This is a songfic that I came up with the idea for when I wrote "The Unforgiven", another SBTB songfic, this takes place during Jessie's addiction to the caffeine pills that she took for her exams, the effects of her addiction and thoughts of suicide run through her head, enjoy!

Suicidal thoughts and Jessie's Redemption

A frazzled Jessie Spano popped another pill into her mouth, she knew that taking drugs was bad, but she had to pass her exams, and she wouldn't be able to do that if she was brain dead. The fact that exams had been over for two months now, had everyone concerned, "Jessie, listen to me, the exams are over, you can stop taking these pills now." A concerned Kelly Kapowski told her, "I can't, you guys don't seem to understand, I can't get through a day without one pill, if I do, then I'm brain dead and walking like a zombie by lunchtime." she replied

"That's a lot better than you being dead, don't you think, if you value your life at all, then you'll give me those pills NOW!" Kelly had never been this angry before so Jessie handed her the bottle and said good-bye, walking to her house and up to her bedroom, a Colt .45 in her hands, she bowed her head and sobbed, this decision she made in a split second, if I'm causing everyone this much concern, then maybe I shouldn't be alive, she told herself again and again. She scribbled out her suicide note in seconds,

To whom it may concern,

Life it seems will fade away, drifting farther everyday

Getting lost within myself, nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live, simply nothing more to give

There is nothing more for me, I need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be, missing one inside of me

Deathly lost, this can't be real

I cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me, to the point of agony

Growing darkness taking dawn, I was me but now she's gone

No one but me can save myself but it's too late

Now I can't even think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed

Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye, good-bye my friends, Jessie Spano."

Jessie then put the barrel of the gun against her head and prayed that God have mercy on her soul, but right before she pushed the trigger, the phone rang, "Hello," she answered, "Jessie, don't do this, we're your friends, we love you." It was Kelly, but this time she was crying, "Listen Jessie, if you put that gun to your head and pull the trigger, you're going to force me to do the same thing, and I don't want to die, I'm begging you, please don't do this!" Kelly's soft begging turned into screams of self-induced agony, "Alright Kelly, calm down, I'm still here." she calmed her friend and tore the gun from her hand.

Another day, another songfic from FEARLESS MASTER, I hope that fans see the loyalty and caring attitude of Kelly but also I hope that you understand why Jessie wanted to kill herself, she felt like she was being ignored and she felt that she wasn't making a difference (all of these thoughts are effects of her addiction), also thanks for reading, until next time!- FEARLESS MASTER