A/N: For anyone who doesn't know, vibrato is when a string player vibrates the hand holding down the string, and it creates a shaking sound that is really pretty. If you haven't heard, you'd be really hard pressed to find a slow string solo that didn't have this, so just Google it! Also, sorry if I took the 'Lelouch plays an instrument' idea and ran with it, but with his hands, not playing an instrument would be a waste!
The rich sound of a cello filled the room at Aries Villa. CC and Suzaku watched silently as the emperor's fingers stretched and shook along the strings. His eyes were closed in concentration. The vibrato was reminiscent of the sound of crying, though he meant it to be so. He could not cry himself, but he felt that if the instrument did it for him, he would be okay, and perhaps even survive with his sanity. But he doubted it, still. The room was dark, as it was storming outside, and the only light was coming from a dim, but intricate chandelier far above their heads. CC's face was characteristically blank, for she could remember seeing the very song performed by its composer hundreds of years ago.
Suzaku's countenance was twisted with an emotion he himself couldn't quite identify as anything more than deep sorrow. The low tones of the cello resonated with the emotion, drawing it out of him.
Lelouch's fingers danced lovingly across the strings. It was one of his last performances before the requiem, and he knew it. In only three nights, he would not be here anymore. Somehow, part of him felt guilty for wasting time frivolously like this, but the majority of him couldn't stand the thought of not doing this, of never truly expressing his emotions again. He loved the feeling, and he would miss playing when he left. The thought made him sad, but instead of showing it on his face, he pushed the feeling out through his fingers, making the vibrato rise in frequency at the height of a note, right before the end of the song. He sat back, allowing a forlorn expression to come across his normally cold features, and allowing the cello to lean into his lap, staring at his small audience.
"It sounded quite nice." Suzaku broke the silence awkwardly, and CC stood to walk away, presumably to order some pizza.
"Better than I've heard it played before." She said, before disappearing out the door. The emperor and his knight sat in silence staring at each other.
"Do you suppose they'll have cellos in Hell?" He looked to the ceiling, and for a moment, he felt completely miserable. It wasn't the first time. Suzaku frowned at his words, and sat up from his previously relaxed position.
"Don't say things like that." He meant it to sound final, but he must have failed, because Lelouch slumped down sadly and continued speaking.
"I'll miss playing. I'll miss this…you guys, and being here. I think it's the most content I've been in a very long time."
"It's death. It's not like you'll be around to miss anything, right?" Suzaku hadn't meant the words to sound harsh, but of course it had. Lelouch, however, only chuckled.
"That's right. It doesn't matter, anyway." The humor never quite reached his eyes, and he set the instrument down and swept out of the room, leaving Suzaku alone, wishing he had said something that had actually made the raven haired monarch feel better, but not knowing what he wished he had said.
This, this was his last performance. On the cello, anyhow. CC didn't listen this time, leaving only the emperor and his knight. They were in the same room, and it was still dark, only this time it was because the curtains were drawn, forbidding natural light from touching the two. This piece was not slow and sad, it was fast and ferocious, and Lelouch felt it an acceptable song to go out to. Not that it mattered. The only one who'd hear it was his killer. There was no vibrato. No time for crying. The notes were merciless in their speed and volume. Suzaku thought that it fit him rather well.
When he finished, they sat in silence for a few minutes.
"Good-bye, Suzaku. I wish you luck with your task tomorrow." He stood sharply and made to sweep out of the room once more, but was stopped when his knight grabbed the sleeve of his white garb. "What is it?" All thoughts ran through his mind, Suzaku's next words could quite possibly be the last the knight ever spoke to him. Suzaku heard the pain in his voice. For once, it was not masked from him and the rest of the world. It made him pause.
"There will be. Hell's only cello will be for you, and if it isn't, then I will bring one there for you." For a moment—barely a second—Lelouch looked relieved, or content…but maybe he'd imagined it. Then he laughed. It was humorless and dead. More of a dried out sob than a laugh. He continued on, hysterical laughter turning to strangled sobs, and Suzaku held him. Taking his hand, where thin red welts still decorated his fingertips where the strings of the cello had worn into them. He simply stood there as the emperor's amethyst eyes poured the tears vibrato could no longer hold. After a while, he fell silent, and they once more stood in quiet.
"It's okay to be afraid, Lelouch." The ebony haired boy shook his head.
"I shouldn't be. I chose this path. I shouldn't regret all of it. I did what had to be done."
"Lelouch," Suzaku stared sternly at him. "If you could kill all those people and be okay with it, I would be terrified of what you'd become. Yes, you did what had to be done, would you do it again? Maybe not, but we must both live with this present that is the result of both our actions." His emerald eyes rested on the boy in arms, and he realized something about what he'd said. And it was true. He would go to hell for Lelouch…for this person that he loved. "Lelouch, I know you couldn't kill like that. I know because I love you." Amethyst eyes glared at him for a moment, as though looking into his soul, to see if he told the truth. Once satisfied with his impromptu soul gaze, he pulled the brunette boy to him and kissed him harshly, and his knight returned the favor. He pulled back only to say:
"I love you, too." Their actions were rooted in desperation, a man with less than a day left to his name, and another who knew that if they waited any longer, it would be too late for them to have anything.
"Now. Isn't that a beautiful word?" Lelouch gazed at his lover, smiling slightly.
"Yes, but only because right now, I'm with you. The smiles never left their faces, but neither did the sorrow. At least, not entirely. Lelouch decided it was okay that Suzaku looked a little sad, because he felt that way, too. The weight of what they could've been. The weight of a future where the emperor didn't die, and Suzaku didn't take over as Zero.
"I'm glad we figured this out. So we can have one last good thing before we face our fate." They sat, drinking in each other's presence in a way they never had before.
Nearly two hours later, Lelouch awoke, and nudged Suzaku to do the same. They had to get dressed. It was time.
"This is good-bye. I love you." The brunette looked like he might cry for a moment, but he just wrapped his arms around the other protectively. Though he didn't much care for the thought, because it only reminded him how few things he had protected his love from.
"I love you, too."
Many years later, he still hated the sound of any cello. No one could pull sound from the instrument the way the demon tyrant had been able to. But, to Zero, he was not the demon tyrant. He was his poor, cruel, and brutally misunderstood lover. All that remained of him was a vandalized grave, and a younger sister who had never quite overcome her exceptional grief. The world may be better for most, but for the few who understood, understanding in and of itself brought incredible pain. But, he remembered his promise, and knew that when he died, he had to find his love, whether he was in hell or not. But, truthfully, Suzaku didn't think he was. If there was a God, (and he wasn't sure, after all this suffering,) he certainly would have to grant heaven to someone who had saved the world at the expense of their own happiness, and perhaps sanity.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed, I'm nervous to post this not for RoTG, because I didn't really expect the Dune thing to get any reviews, anyway, so mission accomplished on that account! :P