Falling for Betrayal's Worse

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the rooftops
Write it on the skyline
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be

-Impossible by Shontelle

"Screw you, you bastard!" I hissed, my hands around his throat as I forced him against a locker. My hands tightened around his neck, not too severely but bad enough to make his face go blue as he dropped his books. "Why don't you just die?"

"Rin, stop it!" my younger sister exclaimed, grabbing onto my arm as I shook the violet-haired boy, crashing his head against the locker.

"Fuck you!" I yelled at the boy. "What the hell do you know, huh? What the hell makes you think I give a damn what you think?"

"Rin, please stop!" Yuki begged, clinging onto my arm and desperately trying to pull me off of the bastard.

"Get the hell off of him, Rin!" my best friend, Yukari, exclaimed, grabbing me and easily pulling me away from the boy, who sunk immediately to the ground and gasped for air, his eyes bulging from their sockets.

"He should die!" I exclaimed, struggling to get toward him as my next closest friend, Lily, grabbed onto me. "I hate him, I hate them all! They should all just go and die!"

"Fuck you, you little creep," Gakupo, my victim, gasped, glaring at me as he attempted to swallow all the air he could, flocked by everyone else in the hallway. They didn't know my side of the story. They didn't care. "Why don't you just get the hell out of our school? No one wants you here, anyway."

"Like I fucking want to be here!" I spat. My parents refused to let me change schools. That had to be the worst choice they'd ever made. "You really think I'd be here with you bloody bastards if I had a choice?"

"Please, Rin," Miku, Gakupo's girlfriend, who crouched beside him, snorted. I turned my vicious gaze onto hers, but I felt myself weakening. "We all know you're still here because Aoki's here."

I knew very well that she was just trying to provoke me. That didn't stop me from trying to free myself from Yukari and Lily's grips to rip the girl's pretty little head off. She was such a smug little brat. She smirked at me even now.

"Just die, why don't you?" I snapped, but it was such a weak phrase when my two best friends held me back and as my younger sister clung to me, begging me to stop.

"Rin, calm down."

I froze at that voice. I stopped struggling instantly, but the grips on me only grew tighter as I turned to face the blue-and-violet-haired girl. Aoki Lapis stood before me, a vaguely irritated look in her eyes as she gazed at me with disdain. With one sharp movement, I shook my friends off, but I made no move to step toward Aoki. Instead, I merely stared at her, just as she stared at me, those gentle eyes of her that once were so warm now ice cold, ordering me to stop. That girl who I loved once, who I still loved, stood before me, but the only thing I could feel was hatred.

"Did you even tell them everything?" I hissed, staring at her. "Did you tell them about you and how you felt about it?"

Aoki rolled her eyes and informed me, "I never felt anything, Rin. I explained that to you already." She stared at me icily. "I just wanted everyone to see what a sick little girl you are." She looked down at my younger sister and smirked. "Especially her. She deserves to know how horrid her big sister is."

"Rin's not horrid!" Yuki exclaimed defensively, but her words meant nothing to me. Aoki's were the only ones that mattered, and I saw that she saw me just as everyone else did. Would I have to deal with this forever?

"Screw you," I muttered, but it was so weak in comparison to my earlier shouting that Aoki merely laughter.

"Aren't you going to tell me to die?" she taunted, narrowing her eyes slyly at me. "Or is that impossible since you love me?"

I was glad my hair-clips that normally brushed my bangs to one side had fallen out when I'd attacked Gakupo. The bangs falling before my gaze hid teary eyes. Without another word, I whipped around and began to storm away. Then, I stopped and said to Aoki, "Are you happy now, Aoki? You win. Just leave me alone from now on."

"And render all my hard work useless?" Aoki gasped, mocking me. I was so glad she couldn't see my face, because her next words tore my heart to pieces, and the tears dripped down my face. "Now now, Rin dear, that's simply not fair. Don't you realize how much suffering I had to go through to get here?"

Yukari, Lily, and Yuki all begged me to wait up as they followed me. But I dashed out of the school too quickly. They couldn't keep up with me. I ducked behind a corner and watched them run by me, searching for me and calling out my name. I wiped ever-flowing tears and my running nose with my sweater sleeve, curling up into a ball and rocking back and forth as I cried. It wasn't fair. I loved her. I truly loved her.

Six months ago, Aoki had asked me out. Me, who'd yet to admit to anyone that I was a lesbian. She'd been so kind, so sweet. I'd never dated anyone before. I didn't know there'd ever be someone, another girl, who could love me. So I said yes.

And I fell for her. Slowly, steadily, I fell. We kept our relationship a secret, but she showered me with so much love. I truly believed that she loved me, too, but she didn't. She was just doing it to get a laugh, because Miku had told her to. It was a way to become popular. She told her friends everything we ever did, everything we ever said. Even the first time I told her I loved her.

And then, finally, she'd let me in on her little game, leaving me defenseless, alone, to deal with it all. Left alone to deal with her friends harassing me every day. Left alone to deal with the fact that my little sister might find out and hate me. Left alone to realize that no one had ever truly loved me like I'd believed.

Left alone to realize Aoki had never loved me.

. . .

A voice purred in my ear, slipping her arms around my stomach, her hands gripping the edge of my shirt. "Heya, Rin." I closed my eyes and braced myself, bearing with it. I could feel everyone watching as Seeu wrapped herself around me. "I was just wondering, do all girls turn you on or is it just Aoki?"

"Screw off, Seeu," I snapped, my hands clenching into fists as I kept my eyes firmly shut.

"So just Aoki then?" Seeu murmured seductively. Her breath was warm against my ear, but I didn't care. "Are you sure you're not interested?"

"Fuck you," I spat, refusing to look at her for fear it would make me lose my cool. "Just go back to Aoki, okay? I know she told you to do this."

"She did nothing of the kind, and she doesn't have to know." Seeu's hands were under my shirt, slowly making their way upward. Only then did I step abruptly away from her and turn my hate-filled gaze onto her. She laughed and wondered, "What's wrong, Rin? I'm just trying to be nice. You must be heartbroken now that Aoki's abandoned you."

"Calm yourself, Seeu," Aoki said coolly, all the way on the other side of the classroom, absently working on her homework.

I wasn't sure what it was that really set me off. Whether it was Aoki's complete disinterest in what Seeu did to me or Seeu's mocking flirtation or the fact that it was obvious that the entire class had witnessed her teasing, I couldn't be sure. What I did know was that I'd had enough.

"Are you done embarrassing me yet?" I snapped at Aoki. She looked up at me with an almost bored expression, which only fueled the fire. "Don't you give a damn about what you've done? Do you realize how completely cruel you are? Do you realize that I actually believed in you?"

I swung my arms out toward the entire class and, eyes burning with heartbreak and hatred, "What about everyone else, huh? Why don't you tell everyone what you did? Why don't you tell them that you lulled me into that false sense of security just to tear me apart? Tell them what I know now: tell them that you're a liar, a manipulative, greedy bitch who used me to gain acceptance in Miku's group!"

I shook my head violently, sending my tears flying everywhere. "Why don't you tell them how happy you made me just so that you could crush me later? Why don't you tell them how you made me feel so important, so loved, just so that you could leave me heartbroken? Why don't you tell everyone that you dated me for six months with the sole purpose of breaking my heart?"

My anger was draining as the sobs came, but I still stared at the apathetic girl and wondered, "Did you know how happy I was? Did you know how much it would tear me apart when you told me the truth?"

And then, slowly, Aoki closed her book. Eyes delicately shut, she pushed her chair back and stood up. She gently made her way over to me until she stood before me. She then stared me straight in the eye, and she wondered, "Did you know that I really don't give a damn about you whatsoever?"

And did she know that, immediately after that, I'd go home, take a vial of pills from the medicine cabinet, swallow the entire thing, and be found later by my little sister when she returned home from school?

Author's Note: And this is what happens when I am overloaded with fluff work for Valentine's Day. Whatever. Oh, right, I don't capitalize the U in Seeu for stylistic purposes. For example, I'd call her SeeU as a stage name, but, if it's just her as a person, I say Seeu.