Midsummer Madness, an alvin and the chipmunks fanfic

Another Shakespeare one-shot. No prizes for guessing which one.

_____________________________________________________________________

Alvin stood in the kitchen and stared in disbelief at the scene before him. Simon and Theodore were fighting each other on the stairs. Both were trying to get up while simultaneously pushing the other back down. Simon was hampered by Britany repeatedly clinging to him. He kept roughly pulling her off and shoving her none-too-gently away. In the living room Alvin could see Eleanor hunched up and crying. Jeanette had locked herself in the bathroom upstairs where she too was no doubt still crying. How could things have gone so horribly wrong?

"You big-headed jerk!"

"Over-acting drama queen!"

"Me? Me! I'm not the one who played Oberon as a fairy rock star!"

"That was just creative license! At least I didn't need two hours in make-up to look like the faded-in-the-wash fairy!"

"Titania is meant to be delicate! Something you'd know nothing about!"

The basement door flew open and Simon stormed out.

"What is going on up here?" Alvin and Britany glared at each other but said nothing. Jeanette followed them in through the front door they'd left open.

"Simon!" She blushed. "Alvin and Britany have just got back from their auditions."

"So I heard." He glared from one to the other. "Can't you stop fighting for one afternoon?" Alvin and Britany ignored him.

"Come on Jeanette. We're leaving."

"Oh, but I thought Simon could help me with my math homework?" She looked over to him. He continued to glare at his older brother.

"I can't. I've got to finish my formula that someone interrupted. Again." And so saying he disappeared back into the basement. Jeanette's shoulders sagged.

"What's he working on anyway?" Britany muttered.

"Whatever it is, he thinks more of it than me." Britany almost asked Alvin what it was but suddenly remembered they were fighting. He had a gleam in his eye that suggested he knew what it was, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of asking.

"Who cares anyway? It's just some dull science thing. Eleanor? Eleanor!" The girls looked around for their younger sister.

She was lost in her own little world with Theodore.

"Here. Taste this." He held out a spoon for her. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth.

"Eleanor!" Britany grabbed her arm and began to drag her out. "We are leaving."

"But…"

"We are not going to associate with these Seville brothers until they apologise!" She shouted the last word at Alvin before storming out the front door with her sisters in tow.

"But Britany! Theodore hasn't done anything wrong!"

"He's a Seville. I'd expect you to stand by your sisters and show some loyalty!" Eleanor crossed her arms and frowned. It was pointless to argue with Britany when she was in one of her moods but she was not going to be bossed around.

The next day dawned bright and clear, the longest day of the year. In more ways than one for the Chipmunks and Chipettes.

"Alvin. I'm going out. I need another ingredient for my antidote."

"OK, Simon." The tall chipmunk stood in front of the TV Alvin was watching. "Hey!"

"I want you to promise you won't go into my lab." Alvin was craning to see past him. "Alvin?"

"OK, OK."

"I mean it Alvin."

"Alright, I promise already! Now can you get out of the way?" Simon sighed but left. Alvin sat still until he heard the door shut. Cautiously he peered over his shoulder. As quietly as he could he snuck to the window and looked quickly out. There was his brother turning onto the road. Alvin grinned. He slipped into the hall and quickly scanned for Theodore. Nowhere in sight. Humming nonchalantly he meandered over to the basement door and opened it. Then he dashed quickly inside.

Theodore was in their shared bedroom, watching out the window. He'd ducked back when he saw Simon leaving but moments later he saw Eleanor hurrying up the road from the other direction. He hurried downstairs as quickly but as quietly as he could. He could hear the TV in the living room and tiptoed by the doorway so Alvin wouldn't notice. Gently he pulled open the front door and held a finger to his lips. Eleanor smiled at him and edged inside. Carefully he closed the door and gestured for her to follow him. Together they tiptoed back past the living room and up the stairs.

As Theodore shut the bedroom door, Alvin gently pushed open the basement door. He glanced round quickly to make sure the coast was clear then snuck back out. He held a test tube of clear golden liquid in one hand.

Grinning, he rushed to the kitchen phone and dialled the Chipette's number.

"Hey, Britany!" He frowned. "Hey! And I was just calling to apologise." He smiled as he listened. "Yeah. Look, why don't you come over? Now. So I can say sorry in person. Great!" He hung up and smiled. Soon, his problems with Britany would all be solved.

Alvin had set out two glasses on the table and poured orange juice in both. However in the one furthest from him he'd added a little potion from Simon's formula. He was now impatiently watching the clock. What was taking her so long?

"Oh! Hi Alvin." Theodore stood by the table looking nervous.

"Hey Theo. What're you up to?" Alvin's eyes went back to the clock. Did it really take her this long to put on her make-up? Unnoticed, Theodore shifted uneasily.

"I, uh… just came in for…" his eyes lit on the drinks on the table, "some juice!" He grabbed the glass and took a gulp. Alvin realised a moment too late what had happened.

At that exact moment the front door opened and Britany strode in followed by Jeanette. Alvin watched as Britany wandered into the living room. Theodore turned to see Jeanette hesitating in the hallway watching her sister.

"Oh!" Theodore absent-mindedly put his glass down and began to walk over to Jeanette.

"No!" Alvin jumped up and grabbed Theodore. Britany and Jeanette turned to look at them.

"There you are! Now, what did you want to say to me?" Britany smoothed her dress out with a smile.

"Can it wait a moment?" Alvin never realised how strong Theodore was.

"Wait? You told me to come over!"

"I know, but something's come up."

"You're hopeless Alvin." Britany frowned. "Fine. I'll come back later. But if you aren't ready by then…" She turned and stalked out. Jeanette made to follow her.

"Jeanette! Won't you stay?" The chipette turned, somewhat surprised by Theodore's outburst. She shrugged.

"If you want." Theodore pulled away from Alvin and ran up to Jeanette.

"Would you like a sandwich? Some cookies? I could bake you a cake?"

"That's really not necessary Theodore."

"Really! Anything you want. Do you want some juice?"

"No!" Alvin grabbed the glass out of Theodore's reach. "Why don't you two just sit and watch TV for a bit?" Jeanette frowned at Alvin.

"What are you up to Alvin?"

"Nothing." She didn't look convinced. "OK. I'm planning a surprise for Britany." Jeanette didn't look sure but Theodore grabbed her hand and began to pull her away.

"What do you want to watch? Will you sit by me?"

As they left Alvin hoped Theodore wouldn't do anything too stupid. With luck he could still salvage this.

Eleanor had sat in Theodore's room waiting for him but she was wondering where he was. It didn't take this long to get a couple of sandwiches. She decided to go find him. After all, Alvin and Simon wouldn't mind her being there. It was only in case they told Britany. But then, she reasoned, Britany was boycotting the Sevilles. As she wandered downstairs she could hear the television. She glanced in and was surprised to see Theo sitting with Jeanette.

"Jeanette!"

"Oh, you're here too?" The small chipette headed over to Theodore.

"How come you didn't come back up Theo?"

"Huh? Jeanette's here." She frowned, puzzled.

"I know, but why didn't you come back up." He frowned at her, apparently annoyed.

"Because Jeanette's here. Why would I want to sit with you?" Both sisters looked at him in surprise.

"But Theodore," Jeanette said, "you always sit with Eleanor."

"Not anymore." He stared up at her with wide adoring eyes. She backed off.

"OK. I get it. This is some trick of Alvin's right? Well enough is enough Theodore. It's not funny."

"Trick? No. Jeanette, it's no trick." He shuffled closer again.

"What did you do?" Eleanor demanded. Jeanette looked shocked as she almost fell back off the end of the sofa.

"Me? This must be some plan of Alvin's!"

"Theodore. Cut it out."

"Oh, go away Eleanor." Both sisters yelled at the same time.

"Alvinnn!" He ran into the doorway and his jaw dropped. Theodore was climbing over the end of the sofa to reach Jeanette while Eleanor kept pulling on his arm.

"Why's he acting like this, Alvin?" Eleanor was nearly in tears.

"If this is a trick, it isn't funny." Jeanette wasn't taking her eyes off Theodore as she held a cushion between them.

"I gotta find Simon." He muttered as he ran out the room.

"Good grief Alvin. Can't you survive without me for one hour?" Simon had just stepped through the front door. Alvin seized him and dragged him into the kitchen so he wouldn't see what was happening.

"Look Simon, it's like this," he began to pace. "You know how Britany always argues with me? And she never accepts I'm right? Well I thought of a way to fix that." He looked up at his brother only to see Simon with a glass of juice at his lips. Alvin dived under the table. He didn't know how the formula worked but he was taking no chances.

"What are you doing no-" He was cut off by Jeanette's scream.

"Get off me Theodore!" Seconds later she appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Alvin? Oh! Simon."

"Jeanette!" She knew at once something was wrong. Before she could speak though, Theodore seized her again.

"Don't leave me Jeanette!"

"Please get off me."

"You heard her." Simon stormed over. "Get off her!"

"Theodore," Eleanor's face was wet with tears now. "Please stop it."

"How can I stop loving someone?"

"Ha! You don't love her! You love Eleanor. So leave her alone!"

"I love her more than you ever could!"

"Theodore, I know this is some trick. Neither of you love me!" Jeanette had begun to cry as well.

"But I do!" Both brothers cried.

"But Theodore, you said you loved me only this morning!"

"Proof!" Simon grabbed Jeanette's hand. "His love is false." Theodore grabbed her other hand.

"No! I said that before I knew what love was! I love only you Jeanette!" This was too much for Eleanor who ran crying into the living room. Jeanette wrenched her hands free and fled up the stairs. The two brothers at once began squabbling. Alvin held his head in his hands. How could things possibly get worse?

Britany had waited as long as she was prepared to wait for Alvin. He had something up his sleeve and she wasn't sure whether it was good or bad. He could be really romantic sometimes, but more often than not he was a jerk.

She let herself into the Seville house. They all seemed busy. Even Eleanor was here. She saw her run in apparent distress into the living room, followed by Jeanette similarly running upstairs. As she walked into the kitchen she heard a door slam. She'd have to warn Jeanette about over-acting. Eleanor had been quite convincing though. The two younger Seville brothers took no notice of her as they focussed on their stage battle. She watched for a moment.

"So what are you guys rehearsing? Are you auditioning for A Midsummer Night's Dream too?" As soon as Alvin heard her voice he began to wriggle out from under the table. When he stood upright, he was relieved to see she was just holding the glass. Then he noticed her eyes. She was staring at one of his brothers. His heart sank. Simon and Theodore were just pushing and pulling each other out the doorway.

"Oh, Simon!" Britany positively danced across the floor.

Then his eyes fell on the bag Simon had been carrying when he came in. What had he said earlier? I need another ingredient for my antidote. Antidote! Quickly he grabbed the bag and ran for the basement. He almost fell down the stairs and stared wildly about when he got down. There was the formula but where was the antidote? He almost didn't see it, hidden by tubes and equipment. He hoped all he had to do was mix this stuff in. The mixture turned bright orange. Praying that meant it had worked, he barrelled back upstairs.

Britany was frustrated. Why didn't he look at her? Wasn't she pretty enough? She initially ignored Alvin when he offered her a drink. How could she think of drinking when she was this close to Simon?

"It'll make you irresistible." Her head spun round and she seized the glass. She took a gulp and immediately felt dizzy.

"Oh!" She leant back against the wall. Alvin leapt passed her and quickly grabbed Theodore.

"Here, an energy drink!"

"Thanks." He quickly took a drink before turning back to tackle Simon. Immediately though there was a loud gurgle from his stomach and he sat down heavily. Alvin ran to catch Simon who'd made it to the top of the stairs. He didn't bother talking (he was out of breath anyway) and simply grabbed Simon's nose. He instinctively opened his mouth and Alvin poured the antidote in, quickly closing his mouth so he'd swallow. The eldest chipmunk watched his brother carefully as his eyes stared at nothing. Then he groaned.

"I think I'm gonna faint." Alvin looked back to see Britany waving backwards and forwards. He hopped on the banister and slid downstairs in time to catch her as she slumped.

"Alvin? What happened?"

"I'll explain later. You should take it easy a bit. Why don't we get some fresh air?" She smiled at him.

"Aw Alvin. You're so sweet sometimes." He led her outside.

Theodore looked at Simon who was standing dumbly on the landing.

"Were we fighting?" Simon turned his head slowly to look at him.

"Yes Theo, we were."

"Why?" Simon rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Because of a potion. My potion." Theodore continued to look at him. "You should go see to Eleanor." Theodore nodded and began to head downstairs. "I have to explain to Jeanette." He went up to the bathroom door and hesitated. He could hear her crying. With a sigh he knocked.

"Go away!"

"Jeanette, I'm sorry. All that… downstairs… was the effect of a potion." She didn't reply. "Alvin put it in the drink." Simon had realised in the few seconds after the effect wore off just what had happened. "It affected Theodore, and Britany… and me." She remained silent. He sat on the floor and leaned against the door frame. He didn't know what to say. He began to talk into the air.

"It was actually quite difficult to get the formula right, you know. The chemical balances in the brain are so delicate that I had to get the amounts just right. Then there were the calculations to make sure it would work on the majority of people since the relative balances of chemicals differ in everyone. I couldn't risk it doing any damage so I calculated the minimums and maximums, and took averages, and then as a precaution I worked out the effects on a random sample of chemical make-ups. The antidote was actually quite simple. Just a concoction to clear the excess chemicals." It was still silent. He mentally calculated how long she could stay in there crying before she ran out of toilet tissue.

"That's a lot of trouble, just for a trick." Her voice was quiet but sounded very close. He guessed she was leaning on the other side of the door.

"I didn't make it so Alvin could use it in one of his tricks."

"Why did you make it then?" He opened his mouth but nothing came out. How could he tell her the truth? That he'd made it so she would like him?

"You know, everyone thinks of me as boring. The science geek. I just wanted someone to love me." He heard her sigh.

"You are loved Simon."

"I was thinking of someone other than my family."

"So was I." He held his breath. Did that mean what he thought it meant? What he hoped it meant? "But Simon, if you want someone to love you, you should spend time with them, not hide away in your lab."

"I didn't think… anyone would like me for me."

"I know the feeling." He steeled himself.

"I like you Jeanette."

"Thank you Simon." He could almost see her sad smile.

"No. I mean, I really like you Jeanette." She didn't say anything. He rushed on. "The reason I made the potion? I wanted you to like me as much as I liked you. I couldn't bear to spend time with you when I had all these feelings for you and you didn't have them for me." He waited desperately hoping she wouldn't laugh.

"I did have feelings for you." It was barely a whisper but his attentive ear caught every syllable.

"Did?" Seconds stretched to infinity as he awaited her response. Then he heard the lock click. Quickly he stood up to face her. She looked red and dishevelled.

"Do. I do have feelings for you." In his eyes she'd never looked more beautiful than when she returned his smile and her shining eyes met his. He held out his hand and led her out of her prison.