So. There they were.
Roy was actually wearing silk, a button down in a dark green. Ed was sure it was the first time he'd seen Roy in something other than monochrome or military blue. He was doing that stupid slicked back hair thing, though, which he thought made him look ten times more like an arrogant asshole than his normal appearance. At Al's insistence, Ed had worn actual dress slacks instead of his cargos and a button down shirt that didn't look like he'd just pulled it out of a pile. It had been so long since he'd worn something that nice that it had just been hanging in his closet, nearly forgotten. Red, of course. It was his best color after all. As he sat across from his former superior officer, he thought all of his effort not to look and feel as comfortable as possible were wasted. If the glare Roy was leveling back at him was any indication, the emotion was equivalent.
"I'm waiting for someone, Fullmetal, so as much as I'd love for you to stay and chit chat, now is not the time."
"First of all, stop calling me that. Secondly, this was the table I was shown to, you asshole, so maybe if y'got a problem with that, you should take it up with the staff."
Roy did just that, barely remembering to utter an 'excuse me' because why bother with politeness when it was clear Ed wouldn't make the effort, but apparently he still wanted to show off. It made the younger man roll his eyes, and he crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair just enough the front legs lifted off the ground. A few moments later, he returned with the pretty lady who had seated them, who looked at them with no shortage of mirth in her eyes.
"Miss, would you kindly tell him what you just told me?"
The front of Ed's chair came down, and he straightened to give them his full attention. Roy looked pissed, and that was one of his favorite expressions on the man. This was going to be good.
At Ed's eagerness, the hostess swallowed back a giggle and folded her hands in front of her. "Your reservations were made by a third party. I was told if Mr. Mustang showed up second, to show him to Mr. Elric's table, and if Mr. Elric showed up second, to direct him to Mr. Mustang's table. Unless I am mistaken, you are each who the other is supposed to be meeting."
Ed took a moment to pick his jaw up off the floor, and now his expression wasn't that far off from Roy's, whether he realized it or not. "Are you fu-"
"Edward," Roy rumbled in warning, reminding him where they were.
The blond shot a glare in his direction that would peel paint, then turned his best smile back up at the hostess. "You're kidding, right? Someone set this up?"
"Were you told you were going on a blind date?" she asked helpfully.
Slowly, as if it were a horrific fate to realize, the two men slowly turned their heads to look at one another, because 'blind date' was indeed the phrasing that was used. Against his will, heat started to creep into his face, and he knew his skin was turning red. The bastard meeting his gaze looked cold as ice, but Ed knew the flare in his dark eyes well. Usually he was the cause of it, and now he was indirectly the cause of it. Someone else was gonna get it bad.
"Hawkeye," Roy growled.
"Alphonse."
The hostess continued to smile helpfully. "Should I seat one of you gentleman elsewhere?"
"Yes, that would be-"
"No, miss, that's all right," Ed cut in, ignoring the way Roy's eyes widened slightly. "Our table will be just fine. We have some planning to do. Have a seat, Mustang. I hope you know I can eat a lot of food."
"Who said I would be paying?"
"You didn't plan to come on a blind date with someone special and expect to split the bill, did you?"
"Wh-what about you?" Roy sputtered as he sat down, finally rising to the bait. "Were you going to let your date pay?"
"Well, I guess that depends on how much you contribute."
"To what?"
"Our revenge."