Jimmy had never been very good with picking out gifts. It required you to have an empathetic skill, to be able to think from another person's perspective. You had to ask yourself, 'what would I want if I were *insert name of the person that causes your gift-giving woes here*?' Well, Jimmy had never really been talented at seeing things from someone else's point of view. So right now his gift options for Cindy consisted of rare chemicals and anthropologic encyclopedias. He had a feeling, however, that Cindy wouldn't want these things, especially for Valentine's Day. This hunch was confirmed by Libby Folfax.
"OUCH!" Jimmy yelped as he rubbed the spot on his head where Libby just hit him with a box of chocolates.
"You want to get her FERRIC ACID?" Libby crossed her arms as she sat at the booth in the Candy Bar.
"What? She said she had a hard time getting her nail polish off the other night –see, I do listen to her inconsequential rambling sometimes – the ferric acid should take care of that! It's much more effective than alcohol. In addition, if she ever needs to make a hyperspace transmitter –" Jimmy started to explain.
"No, Jimmy. Just, no. She does not want super nail polish remover, and she's never going to have to make a hopperspace telegraph –"
"- hyperspace transmitter –"
"Whatever. She wants something that means you care about her. Something she can look at and think about you." Libby sighed. "Boys."
"That doesn't make any sense. In fact, this holiday doesn't make any sense! Did you know the story of St. Valentine is actually quite cruel and sad? When he was alive –"
"Jimmy, no one cares. That isn't the point of the holiday. Just get Cindy a teddy bear or something." She shooed him with her hands. "Now, I have to go. Good luck." Libby walked out.
As Jimmy walked over to a store that would hopefully contain a teddy bear, he mused on the ridiculousness of the holiday. How could Cindy possibly appreciate a teddy bear more that ferric acid? Girls were still a complete enigma after all these years. Really, what was the point in giving gifts on this preposterous holiday in the first place? If this was really about love, than couldn't they just spend the day together? Jimmy could put up with Cindy's chatty, angry presence for a whole day. He basically did that every day now that he had filled the post of 'boyfriend'. And if that wasn't love, than he ought to jump on the train to Loonyville right now. But, if he didn't get a gift, Jimmy was sure to endure a lot more of the angry Cindy in the near future.
So, a teddy bear it is.
He walked into a little knick-knack shop. The place was decorated elaborately for Valentine's Day. Hearts adorned the walls and pink streamers hung in every direction. The flip at the top of Jimmy's hair got stuck in one and he managed to pull down a few cardboard cupids as he fell to the ground. He quickly recovered, glancing around to make sure no one saw. It seemed like they didn't. Jimmy sighed in relief and strolled over nonchalantly to the shelves of teddy bears lining the back wall. He never imagined that there could be such a wide variety of stuffed animals. There were pink ones, purple ones, big ones, small ones, ones that talked, and others that sang. Where to begin…
He decided on a normal looking brown bear holding a little pink heart. The rest were a little too outlandish. Hopefully, Cindy would feel the same way.
Walking home, Jimmy came up with an excellent idea. Why not embellish the bear with some of his scientific expertise? He could make the gift holiday appropriate and useful! Jimmy smiled to himself. That's right, he thought, I'm a genius.
That night he slaved over the teddy bear, equipping it with all kinds of gadgets from camcorders to soap dispensers. He finished just before midnight and sent himself to bed, satisfied.
The next day, he walked up to Cindy's house and rang the doorbell. She opened the door and grimaced.
"I told you to be here at eleven o'clock, Nerdtron. It's 11:03." She crossed her arms.
"Sorry," he offered, "but I come bearing gifts! BEHOLD!" Jimmy held out the bear, slightly lumpier with all the gadgetry inside and now with a Neutron Atom Insignia on the heart it was holding. "I present to you, the world's most useful teddy bear ever!"
"This isn't like the toilet in the briefcase, right? Because I-" Cindy began, her eyebrow raised.
"No! Although, I could add that if you so desired –" he saw the look on her face, "– or not. Anyway, this baby can –"
As Jimmy pressed the button to activate the Space Heater appliance, the bear began to shake and emit high pitched beeps. Cindy covered her ears. Jimmy attempted frantically to stifle the bear, but then –
BOOM.
The bear exploded, leaving the machinery and fluffy stuffing all over Cindy's front lawn. Jimmy's face was covered in soot from the explosion and his hair was standing up in multiple directions. He glanced up to see Cindy's face, which was also covered in black dust, and expected to see her fuming with rage. However, she was beaming. She burst into hilarious fits of laughter. Jimmy looked at her with confusion. She fell to the ground, clutching her stomach.
"You are such a hopeless little nerd!" She spat out between laughs. Jimmy found himself cracking up too.
It was at that moment Jimmy had a small epiphany. This gift wasn't what mattered at all – it was her happy reaction that he was really after. Whether she was smiling at an intact teddy bear or laughing at an obliterated one, his goal was to make her happy so they could have moments like this.
..^^^..
Later on, as Cindy walked back into her house, she found the heart the bear had been holding. It was still mostly unharmed with only a few charred edges. And there, printed in the center clear as day, lay Jimmy's trademark. She smiled to herself and took the heart with her to her room. She put it on top of her desk so she could be reminded of that stupid little dweeb from across the street and how hard he tried to be a normal boyfriend.
She was really glad he wasn't.