There is a Light that Never Goes Out
A/N: Now before you go any further, I would like to inform you that this is a repost of my one shot that was deleted by the site. I had no plans of bringing it back up, believing it has served its purpose but then I heard this radio show on BBC Radio 4 entitled Soul Tunes, and they featured this song and how it touched people's lives. And I just realized that I had to put this story up again. I wrote this story at a darker time of my life, and even though admittedly, I didn't really have a "Robin" to serve as my light, I think this story represented that hope inside me. That no matter how bad things get, I will always have that light that never goes out. And hopefully when you read this story, (or read it again), it will give you that same feeling.
So for new readers, enjoy. And for those who have read this before, I'm sorry for wasting your time. :(
(P.S. Fanfiction gods, I have properly cited the lyrics here in APA format so please don't delete this story again. Academically, I can use them 'cause they're properly cited : ) )
There is a Light that Never Goes Out
"Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore"
Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and I
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their
Home, and I'm welcome no more
Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh God, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and I
Just couldn't ask)
Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one,
Oh, I haven't got one
- The Smiths, There is a Light that Never Goes Out
Titans Tower was eerily quiet that night. The halls that were filled with so much noise and laughter were unusually still. The common room which was home to daily tofu-meat battles and Gamestation wars had no movement in them.
Until there was the swishing of doors to reveal the resident empath of the Tower. Her dark cloak swayed with her as she made her way to the kitchen counter to make her usual tea. She moved wordlessly through the kitchen, reveling in the silence that surrounded her.
Suddenly, it was disrupted by a deep, masculine voice. "What are you doing here?"
She turned around to see the Boy Wonder staring at her through masked eyes.
Well, she had to admit, it was a welcomed disturbance.
"What else could I be doing with a tea kettle and a mug?" she replied sarcastically with a miniscule smirk on her face.
Robin shook his head. "No, I mean, what are you doing here in the tower? Everyone left for that party downtown."
"And why aren't you with them?"
"I just came back from patrol. Someone still has to watch the city, you know. Especially since there were rumors that the Brotherhood of Evil was in Jump. Well, one of them at least."
"Do you know who it is?" she asked with genuine worry in her tone.
"No. But if they're in the city, I'm going to find out for sure." he replied with such determination and rigor that only he could have.
A weak smile danced on her lips, a silent demonstration of her admiration for her leader. Ever since he had saved her from the depths of hell during the prophecy, she couldn't help but be in awe of the hope and determination he had. She always believed that it was the only thing that kept the whole team together, despite everything that they have been through. Even in the face of an apocalypse, he still believed that they could make it.
And they did, which was the most amazing part of it all.
"So what's for dinner?" he asked innocently, disrupting Raven's train of thought.
"Uhh... Nothing?"
Robin ogled her for a bit before heading straight for the refrigerator. True enough, there wasn't anything edible inside, save for blue molds that were starting to come to life, and a pizza carton that had probably spent a month there.
"O...kay. Guess we'd better head out to dinner then." he said with a smile as he closed the refrigerator door and turned to face her.
"You go. I'm not really hungry."
His face turned into a frown instantly. "But you skipped lunch already. You've barely eaten all day."
"I'm sorry, I get too engrossed in meditation sometimes." was all she could say.
"Well as your leader, I demand that you go out with me to dinner." A boyish grin danced on his lips as he brought out the leader card.
"You make it sound like a date." Her witty banter never seemed to miss a beat.
Recognizing a challenge when he saw one, he drew closer to Raven and stopped right at her ear. His voice was low and enticing as he whispered, "Call it what you want, Raven. But you are going out to dinner with me tonight."
Raven held on for her dear life as the R-cycle swerved through the city streets of Jump. Robin had insisted that the restaurant he wanted to take her to was a surprise, so she had to ride with him instead of flying there. She had no idea how he got her to agree to such madness. It was probably due to the fact that she had no idea where to eat in Jump City, except for the Pizza Palace that they would go to after successful missions. Her arms tightened around his waist as they drove through traffic at such a fast speed. Her head found shelter in the warmth of his back as she buried it there. Robin had a mischievous grin plastered on his face as he finally slowed down, bringing them just a block away from the restaurant. Before Raven had even realized it, her leader had already parked his R-cycle on the side of the street. He took his helmet off and glanced back at Raven, who still hadn't moved from her previous position, as if they haven't stopped yet.
"Raven, we're here now." he finally informed her, amusement coloring his voice.
She shot her head up, instantly letting go of her leader as she heard his words. He could see her face colored with the brightest shade of pink before she covered it with her hood. Robin still had his mischievous grin on his face as he mounted off his motorcycle, with Raven following soon after.
She walked toward the sidewalk, without even a glance toward the Boy Wonder.
"Are you mad at me?" he teased, following shortly after her.
She looked back at him only to shoot him a deadly glare. "Do that again, and I will send you to the ninth circle of hell."
He put up his arms defensively. "Hey, it's not my fault you can't handle my speed."
"You are such a cocky dick, you know that?"
"Wow, you called me by my nickname." he teased.
She was surprised with his reply. She wasn't sure if he had noticed it, but he had just somewhat revealed his real name to her, one of his most guarded secrets. Did he do that intentionally, or was it just a slip of tongue? Did he really trust her that much to tell her his real name?
She stared blankly at him for a moment, still in awe at his sudden revelation. Robin, on the other hand, simply gave her a confused look, puzzled at her actions.
"Uh.. do I have something on my face?" he asked, snapping her out of her reverie.
She once again became aware of her surroundings, as a light blush crept up her cheeks. She quickly pulled up her hood to prevent herself from being embarrassed any further.
"Where is this restaurant you're taking me to anyway? It's getting late." she said in her signature monotone.
Robin just shook his head, and with a playful grin dancing on his lips, he took her hand and led her to the restaurant.
"You know, if you wanted to get started on our date, all you had to do was ask."
"Your idea of a surprise was to bring me to a five-star hotel?" Raven asked in disbelief.
"It's nothing, really. You'd be surprised at how much the city's willing to do to take care of us."
Robin replied with his signature smile on his lips, avoiding the fact that the table was something he and his foster father shared.
"And we're in our uniforms! Don't you think we're going to attract too much attention?"
"Nah, our table's pretty secluded. Plus, I don't think a bunch of rich snobs would even pay us any mind out here."
Still holding her hand, he led her to the edge of the hotel bar to a secluded booth. It had two large leather chairs in cream, and a plain white table in the middle. On top of it was the sign "RESERVED", which made Raven raise an eyebrow upon seeing it.
"You planned this all along, didn't you?" she accused the Boy Wonder as they stood beside the table.
He just shrugged and said "This table is always reserved for me. I just don't use it that much." It was in fact for Bruce and himself, but neither of them used the reserved table.
Except on special occasions.
"So if ever we run out of food at the Tower, you can just go straight to a five-star hotel?"
"Yup. As long as I have someone to share it with. You can imagine how depressing it is to eat alone."
"And I just happened to be the lucky girl who was free tonight?" she asked as she finally sat across her leader.
"No. I'm the lucky one." He gave her the most gorgeous smile that he could muster, which would've made any girl melt at the sight of it.
Raven however simply had her mouth open, as if ready to ask something when the waiter came to their table to deliver the first course.
For the most part, they talked to each other just as good friends would. Their witty banter never seemed to leave them, even as the different meal courses came. They talked about anything under the sun- from memorable missions to their own personal preferences. It was always special when they got to talk like that. Both of the birds knew that they felt the most comfortable around each other. Whether it was due to their bond, or just their personalities complementing each other, it was a feeling they welcomed when they enjoyed each other's presence.
As dessert finally came, the waiter placed two banana splits in front of them and turned to leave the birds.
"So.." Robin began, his eye having that mischievous gleam in them.
Raven eyed him curiously, wondering what was going through his mind as she took the first scoop of ice cream in her mouth.
"...have you been enjoying this night so far?"
Raven's lips moved up into a smile; a rare sight to behold when it came to the empath as she replied, "It's been great, actually. Except for that death-defying bike ride."
He let out a laugh that echoed through the pristine restaurant, but he didn't seem to care. "Like I said, you're just not used to my speed." His lips formed into that boyish grin once again, as if he were teasing her.
"Which is strange since I fly all the time." she said, as if she were musing on something.
"Well that's because those are two different things." He still wore his charming smile, thoroughly amused by her.
She had a strange look on her face as she urged him to explain further.
"Even if flying and driving really fast are both done at exceptionally high speeds, they're still two different things. You don't get the same rush when you're flying... well because you were riding right behind me. You didn't have much control as you would've wanted. You never know, I might drive us over a bridge."
"Yeah, but if you'd do that, then it would have been for a hell of a good reason."
It was his turn to have a puzzling look on his face; he was at a loss at what she meant.
"I mean, if you do drive us over a bridge, it's not because you want to kill us. You'd have a pretty good reason why, and somehow, we'd still survive."
"So you trust me that much?" he asked seriously, hoping that he wouldn't push her too much with his blunt question.
"Of course. I can't count how many times you've saved my life already. If you went through hell for me, I'd do the same for you." was her no-nonsense reply.
His lips turned into an all-out grin at what he heard. After everything that they have gone through together, he was proud to hear that his teammate, his best friend trusted him with her life. Or was she just his best friend? The warm feeling in his chest seemed to tell him otherwise.
Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something else, the communicator in his pocket rang. He took it out and his face suddenly turned serious.
"What's wrong?" she asked instantly.
"I was right. Someone from the Brotherhood of Evil is here. And she just stole a microchip from S.T.A.R. Labs." he replied as he stood up.
She stood up as well and followed Robin toward the exit. "Madame Rouge?" she asked.
"Yeah. She just fled from the scene. We can still intercept her from our location." He exited the hotel quickly and jumped on the R-Cycle, determined to catch the villain at all costs.
"I'll be behind you from the skies. You'd better tell the others. We can't face her alone."
"Got it. Just follow me." He wore his helmet and revved the engine to life, speeding away in the streets of Jump.
She just shook her head as she flew right beside him. 'You know I'd follow you to the depths of hell, right Boy Blunder?"
They finally caught sight of Madame Rouge. She was inside a white van with two henchmen inside. They tried to shoot at the R-cycle but Raven simply put up a shield to protect him. They sped past the other cars, disrupting traffic along the streets of Jump. They knew they needed a plan soon, before any more civilians were endangered.
"Raven," Robin spoke through their communicators, "there's a tunnel up ahead. The police are closing it off right now. All we have to do is to lead her through it, and beat her there."
"Can we beat her by ourselves? Where are the others?" she replied worriedly.
"They're still about twenty minutes out. We have to hold her off 'til then. Don't worry, Raven. We stopped an apocalypse before. We can face anything."
She shook her head, fighting off the smile that was forming on her lips. She couldn't believe the faith that he had sometimes. But she knew it was what kept them going despite of everything. Even with her own doubts, he had enough faith and courage in himself to believe for the both of them.
They finally reached the tunnel, with Madame Rouge just a few meters from them. Raven decided to fly low as Robin raced through the road, quickly catching up with their enemy. Before long, their truck suddenly stopped and turned the van around when they saw the hordes of police cars waiting for them at the end of the tunnel.
"I think I can take a good number of her men out if I crash the R-Cycle there." Robin said in a breath as they neared the exit at insane speeds.
"Robin, are you crazy?! Get out of there right now!" Raven screamed through her communicator as they were inching closer to their target.
The Boy Wonder paid her no mind as he saw the henchmen slowly inching out of the van with Madame Rouge. At the very last moment, he jumped off the R-cycle, leaving it to crash into the Brotherhood's van. The explosion came instantly, destroying most of the van in its wake. But that also spelled danger from Robin, who was too close to the blast. Everything was happening so fast. With one deafening boom, debris from the cars came flying around them. But a red arm stood out above the rest with a burning iron rod in hand. With the target in sight, Madame Rouge used this to impale Robin's leg. Blood was pouring out from his large wound as he came crashing through the ground. Raven yelled his name as she knelt down beside him, ready to take a look at his wound.
But before she could even begin to heal him, bullets were suddenly fired towards them. Raven instantly put up a shield before any of the bullets could hurt them.
"Oh, you're not getting out of this alive, Titans" Madame Rouge said with her thick accent. She came out from the flames surrounding their van, not even wondering if the henchmen who were with her were still alive.
"Shut. Up." Raven spat as she put down her shield and stood in front of Robin, protecting him in his injured state.
"Raven! Stand down! You can't face her on your own!" Robin shouted out, as he tried to move but his face was instantly etched in pain when he tried to do so. He looked toward his leg again and marveled at the blood loss. He had to do something now before he bled to death. Using his hands, he started applying pressure on his wound and started praying for a miracle before they both died there.
Raven stood her ground, eyeing the supervillain carefully. She only had one goal in her mind: protect Robin at all costs. Even if it meant that he was the only one coming out of here alive.
Madame Rouge saw her weakness and easily thought to exploit it. She plunged both of her hands forward, ready to attack Robin with all her might. Raven saw this too and blocked her attack easily with just a whip of her energy. That was when she realized that being trapped in that tunnel; she only had a few things to throw toward her direction. Which meant that she had to finish this battle soon. Or else.
Chanting her mantra, she flung a multitude of bricks from the tunnel toward Madame Rouge. Though with much difficulty, she evaded the bricks and deflected some with her arm. She threw a punch and it collided with Raven's face, sending her flying through the wall.
She slowly got up and saw Madame Rouge stalking over toward Robin. Her breath got caught in her chest as she willed her legs to move up from their spot. In a fit of rage, she lifted the smoldering remains of the van with her powers and threw it at the villain. That would have been enough to defeat her if she hadn't dodged the burning projectile. Raven cursed under her breath as she ran toward Robin, checking if he was alright.
She looked toward her leader and was glad that he was alright. But his voice, shouting out her name wildly caught her attention.
She was too focused on Robin to see that Madame Rouge's arm was inches away from her stomach, holding a burning rod just like what she had used with Robin. Before she could react, she felt her side being pierced by a smoldering hot object. Pain shot out from her side like a bullet, her face twisting as a reaction to it.
Despite the overwhelming hurt that she felt, her brain still found a way to end this once and for all.
She clutched on Madame Rouge's arm and started chanting out a spell, her magic crawling over the villain's trapped appendage.
"Wha-what is she doing?" she cried out in fear as her whole body was covered in her dark aura.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" she finally exclaimed as Madame Rouge was frozen in her place, a dark aura of magic enveloping her entire body.
Raven winced as she pulled out the piercing metal from her side and slowly stumbled toward her leader. Robin still faced Madame Rouge's imprisoned form, in awe of the power that Raven held. He was amazed at how she single handedly defeated one of the most powerful villains they had ever faced.
Because of his amazement, he didn't notice her plopping down beside him and starting to heal his leg, until he felt the warm sensation of her healing powers enveloping his wound. He looked back at her in shock, grabbing her hand roughly. "What do you think you're doing?" he shouted out, appalled at Raven's actions.
"What's it look like, Boy Blunder? I'm healing you." was all she said as blue light continued to emanate from her hand and into his wound.
"What are you talking about? You haven't even started healing yourself yet!" He yanked her arm from his leg and placed it on her bleeding stomach, allowing the blue light to cover her large injury.
She took her hand from his grasp as she spat out, "I can heal myself, Robin. Don't worry about me."
Robin cast his head down, knowing that there was no way he was going to win over the empath. If there was one thing that he hated about Raven, it was that they were both extremely stubborn to a fault. It was only then he realized that he didn't feel any pain from his leg anymore. It was tender, but it didn't hurt like it did just moments ago. His eyes widened behind his mask when he saw that he stopped her too late. He gazed at his leg, almost completely healed, while Raven was still clutching her injury.
"Damnit Raven! Why did you have to heal me first?" he said exasperatedly as he started to get up from the ground.
"What do you think you're doing? Your leg isn't fully healed yet!" she said, matching his own tone.
"Well how do you suppose we'll get out of here?" He pulled her up from the ground and tried to carry her in his arms, but he couldn't support both their weight from his recent injury. He stumbled even before they could take a single step.
"I told you your leg isn't okay yet!" She tried to pull away from his grasp to right her up, but his grip was too strong. He simply set her down and placed an arm around his shoulder, still shouldering most of her weight.
"Can't you call for Cyborg to pick us up? We have to walk all the way to the entrance since that damned burning van is blocking this side." She gestured to the burning inferno behind them, telling him that they couldn't go for the shorter route.
He pulled out his communicator but he already knew that it would be useless. "I've been trying to contact them ever since your fight with Madame Rouge started. I think the tunnel's blocking our signal. I haven't been able to contact them." He brought it back to his utility belt and began sauntering toward the exit, knowing that it would be a good fifteen minutes until they reached it.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he began walking, almost carrying her with him as he placed an arm over her-still bleeding – wound. He applied pressure to it, trying his best to staunch the blood flow. They walked past Madame Rouge's frozen state, and he was once again in awe of Raven's skilled prowess.
"How did you do that?" he asked innocently.
"It was a sort of containment spell that I had. She'll be frozen for about an hour, which will be enough time for the police to get here and put her in jail. This was the first time I used the spell since it takes a lot of energy to do it." she replied nonchalantly, missing Robin's scowl as she did.
"So you were already weak when you healed me?" his voice raised a notch, remembering their previous argument.
"What does it matter, Robin? You're safe, that's what's important." She replied tiredly, feeling her strength leave her quickly as well.
"But you're dying!" he shouted out, frustration mixed with desperation coloring his tone. "Do you know how much it eats at me to see you in so much pain while I'm perfectly fine?"
"You're not-" she stopped herself, knowing that she shouldn't waste any more energy into this circular argument. "It doesn't matter if I die here or not, all that matters is that you're safe."
She said it almost above a whisper, but her words clearly echoed in Robin's mind. Did she really believe that? Did she really put his life above hers? He couldn't speak after that. He was too dumbstruck to even think of something coherent to say to her. His mind worked on overtime, trying to find some rhyme or reason in what she had just said.
Their silence stretched on to what seemed like forever. Raven was quite thankful for it, knowing that she didn't have enough energy in her body to continue her argument with her leader. But she did wonder what made him shut up all of a sudden. She gazed up at him as she hung limply from his shoulder, his brow creased, seemingly in deep thought. She had meant what she said earlier. She truly believed that it didn't matter what happened to her, as long as he was safe. He was the hope that kept her going, even after her prophecy had past. In the worst situations, he made her believe that everything would be alright. No matter how bad things were, he trusted that they would succeed one way or the other. It was then that she knew that even in the darkest of times, even when all hope was lost, he was the light that will never go out.
And she knew that she had to do everything in her power to protect that light.
"You're wondering..." she suddenly said, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them. "..About what I said earlier, right?"
He gazed at her in disbelief, wondering how she knew what he was thinking. But he still nodded, curious as to where she was going with this.
A ghost of a smile danced upon her lips, as she did something he never thought she would ever do in a million years. She sang.
"And if a double-decker bus/Crashes into us/To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.." (1)
She took a deep breath, surprised that singing caused her that much pain. She then remembered that her diaphragm was close to where she was hit, and she just chuckled to herself. The one time that she decides to sing in front of someone, and she had to have a gigantic wound on her stomach.
"Really Rae, The Smiths… at a time like this?" Robin asked, his tone still playful despite everything that was happening.
"You know them?" she replied, thoroughly surprised at the Boy Wonder's taste in music.
"Of course. I did watch 500 Days of Summer."
She let out a small laugh-if her soft, wheezing sound could be called as such. It wasn't the answer that she was expecting, but it was enough.
Though Robin played it off as a joke, he somehow understood Raven's strange song choice- let alone her decision to sing. It was her way of answering the unspoken question in his mind, the reason why she had endangered her life to save his.
Her answer was in that depressing Smiths song.
"And if a ten ton truck/Kills the both of us/To die by your side/Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine." (1)
She stared up at him in disbelief as he continued her song when she couldn't anymore. Could he… could he have understood what she meant when she chose to sing those lines? Did he know of her overwhelming gratitude for everything that he had done? Did he know that she was content to die here in his arms if it meant that he would live on?
She shook her head, a small smile dancing on her lips. She made a mental note to thank Morrissey if she ever got the chance to meet him.
"There is a light and it never goes out... There is a light and it never goes out… There is a light and it never goes out..."
She barely whispered the last lines as she felt herself slowly lose consciousness. The blood loss finally took its toll on her as she became limp in Robin's arms.
His face twisted into an expression of fear when he realized what had happened to her. He quickened his pace, as fast as his injured leg could take them toward the exit. He could see it now, the light at the end of the tunnel. He had to get her out of there; he had to make sure that she was okay. He had to make sure that her light never went out, not from his life.
He didn't know how it happened, but before he knew it, he embraced the light of the early morning. They were finally outside the tunnel, and their friends were right there waiting for them. It was in that moment that he let out a sigh of relief; it was then that he knew that they were going to be safe. And as they went through the motions of getting her to the T-car, of making sure she was safe as they drove back toward the Tower, only one thing was on his mind.
It was her haunting voice, singing the words that resonated within his very soul.
"There is a light and it never goes out... There is a light and it never goes out."
Morrissey, S. P. (Composer). (1986). There is a light that never goes out. [T. Smiths, Performer, & J. Marr, Conductor] United Kingdom.