This story contains mentions of blasphemy. It does not reflect my personal views on religion and is only there for story purposes! This story also won't contain any sort of BLMatsu! This is a copy of the original fanfiction that was on Ao3; there are too many warnings to list, so proceed with caution! Lot's of mentions of death in different ways.

That being said, I hope you enjoy!

...

"Oh! So you're one of the triplets who take care of the church?"

Opening his mouth to correct the kind old woman, the boy doused in pink reconnected his lips and bent them into a smile. He nodded, rotating the orange in his hand by manipulating his fingers in certain directions.

"Yes, ma'am! I'm the youngest one."

"Well, you three do a great job. That church sat empty for years until you got ahold of it; in my youth, I remember that church being such a gorgeous place to spend your Sunday mornings. Such an ancient treasure brought back to life!" With wrinkly hands, she reached out and pinched Todomatsu's cheek, stifling a childish grin out of him. "And by such lively young men-I would imagine your brothers are, if you yourself radiate this much light!"

Todo laughed. He bowed slightly, hanging onto his hat with his free hand as to make sure it didn't fall off. "Thank you very much! You're too sweet."

The old woman nodded, folding her hands. "God bless you, dear," she breathed with a smile before drifting away from him to continue her shopping. Letting his arms fall to his sides, Todo exhaled tiredly. He hadn't expected he or his brothers to become borderline celebrities once reopening a rotting church, the air inside tasting of time. Innumerable people flocked to its doors, many of them older, to be active in their faith. He had been used to attention before (and craved it rather dangerously), but this foreign kind of attention was different. It gave off an aura of genuine appreciativeness and pride rather than the snobbish fawning he received in previous years. He recalled his old boyfriend Atsushi, who did nothing but shower him in gifts and treats and money, which Todomatsu accepted unanimously. In full honesty, he missed those days, but his brothers insisted that he'd have to leave it behind if he wanted to fulfill the job he was set to do. Atsushi claimed that he understood, but Todo felt that he didn't really. In his memory, the boy in pink sulked in the market, peering at the orange in his hand, bummed. The one time he actually had mutual feelings for someone, he had to give them up.

Continuing along, Todomatsu grabbed the couple other things he was asked to purchase and departed, walking along the sidewalk, his skin bathing in the setting sun. The dress he wore softly fluttered behind him, mixtures of cream and rose rippling and absorbing the chill of the wind. Squinting to see forward in the sun, the thought of being referred to as a triplet crossed his mind.

It was a common misconception. People had never seen the other half of the set, and those who were alive to be able to know them had already forgotten of their existence. Then again, Todo himself had very fuzzy memories of his oldest brother. They had found him early one morning lying in the middle of the street with a bullet hole just above his left eyebrow. He had snuck out in the middle of the night when they were ten to search for a woman in urban legend who only had a top half; he was adventurous as all hell. He had been looking around an old building when two men inside had an argument and resorted to gunfight, in which one of the stray bullets struck him in the head and killed him instantly. That had been rather rough to deal with; Karamatsu, the second oldest, had come downstairs when his body was brought to the door to notify their parents of his death and caught a glimpse of the gory wound before their father had realized he was there and tore him away, desperate to save him from permanent scarring. He had gotten to him too late, and Kara refused to open his mouth to speak for two weeks straight. That sort of thing never happened in the time that they grew up, so the community had nothing but sympathies and love to give to their family. Their big brother's death was the biggest tragedy to strike the town in years. His name was Osomatsu.

Todo readjusted the paper bag in his arms. The other five of them had managed to make it to their very late teens before anything happened again. At that point, they had grown into their own unique personalities and picked up hobbies and habits. Todo's directly-older brother was impressively energetic, preferring to burn off his energy through athletics. He was a riot; despite his skinny frame, he could swim five miles upstream in a raging river in an hour. One night when he failed to return home after leaving for a day of exercise, they all grew fearful and sought him. Day after day, searches turned up with no results, leading their family to think he was kidnapped. Shortly after a week without him passed, news stations covered a story on a bloated, blue body beaching in Nagoya and frightening beachgoers-as luck had it, he had been swimming in the ocean and got swept into a riptide, exhausting himself and drowning when he tried to escape. History repeated itself in terms of the pain of experiencing yet another brother's funeral and their mother's unobtainable grief. Shortly after his death, their father had up and left with no words, leaving just a family of five. Miraculously, they made it through despite drowning in loneliness and agony of their brother's lost battle with the sea. His name was Jyushimatsu.

Todomatsu was nearing the church now, the steeple in view over the trees. Only a couple of years after Jyushi's death, their mother had a heart attack in her sleep, leaving behind the four brothers to care for themselves. A frantic search for jobs ensued, but only three of them managed to get hired, and those that did manage to find work received unfair pay. They hardly made it by. One night while eating dinner after a long day of running all over the place in panicked attempts to scrape together cash, their third brother had broke into a dangerously long coughing spell, hardly having enough time to intake air in between coughs. Wiping blood from his lips once the fit was over, he coldly denied help from his brothers, claiming figuring out how the hell they were going to afford how to live was more important than getting medicine. Reluctantly, they left it alone, but only when his breath fell heavy and strained as he laid in his futon, barely having enough strength to lift his head by himself did they realize that it was a grave mistake. This time, the three healthy brothers crowded around him, at a loss of what to do to save him. Tears streaming down their soft cheeks and staining them with salt, they leant over their dying brother and prayed for a miracle, but as their brother's body shook gently as he breathed his last breath, they quickly and depressingly realized that the last bit of hope that remained had vanished. They draped themselves over his body in piercing regret, promising each other that nobody else was going to lose their life. Spreading their brother's ashes over the lake, as were his wishes, they decided to turn to religion to protect them, since it would be nearly impossible to take care of one another (as it had been so roughly proven to them). The ghost of their brother loomed over their brains for months after he had passed. His name was Choromatsu.

Todo's small hands tugged hard on the handles of the oak door, pulling them open just enough for him to slip inside and close it again. The memories of his brothers were always a painful thing to think of and all of those memories came flooding back within a matter of seconds of being referred to as a triplet. Things just got way too bothersome to correct them and introduce them to his brothers' memories.

The stained glass reflected colors of crimson and orchid and malachite onto the polished pews, the broadness of the nave absorbed in dust and dimming sunlight making Todo feel small. He walked down the center aisle, the sound of his heels echoing with each click they made, his eyes scanning the area for the sight of any of his brothers. Off to the side, bathing in the spectrum from the window was a black mass, shoulders relaxed and elbows moving similar to a cam follower. Upon further inspection, a tabby cat could be seen lounging in his lap.

"Ichimatsu," Todo whispered, letting the openness of the nave amplify his voice for him, getting his brother to twist around. Ichi had bags under his eyes from stress and his eyelids hung half open in fatigue.

"Oh. You're back." He blandly stated, the cat in his lap rubbing impatiently on his arm. Mindlessly, he began to stroke its fur again.

Todo's dress caught on the pews as he made his way over to his big brother. "Have you seen Kara? I have the things he needed."

"I think he's in the courtyard," Ichi mumbled, deciding that their conversation was over and turning back to what he was doing. Todo exhaled and nodded even though his brother couldn't see him and stepped over him, making his way to the small hallway at the end of the aisle.

Their church was huge, offering plenty of space for the congregation to visit as well as a secluded space set aside for the three of them to live. Sure, it wasn't arranged in a cross as most churches were, but Kara insisted that was what made it home. As you ventured deeper into the passageway, the nearer you got to their section of the church. Grasping tightly onto the paper bag, the crinkling echoing, Todo shoved his hip up against the door at the end of the hallway, loud creaking sounding in the following room.

Todomatsu closed it behind him with his foot, approaching a set of three or so stairs that elevated him onto a platform, offering as the gateway to the courtyard. Translucent windows offered a bit of light into the "foyer", the textured glass beaming too bright of a white to look at directly. Entering, the running water of the small pool of water that purposely spilt over the fountain in the center of the room provided a comforting sense of peace. Enveloping the room was golden light, delicate primrose and daffodil clusters scattered across the patches of grass that grew in each corner of the room. Three of the walls were painted a gentle cream color that was tinted with yellow; the far wall was brick and hung upon it was a large, brass cross. Knees in the bit of water that gathered onto the floor and soaking the front of his black pants, the eldest of the living brothers bent over in prayer in front of it, hands tightly clasped.

Todo floated over, the sound of his shoes shifting through the water offering a smooth noise. He stood next to his older brother for a second, hoping he was about finished, but when his head failed to lift, the pink boy cleared his throat quietly.

"Nii-san," he whispered, never liking to interrupt prayer, but he had things he needed to work on. Karamatsu flinched at the sudden sound, breaking him out of his haze, and he sat upright, rubbing his eyes. A smile flickered across his face.

"Ah, dearest baby brother!" He cried, gathering his footing to stand up, reaching out and taking Todo's free hand in his, clamping both over it. "It is truly wonderful to see your childish face!"

"We have the same face?" Todomatsu cringed, the corners of his mouth twitching in the painfulness of his brother's horrible habit of shaping his sentences oddly. Kara paid him no mind and took the bag out of his hand, providing the bones in his wrist and hand with a break. Todo let out a sigh of relief and shook his hand around a little.

"Were you able to get everything?" Kara asked, peeking inside the bag.

"Yeah, everything's there."

"Amazing! Hopefully tonight, the three of us can actually attempt to make something other than noodle cups and reheated oden..." His sentence hung off disappointedly, as if he had somehow let their parents down by (technically) being the oldest and failing to keep his little brothers from going hungry. As far as he was concerned, he would starve before they would, but keeping them fed with junk wasn't a very fulfilling feeling.

"I'm gonna go and light all of the candles now, okay?"

"Yes, little Todomatsu! Do whatever you have to do. I'm just going to finish up my prayers." With that, Kara knelt back down towards the cross, continuing what he had been doing before.

A major downside to the church despite its beauty was its lack of electricity for some reason. During the day, there were enough windows to keep the majority of it bright enough to walk through, but when night fell, it was pitch black and impossible to pierce through the abyss. Todomatsu was absolutely terrified of the dark; back at home, he tried not to drink anything for a couple of hours before bed so he didn't have to go in the middle of the night. If he ever needed to, he shook Choromatsu awake and clamped onto his arm the whole way down the hallway and back. He didn't have Choromatsu now, and even if he did, he was sure he wouldn't have wanted to escort the youngest brother around the church in all hours of the night.

As a solution, Ichi politely suggested to "use the damn candles" they used for the choir. What a good idea! Every night now, peeling around the church frantically as the light dimmed, Todo collected the candles from the nave and placed them around anywhere he thought the three of them might need to go. A path of candles lit their way from the bedroom to the courtyard, and the courtyard to the nave, all the way down the aisles to the front door. However, at that point only three candles were left - the row of candles he held during mass - so Todo kept them in their bedroom to carry in case they needed to go somewhere else. This included the bathroom. Todo withheld his rule of not drinking anything before bed.

Bounding around, Todo lit each of the candles he needed to, occasionally dodging a stray cat or two that was searching for the Sister. Finally, he lit each one, the moon engulfing the room in dark blue, the color from the windows faint on the carpet. He followed them all the way back to their bedroom.

While he didn't mind it, he secretly loathed the secluded lifestyle that they had to live. It was true that living like this allowed them to comfortably live - and nobody else died yet, which was good - but it was so dull compared to what they would do before. Flirting with nearly everybody that ordered coffee and going on three dates a week didn't compare to standing off to the side with heavy candles for an hour every Sunday, tuning out the sound of his brother yelling enthusiastically on the pulpit. The others couldn't have liked living like that either. (Then again, maybe Ichimatsu did, because it was quiet and he welcomed all of the stray cats to roam free whenever they wanted, which pretty much was his dream.) Though the three of them never complained.

Ichimatsu was lounging in the corner of the room, eyes closed, using his tabby as a pillow. The cat peculiarly had glasses and eyebrows that it wore all the time for some reason, but since it appeared to be Ichi's best friend, nobody said anything about it. It followed him everywhere he went and slept on his lap during mass. Ichi was always the first one to sleep since he had to be up at five every morning to be able to do morning prayer.

Kara carefully moved around their bedroom, doing whatever he needed to do in silence as to not disturb his brother. Figuring that Ichi wasn't going to sleep in a futon tonight, he only laid out two, lifting his head when Todomatsu opened the door.

"Hello, dear Totty," he smiled.

"Hi," Todomatsu whispered, and Kara went back to what he was doing.

The youngest brother sat down on the carpet, tugging at the collar of his dress. It choked him constantly, the elastic inside having been way too tight for his neck. His thumb gently grazed over a raw patch of skin, stinging when he made contact with it. Letting out a sigh, he removed his hat and tossed it next to him, grabbing the bottom part of the white shirt he wore and pulled it over his head, struggling with the collar, but finally taking it off; the pink longsleeve dress he wore under it was much more comfortable.

Kicking off his shoes, he lifted that dress over his head too, changing into pajamas. Karamatsu had already done so and sat on a chest that ran parallel to the wall, arms resting on the windowsill, peering outside.

"What are you doing?" Todo asked, walking over and bending down a little to try and see what he was looking at.

Kara didn't answer, mouth hanging open a bit as he concentrated on the stars.

Todo nudged him. "Huh?"

Lifting an arm, Kara placed his finger on the cold window. "Do you see that row of stars right there?"

Todo scowled; there were too many rows to be able to pinpoint the one he was looking at. "Uh, which one?"

"This one," Kara grabbed his brother's hand, freeing his index finger, and placed it directly below a set. "The one with the three stars right next to each other."

"Oh, yeah, I see it." Todo looked down at his big brother, puzzled. "That's Orion's Belt. You didn't know that?"

Karamatsu didn't answer his question, watching the set of stars carefully. He looked sullen.

"Do you think that maybe, that's the three of them?"

Silence for a minute. Todomatsu stirred uncomfortably, a stitch on the wound the three of them shared popping loose.

"Oso, Jyushi, and Choro...?"

"Yes." Karamatsu rested his chin on his fist. "Those three stars are the first thing I see whenever I gaze up into the heavens. I like to think that maybe they're just trying to get my attention so I know that while I can't see them, all three are still here."

When Todomatsu didn't respond, the rather loud sound of him swallowing was enough to get Kara to turn his head. Hot tears streamed down the youngest brother's face, arms pressed against his ribcage, lip quivering and heart aching. The seams had been torn open on their wound and it was now openly bleeding. Karamatsu instantly felt terrible.

"Todomatsu, I'm sorry," he smiled empathetically, putting an arm around his brother's shoulder and pulling him close. Todo rested his chin on Kara's shoulder, letting himself cry for a while. The dim light of the moon that shone through reflected dully off of the tears that caught in his eyes and rolled off his face, falling onto his older brother's shirt and leaving damp spots.

Shakily, Todo breathed, "I miss them."

Karamatsu nodded, hugging his brother tighter. "I know, Todomatsu," he sighed, "I miss them too."