A/N: yeah I know, yet another story. But this isn't just any story. This is the overly used cliché after mocking jay, before epilogue. LOL well I hope you like it, and there is a mass update on the way, so don't fear, I'm hoping to post a chapter of everything by this weekend.
I'm not the genius that wrote the Hunger Games
Chapter One: Hero
Katniss Point of View
It had been three days since I last did anything. Three days since I ate, went hunting, or saw anyone. I preferred just laying here, in the bottom of my closet wrapped in a safe cocoon. No one could touch me. No one could hear me. And most importantly, no one could harm me. I was finally safe. I usually slept, waking up in a panic from my latest night mare.
It was in front of President Snow's mansion. Gale was beside me. There was the blockade of children. Then came the flash of blonde hair. I knew instantly who it was. Prim. Then came the explosions, and Gale grabbed me, laughing as I struggled against his grip. He took my neck, and flung me into the fire. Right next me lay my beautiful sister's charred remains. I tried to scream, but I only ended up choking on smoke. I was burning. The girl on fire burning to her own death, yet I wouldn't die. The pain seemed excruciating. Yet death refused to take me, like it took my sister. Someone pulled me up, and out of the flames, just in time. My throat was in too much pain that I didn't want to breathe. As the person carried me through the flames, I realized how many people they could have helped, would have been easier to get to. Innocent children that deserved to live so much more than I did. Why did they decide to save me instead? Why did they save the most deserving to die?
There was suddenly a loud banging noise on my door, waking me up. My face was soaked from crying. I had to get out of here. I felt like I was suffocating. I started to claw my way out, screaming in frustration. There was a loud creak as someone pulled open the closet door. I could dimly see the light through all of the layers of clothes wrapped around me. Someone yanked the covering off of me, finally allowing me to breathe. A hero saving me just in time. I looked up into his blue eyes and let out a sigh. After everything he still had to try and be my hero. He offered me his hand, trying to help me up. But I didn't need a hero, right? I brushed it off and slowly brought myself up on my own, weakly since I had barely used my legs for days.
"Katniss are you okay?" he asked quietly. No, I wasn't I was struggling to stand up straight, to stand on my own two feet, but I didn't need a hero.
"Yes." One word it's the most I've said to him or anyone in months. My reply didn't satisfy him; he still held his intent gaze on me. I hated it and no longer found the effort to meet it. I dropped my eyes down to our feet. Mine were hurting already, bare and cracked. My toe nails were the complete opposite of my finger nails that were now barely visible. He actually had on shoes. Boots covered by his pant legs. He looked better than the broken boy I met in District 13. He almost looked like the boy with the bread. Except, I knew he was not a boy anymore.
"Have you been eating?" he asked only slightly more confident in his words this time. As if not fully trusting his voice not to betray him. I only nodded. I knew words would be betray me, break me down. I met his eyes again. They looked pained and I was the one to blame for it. Everything in his life ever gone wrong was because of me. I don't need a hero.
"I'm fine," I whispered, trying to walkout of the room. I had to get out of here. Just another human's presence seemed suffocating. Especially his. As I brushed past him to get my hunting hear. I suddenly needed open space, I felt like I was drowning and once I was out there I could think clearly. He grabbed my hand. I stiffened in shock, but didn't turn around. If I looked at him, I would break down again.
"You need to eat," Is all he said before he let me go. I ran downstairs and out the back door. I tore through Victor's Village and made my way to the meadow. My legs were tired, and I was breathing heavily. Dropping and just letting the ground take me seemed so good just then. Giving up. It would be so easy. The forest. I thought, just need to get to the tree line. I dragged myself slowly into the treeline, only then, finally letting my body collapse.
Peace. No cocoons, no darkness, no suffocation, or hiding. I could almost forget everything that ever happened. Almost. Then suddenly all the memories came rushing at me. All the pain and suffering that I have caused came crashing down on me, and didn't let me up. It was all my fault.
It was my fault that mom was gone.
It was my fault that Gale can't look at me, let alone live in the same district as me.
It was my fault that Darius is an Avox.
It was my fault that Peeta now only has one leg.
It was my fault that He's changed.
It was my fault that he's stuck with me.
It was my fault that he got high jacked.
It was my fault that Annie's baby will never have a father.
It was my fault that is alone.
And it was my fault that Prim is dead.
Yes, it was my fault my own sister was dead. That she will never come back. That she will never fall in love, and get married, or have kids. These morbid thoughts lulled me into an almost dreamless sleep. The only dream I had was strong, comfortable, and familiar arms carrying me home and tucking me in. It felt so good. I didn't deserve it. But then again, maybe I did need a hero.