"They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that's why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers." David Assael
What a fool you are…for twenty-five years nothing changed. What did you think would happen? Did the Red Sea part? You worked…for…him. For two years—day in and day out-- you were right under his nose—did he ever stop to say "Hello"? You didn't accomplish anything…you failed….
An adorable, toe-headed little girl complete with bright-pink Barbie backpack skipped down the street, brimming, middle-aged gentleman in tow. A scene Victoria witnessed numerous times, yet never managed to obtain a glimmer of insight. As they faded away into the distance, Victoria felt as if the bottom of her heart had fallen to the floor and been discarded like a wayward scrap of paper.
"Sweetheart?" The kind, familiar, female's voice which settled on the bed next to her never seemed to register. "Oh Sweetie…have you been sitting here all night? Look at you….you haven't even changed clothes…" As the voice started to rummage through suitcases, Victoria's head dropped… Kneeling on the floor, the Voice held her favourite pajamas. Victoria did not move. With the patience of a saint, the Voice remained. After an extended moment, she spoke softly. "…I….Victoria…" she wasn't sure what to say… Although Victoria was a young woman, a lost little girl waited for a response—without much hope of receiving one.The Voice sighed. "I wish…" she continued with much difficulty. "…Victoria…if your Father—after everything he's put you through…"
Impercievbly, Victoria shook her head. Shutting her eyes, Victoria tried in vain to lock out a cascade of bad memories. "…it should have been me. I should be dead. Everything would be ok." A ten year old memory, the death of the only person that had cared whether she was living or not, was as fresh in her memory as if it had happened last night. Despite being cognizant that her "Daddy's" untimely death had been a horrific and tragic accident, Victoria still felt that the full weight of the incident fell squarely on her shoulders. "…everything would be….ok…"
The woman squeezed her hand. "…sweetie…don't ever day that. You were the best thing that ever happened to him. And no matter what happened…your Daddy still loves you. You and I both know that he wanted you to grow up to be a successful, young woman and to have a happy relationship with the other side of your family…" Involuntarily, Victoria's mouth opened to speak, but nothing came forth. "He's very proud of you, Victoria...I know he is…"
"I….I just…" Victoria gave up trying to speak. She could barely summon up the energy to take another breath, let alone form a coherent thought.
"I know sweetie…I know." Coaxing her from the bed, the kind woman tried to move her towards the bathroom. "I'm going to get your bed ready…you go change…ok?" Glad to receive even a miniscule amount of positive direction in her life, Victoria complied with the woman's wishes.