Iruka loved him.
But he was glad he did.
Fin