Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or All Dogs Go To Heaven
AN: Random, random, random.
Let Me Be Surprised.
Sirius opened his eyes, expecting to see either the room from the Department of Mysteries or his room at Grimmauld Place. Instead, his eyes met with the sight of tall, white pillars and swirling clouds of mist. "Where am I?"
"This is the Great Hall of Judgement."
"Judgement," he squaked, eyeing the woman before him.
"Oh, not to worry Sirius, you'll go to heaven. Your animagus form was a dog, and all dogs go to heaven because they're naturally good and loyal and kind."
"Yeah, I guess that's true."
"Welcome to doing whatever you wish," came her sing-song voice.
"This is a really lovely place you got here," he said, taking a good look at his surroundings.
"Eating whatever you please. Follow me," she said, floating away. "To a constant different climate, we keep it seventy-three degrees. We're still on Farenheit here."
"That's fine with me," Sirius said, trying to keep up.
"Welcom to..."
"Oh, boy," he said, eyeing the long flight of stairs.
"to order and calming state."
"Ah, great," panting, he reached the top.
"Welcome," she twirled onto a pedestal, "to being dead."
"What?" Sirius' head shot up. "You mean I'm...I'm..."
"Stone cold I'm afraid."
"I can't believe it," shocked at her cheerful, giddy way of saying those words. Shaking his head, he continued, "I've been murdered!"
"Hm...I'm having a little trouble finding any goodness or loyalty here, but let me see," she continued flipping through the pages of a thick tome.
"He killed me!"
"I beg your pardon," the angel asked without pausing.
"There's been a mistake made here," he shouted. "I don't want to die, you've got the wrong guy. I was double crossed by a dirty rat. Actually this rat was a man, and this bitch cursed me down. I just blew out of jail, I just got back into town. Hey, this is hard to explain, may I speak with your Superior? 'Cause I don't want to die!"
"Welcome to doing whatever you wish," she sang, seemingly pleased with her findings.
"You got the wrong guy."
"Laughing and singing all day!"
"Hey," Sirius tried getting her attention. "My time's not up yet!"
"Oh, but it is. There's no mistake about that. We know everything."
Sirius' mind supplied him with a very disturbing mental image of Professor Trelawny. "Murdered in the prime of life! Damn that Peter, should've killed him," he muttered.
She said nothing, but grabbed his arm and led him down a hallway.
"This must be the watch department, huh," he asked, noticing the scenery had changed.
"Well, you might call it that," she said, while reaching for a watch up on a shelf. "You see, this watch is your life. And it stopped."
"Well, can't you just wind it up or something," Sirius questioned, reaching for it.
"And send you back? Oh, no no no no, no one's ever allowed to go back. Just put your hand right here," she said, replacing the watch and shoving a book out to Sirius.
"What's that for?"
"It's for the Book of Records. You see, everything about you that was or will be is right here."
"Isn't that wonderful. I love it here," he sneered. "You mean there's no surprises or anything?"
"Oh, no no no no. We know everything," she grabbed his hand, dipped in in ink, and pressed it onto a page.
"That's just lovely," he shook the excess ink off his hand. Breathing deeply, he looked around again. "The clouds, the grass, the air..."
"Heaven is a wonderful place."
"Yeah," he drawled. "So, no surprises, huh?" Sirius looked back towards the hallway with the watches. That mischievious glint came to his eyes as he began devising a plan. "Say, would you like to dance," he asked, steeling behind the angel and sweeping her into a waltz.
They dance around before he spoke again. "So, you mean that if I'm waiting for an inside advance, strait up here I'd know in advance whether or not I got it?"
"Oh, yes. We know how it all turns out."
Sirius did his best to banishing the thoughts of Trelawny. "You must have studied dancing. You have a natural rhythm."
"Ah, I'm getting dizzy," she squealed as Sirius spun her around.
"Everything is so lovely here. So planned, so ordered. And that's what's driving me crazy," he said, dipping her. "I need Brazil, the throb, the thrill. I've never been there, but someday I will! Adventure and danger, love from a stranger. Let me be surprised!"
The pace of the dance sped up as he continued to sing. "Today the sun, they said there'd be snow. When all said and done, it's fun not to know! What keep my heart humming is guessing what's coming. Let me be surprised!"
The angel giggled as she pushed herself out of his grasped. Sirius decided to turn the charm up a notch. "Oh, aint it great, when fate let's you wait. The world seems merthless, you feel worthless, and suddenly there's a big bone on your plate!"
"Oh, Sirius, please remember down there's a world of used cars and singles bars. Broken dreams and not every star!"
"But life isn't over, not for this rover. I don't like to steal," he knicked the watch as she turned away, "but I don't like this deal."
She turned around. Giggling, she began twirling her way towards him. Smiling, Sirius dodge her and leapt way.
"In about three seconds, she will have realized," he muttered, beginning to wind the watch, "And she's gonna be..."
"Sirus, what are you doing?" She was confused by the change in their game.
"Wait'll you see."
"What's that behind your back," she asked, drawing near.
"She's gonna be..."
Realization hit her. "Sirius! Don't wind that watch!"
"SURPRISED," he shouted as the watch began ticking again.
"SIRIUS," she yelled as he disappeared in a flash of light. When it died down, she looked at the spot he had previously been standing in. Laughing softly, she summoned the book Sirius' hand had stamped. Fingers ghosted over the hand print as she smiled to herself, "We know everything."