'Ellie, you're okay?'
Ellie's mind was in a dark place. It's been so for weeks.
The guys knew that. They were getting used to their fellow agent not being the same one. During the first days, there were panic attacks too, now there were moments of mental isolation. She stayed at her desk, silently, her eyes staring at nothing.
It's been so since the rape.
Nick was with her, when she had her first panic attack.
It was late evening and a lot of agents were already at home.
She had suddenly started sobbing, and her lungs struggled to find the oxygen they needed.
Nick saw her from his desk and ran towards his partner.
He slightly bend and hugged her. Ellie's tears were dropping on his back, as she lowered her head.
He could feel her heart racing, her sobs becoming louder.
'It's okay, B., I've got you.'
She was sobbing so hard her body was shaking, despite Nick was trying to calm her down.
She slightly slid from the chair and Nick avoided her fall, holding her.
He stood up and made her sit on her desk.
The sobs slowed down, and after a while, she was quiet.
'Hey, B., you're okay?'
She slightly shook her head, her eyes were still filled with tears.
He caressed her, scared of how vulnerable she was.
He wanted the tears to disappear, he wanted to see her smile, he wanted to know she was okay.
'We should go to Sloane' he suggested.
She nodded, as she got off of the desk and went towards Jack's office with Nick.
'Ellie.'
Hearing her name pronounced by McGee, she came back to the others.
Nick and Tim quickly glanced at each other, they were worried.
Then Nick got close to her desk.
'Ellie, I've asked you if you're okay'.
'I'm not.'
Her answer was quick, her voice feeble but sure.
The team knew she wasn't ready to work on the field, but she didn't wanna stay at home. So she went to the Navy Yard, worked on the cases on the analytical aspect, periodically talking with Sloane.
She was actually working, and Gibbs knew she would come back. They were waiting for her.
'Do you wanna talk with Jack?'
She shook her head.
The silence was interrupted by Gibbs, who quickly entered the bullpen.
'McGee, we gotta go'.
'Yes, boss'. He grabbed the gear and patted Nick's shoulder. Torres quickly nodded.
The elevator closed and Ellie and Nick were alone in the squad room.
'So, can I help you with work?' he asked, still in front of her.
'Are you good in Statistics?'
'Nope'.
'That's the answer'.
'Ok. Do you wanna take a break?'
She shrugged her shoulders. 'Ok'.
'That's not the right mood for a break'.
'Seriously, Nick?'
He sighed, thinking he had gone too far.
But when he looked at her, a slight smile was on her face.
Something he wasn't used to in those days.
She got up and they went to the break room.
Ellie didn't say anything since they were at the table, a snack in Ellie's hand, a juice in Nick's one.
'Hey, Nick'.
He raised his eyes towards her.
'Don't be afraid of teasing me'.
'I-I don't wanna say something wrong'.
'I know that, just, don't stop.'
He nodded. 'Copy that.'
She looked down for a few seconds, before raising her head again.
'Do I like so different?'
'You're always my Charlie'.
She slightly chuckled. 'I'm serious, Nick'.
'You look... sadder.'
'I am. My mind... it's in a dark place, Nick. I can't make it come back'.
She sniffled, and a few tears wet her cheeks.
'Do you talk with Sloane about it?'
She nodded, looking down at her own fingers. 'She's helping me.'
'Good' he stated.
She smiled at him, then she bit her snack.
'You didn't lose your love for food'.
'You can say that'.
Nick looked at her, kinda surprised by another smile.
'You should smile more often.'
'You should make me smile more often.'
'Deal.'
'You're a very good person, Nick. There should be more people like you. But someone's cruel.'
Nick got up, then he moved his chair next to Ellie.
It was the time to say something he has been thinking for days.
'I wish I could prevent it'.
'You-You couldn't.'
He wiped a tear out of her cheek, kindly touching her freckles.
'N-Nick' she said, looking up at him.
'Yes?'
'You could help me to find the light.'
'I'd like to.'
She got close to him, her little body slightly shaking.
He rubbed her arms. She felt comfortable, feeling his hands.
'You're beautiful'.
A smile appeared on her face, and Nick placed a kiss on her lips.