Disclaimer - I do not own Bakugan. Used for purely entertainment purposes.
Confused.
"Hello mom…." Shun said softly. He glanced wistfully at the blue-haired woman placed perfect center in the room. "Wish you were here…" he said slowly; this was the usual greeting. He sighed. Every time those words left his lips, so did a hope that she heard them. Today, this hope was especially strong. Waiting a few seconds, he spoke again, "How have things been…? Not too dull…?" A routine not unusual, Shun tried to make conversation. He looked around the room. One of the hospital's more permanent residents, Shun did his best to personalize his mother's room to the best he knew of her taste. Pictures of him and her. Cards from him, placed neatly in a row. Shun knew these efforts were unseen by her, but they were not wasted. He liked the feeling. This was as close he could get to communicating with her. The visits, the cards. In his dreams, they were all answered. He shut his eyes at the silliness of it all, but this was the only way he knew reaching to her.
"Sorry I haven't been around much, mom. I had to go… again, to another planet. Not Vestroia, Gundalia. It was about the Bakugan. You know I still love them; it's probably because of you I'm doing all this now. I know you'd want me to embrace what I love, if you were here." Shun took a shuddering breath. With his mother, it was most time he talked. "More than ever, I wish you were with us. I need somebody."
"The Brawlers are my family, but they won't understand. Neither would Grandpa. Only you would. You know…" he smiled a little, "the Brawlers would be scared to death if they saw me run my mouth like this. I don't speak around them. I never have reason to. I know what you would say mom, you'd want me to be happy even though you're in this… condition. But this is the way the Brawlers exist..." He looked a little to the side, ripping his gaze away from her, but reveling in the comfort of her presence. He took a deep breath and tried again.
"The reason… the reason why… I visited today because I need to talk this confusion out… I never have felt this way. Usually everything is not so complicated, but now… I need advice… in a way, I feel if I talk to you, it'll come to me. You're still my mother, in every sense…" His voice broke at this point.
"R-remember, once when I told you about this girl, Alice…? I haven't seen her for months now, but… recently I've been feeling… strange... when I think of her. Mom, it's nerving. She's crept into my routine slowly, and the strange part, she's not actually here right now…"
Shun looked at his mother's steadily breathing body. Somehow, this'd given him fresh confidence to word his thoughts. "She's not here, but I can't help but feel like she is here… and when that happens, I feel… vulnerable?" Shun sounded confused. "It's sudden… I don't know, mom, this is the first time I've been focusing on someone. Every day, my mind points straight ahead. I know what to do, but these new… I don't know. And I hate feeling like this."
Shun's face crossed under the intensity of his thoughts.
"Mom, I'm not supposed to be like this… I'm supposed to be dedicated, focused at what I do." His voice had taken a shaky tone. "I don't know about Alice, I never do… and I don't like how all this affects me. Every time she crosses my mind, I'm immediately off-track. It's a barrage of things… I'm not used to…"
His arms crossed. "Sometimes, I find myself admiring her… for what, I… I don't know… I think, maybe, that I've always treated her slightly differently from the others… I've never really noticed this. At first I dismissed it, mom, I thought it was nothing more than her etiquette that sparked the strangeness, but now I don't know… This increased over the numerous weeks. I'm confused. Mom, the only other time I felt… emotions this strong was when Skyress left me. I understood why I had them… Skyress was there for me always, she was like a godmother. She was a guardian, but Alice…? Why her? In so long, I haven't seen her…" His voice trailed sadly.
He took in another breath. "The point to all this is… these new thoughts worry me. I wish to get rid of them. I do not want to be in this state. I want a normal mind… Besides, mom, I have no clue why it's her… It could just have easily been Runo, or Mira, or someone… why her, mom, a person I hardly know… Why?"
Desperate, the boy looked to his mother for an answer. She didn't move, she never did, so why was he expecting this time to be different? Was it because he still wished she heard him, so she could help him…?
Shun kneeled in front of his other's bed, his arms spread carelessly over the covers, his spirit lying in pieces.
"Mom." His face was buried, his voice muffled, but it was dry. No trace of breaking. Only sadness.
"I need you. All the time, I pull myself into training. I try to get better and better… for you. But then, a time like this comes when I wish for a parent's advice, to sort out the confusion. Because I don't know what to do." He looked up, his mother's face in close line of his sight.
He smiled warily, "And that old man is no help."
"Mom, so please, be there for me, give me a clue… please… I hate these… things in me. Mom, tell me the right way to go…"
Shun stared unblinking at his mother's eyes. All her wisdom, her love to him, she hid them behind those closed lids, depriving her world; her son, of herself.
A.N: Hello, as you can see, this oneshot is focused on Shun, his mother, and new found feelings for Alice, the centre of his confusion. Yes, he likes her, but has not the slightest clue how to face this. I also wanted to explore his relationship with his mother. So I hope it went well. This is also my first story to hit dead-on 1k words. :)
I really want info on this, I poured out my heart for it, literally. It's difficult to write about Shun's emotions, because, well... he is Shun. So, I apologize in advance for any OOCness, spelling errors, or excessiveness of ellipses - this was to show Shun's utter confusion.
So, how was it overall? Like it or hate it? PLEASE REVIEW. It's deathly easy now. So there's really no excuse.
