A/N: A year ago tomorrow and more than 210K ago, I posted the first chapter of my first fic. Still surprises me. Thanks to everyone who read, commented, followed or favorited something I've written. I am deeply appreciative.

This fic was supposed to be for SQBB last year, but it sort of became bigger and more complex than I had time to write. So, I've a few chapters in the wings waiting to be posted, so the wait for those shouldn't be too long.

Special thanks to Renienne for being an in-house personal beta. Thanks to Lelila Solo for Beta+, (and part of the idea this started with) but all mistakes are still mine. And Thanks to Velace for other ideas for this - and for sending my muse off in strange directions.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of their respective copyright holders. As always, I own nothing but my own imagination, and am just borrowing those who populate my tale. This work is not intended to violate any copyrights, and is for entertainment purposes only and not for profit.

Emma was sure that she had heard Ruby wrong when she picked up the phone at the station. There was a lot of noise and the combination of words Ruby had used just didn't compute. While she was unclear about what exactly was happening and who was involved, she knew something was wrong. She grabbed her jacket, clipped her pistol to her belt and headed out to the Rabbit Hole. Earlier, she'd been pissed that David had begged to swap shifts because he had yet another "romantic evening" planned — it never ceased to amaze her how 'cute' her former roommate and friend, now younger 'parents' were together, and by cute she meant 'makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs and thrown my visual memory in the bleach batch' kind of cute. But one call of some sort of disturbance over at the bar cheered her right up.

She double parked the cruiser right at the door and entered, taking a moment to adjust to the dimly lit interior. Scanning the room, she saw Happy in the corner, head back, holding a bleeding nose with Grumpy giving the death glare to someone — although she couldn't tell who — at the bar. Emma started to make her way across the room when Ruby caught her attention and waved her over to the corner at the end of the row of drinking patrons.

"So what happened?" she asked.

"I don't know what started it, but Regina and Happy got into it and he ended up with a bloody nose."

Emma shook her head, confused. "Happy? Grumpy I can see, but Happy? I mean, unless somehow he was standing in the irony line when he received his name… wait a minute. Did you just say Regina?" She knew it was loud in the joint, but Ruby's words were unmistakable, confirming what she thought she'd misheard earlier on the phone.

Ruby just nodded and pointed. From where Emma was standing she could clearly see Regina, sitting ramrod straight as she knocked back what looked like a whiskey straight.

"What the hell?" Emma said. "And here I thought I was the only one special enough to earn a right hook from Regina." Ruby gave her a look that made her question what the girl knew, but then the lanky brunette just shrugged, so Emma made her way to the two dwarves.

Happy leveled his head when Grumpy nudged him. As soon as he saw Emma he said, "I want to press charges." It came out whiny and distorted.

"Whoa. Slow down," she said, resisting the temptation to add 'little man' at the end. "Just tell me what happened."

"She happened," he said pointing at Regina's back.

"More specific, as there are no charges for someone 'happening.' Did she hit you?"

"Not exactly," he said looking quickly at Grumpy who looked at his shoes. As he did so, he swayed a bit indicating that, yet again, he was drunk.

Emma felt her annoyance growing. So much for getting called out cheering her up. "Guys, either tell me what happened or I'm going back to my trashcan basketball game."

"Grumpy punched me."

Emma was not expecting that. "Call me confused, but if he hit you, why are you blaming Regina."

Happy muttered something she couldn't hear. "Okay, then, I'm out. Have fun guys. Doesn't look like it is broken."

"She made Grumpy hit me, okay."

Emma managed not to burst out laughing for all of two seconds. When she finally managed to get herself back under control, both of them were staring at her like she just joined up with Darth Vader and the Dark Side.

"No, seriously, how exactly did she do that?"

"Magic, sister. Or did you forget who she is?"

Emma sighed. "Let me get her side of things," she said turning reluctantly to talk to Regina.

Before she even made it onto the stool next to her Regina said, "Sheriff Swan, as if my night could not get any better."

"Did you really make Grumpy hit Happy with magic."

"No." Regina looked at her long enough for Emma to start fidgeting before continuing. "But since I am sure you'll keep bothering me with inane questions, I simply redirected his aggression. Your question should have been 'Did you really use magic to make Grumpy hit Happy?' Grumpy is without magic."

Emma looked at Regina who had gone back to looking at the drink in front of her. "I am just going to ignore that you just corrected my syntax."

"Just trying to improve your communication skills, Sheriff."

"Uh huh. So, you are saying that they were being physically aggressive to you."

She turned in her seat and glared at Emma. "Really, Sheriff? Had they attempted that, I would have immolated them with a fireball or transformed them into small reptiles. Which is only a small change, having already been hatched like lizards."

She nodded, thankful that Regina had apparently shown some restraint or at least had some sort of sliding scale of responses. "Okay then, no physical harassment, so verbal?"

"Yes, and if anyone should be pressing charges it should be me. I was minding my own business enjoying my drink when those two," she said gesturing over her shoulder, "decided to once again hurl insults at me."

"Can I ask why you are even here?"

Regina reached for her glass and took a generous swallow. "No, you may not, as I don't see how it is relevant to your 'investigation' such as it is."

Emma raised her hand in surrender. "Just curious, as it doesn't seem like your sort of scene."

The other woman ignored her and took another swallow, so Emma changed tactics. "So sure, I'll keep this professional then."

She was close enough to hear Regina snort. "That is what we agreed."

Damn woman was so arrogant sometimes, she had half a mind to arrest her. Instead, she tried to keep her voice calm as she asked. "Mayor Mills, for the record, would you please explain what led to, quote, 'redirect his aggression?'"

Once again Regina turned to her, lips pursed in obviously distain. "I simply stopped him from being able to continue his verbal harassment. All that bottled up aggression apparently came out rather violently and Happy was where I redirected it."

Then Regina did something strange. She reached over to the plate next to her and picked up a mozzarella stick and polished it off in two bites, then washed it down by finishing her drink.

"I take it you don't want to tell me exactly what was said?"

"I'll be happy to put it on an official complaint form, Sheriff, if that is what must happen."

Emma slid off the stool, with a muttered, "Let's hope it isn't," because she hated paperwork as it was and she really didn't want to be scanning the books to figure out what to charge Regina with.

When she reached the two dwarves, she said, "So here's the thing. She has a good case for verbal harassment, so I'm going to suggest you let this go."

"Harassment? She made Grumpy hit me, which is assault."

Emma nodded. "Most people think that, but actually the charge would be battery. But honestly, you had a little bloody nose and if I lock her up, you two have to be charged as well."

Happy's face contorted into a pout that Emma found infinitely amusing but made it difficult for her to keep her game face on.

"But I'm the victim here. She's a bully."

Emma leaned forward. "Seriously? You confront her and I'm going to guess, say something that anyone would find offensive, and now you want to play that role? Well, let me explain that in cases like this it is largely left to the officer's discretion. But if you insist I pursue this, I'll get statements, including witness statements. Statements which will say that you were hit by your best bud here."

She watched as the two exchanged looks.

"If you two are calculating the odds of people being uncooperative or lying for you because it is the former-evil-queen-slash-mayor, then let me remind you that there probably aren't a lot of people who are willing to lie against her to the Savior."

At that Grumpy stood up, pulling Happy with him. "Convenient how you fail to remember the town laws about using magic without a good cause. I don't think you can make a 'self-defense' case for her. And being mayor doesn't exempt her from the laws she signed."

Emma sighed as she reached for her radio and called for David. "I need you to come to the Rabbit Hole to transport two. I'll take in the third."

Grumpy and Happy looked at each other. "Three?"

"Turn around, Grumpy. You're familiar with the procedure."

"What are you arresting me for this time?"

Emma secured his wrists and moved him to the chair he'd just vacated. "Breach of Peace for starters. The rest depends on my mood. Which I should warn you, is worsening by the minute."

Grumpy was sober enough to at least keep quiet while she used her spare pair on Happy and Mirandized him. Most of the bar crowd seemed largely uninterested in the situation and when David came strolling in, he opened his mouth to say something but she just put her hand up. "Outside."

After escorting the two dwarves out and securing them in David's patrol car, she said. "I need your cuffs."

"Are you going to tell me who the third person is?"

Emma kicked at a small pebble on the sidewalk. "Regina."

David looked down at her and frowned. "Emma, maybe you should call in Mulan for back up?"

Emma looked at David, irritated at the suggestion that she couldn't handle Regina. "Why? She is one woman."

David shrugged, "I just meant she has that sword that deflects spells… it could come in handy."

"I'll be fine. Just get these two into a cell together. I'll be right behind you."

David nodded and got into the patrol car. She returned to the bar, dreading what she had to do. But things were getting out of hand in town lately, with more and more issues everyday. People just didn't seem to be coping well with trying to integrate their fairytale selves and their cursed selves.

She walked back to Regina and sat down next to her.

"While I am content that you've handled our misnomered little friend and you've safely put Grumpy away for the evening, I am sure you have plenty now to fill the rest of your shift. That alone then begs the question, why are you still bothering me?"

Emma looked at the glass with maybe a swallow left in it. "How much have you had to drink tonight, Regina?"

"Not enough to have lowered my inhibitions enough to cause serious bodily harm to those nasty little men. I'd say correct me if I'm wrong — I'm not of course— but there is no law against sorbition in licensed establishmentsduring the legally designated hours if one is of the appropriate age."

"I have no idea what the fuck you just said, but you can either tell me, or I'll ask the bartender because right now, I'm asking as Sheriff, so stop being a bitch."

For a split second, Emma thought Regina just might use a fireball or something far worse on her. The glare alone had her struggling to maintain her composure and act like the adult she was supposed to be instead of running screaming like a scared three year old when a clown came into a room.

"Four or five, if you must know. Since your next question is going to be how long have I been here: I had a late business meeting here at 9 and lets just say that negotiations did not go well with that arrogant bastard George."

Emma bit her tongue at Regina's slip. She rarely discussed City Hall business and never admitted when things were not going her way. If they weren't, that would explain the exceedingly pissy mood she was in. Realizing that Regina was looking at her she said, "I'm sorry you had a bad meeting but that doesn't excuse what happened here."

"Sheriff, you can keep your bleeding heart in your chest."

Emma almost choked at the sound of Regina laughing at her own joke because it sound dangerously close to a giggle.

The brunette grew serious again. "Despite recent improvements in our interactions, you do not know me."

"Maybe not," Emma snapped back, "But you are drunk and your little power display was out of line."

Regina's lips curled into a snarl. "I am not intoxicated, so just go on back to darts or whatever misuse of town funds you usually engage in at this hour."

Emma was not looking forward to what she was going to have to do, even if Regina complied. Taking a deep breath, she reminded herself to stay professional. "Legally, based on suspected weight, the amount you've had to drink, and the time elapsed, you are intoxicated. On top of that, you show all the signs."

Once again Regina let out a little snort. "In no way am I exhibiting the behavior of someone inebriated."

Emma laughed. "Oh, really. Your pupils are partially dilated, you are constantly tapping your glass and you drift off with a vacant look periodically. Then there is the talking about work outside the office. That and the cheese sticks. I mean, seriously?"

She turned away as she snarled, "That is ridiculous."

Emma leaned in close so she was sure no one else could overhear her. "The intoxication isn't the big issue… the use of magic on the other hand. This isn't the first time and now Grumpy made a point of bringing up the town ordinances. You manage to not only turn every citation I write to ash, but somehow the city hall copies have all vanished into thin air as well. You haven't left me much choice."

Regina glanced at her and waved a hand. "Please, this little … disturbance barely qualifies as using magic."

Emma took a deep breath. "I don't want to do this but I'm taking you to the station. Now, you can pay your tab and walk out with me quietly or I can make a scene and arrest you for battery and drunk and disorderly conduct in addition to violating the town ordinances on magic use."

Regina's head snapped around and she was almost nose to nose with her. "You wouldn't dare."

Emma could smell her night jasmine perfume and the lingering scent of whiskey and couldn't stop her eyes from dropping to Regina's full lips. She quickly returned them to Regina's dark eyes. Without losing eye contact, she reached for her cuffs and rattled them slightly. "Do you really want to find out?"

To Emma's surprise and relief, Regina pulled away and slid off her stool. She put a couple of bills on the bar and then without further comment started out the door. When Emma caught up with her, she was walking down the street. "Regina the patrol car is right here."

Regina kept walking but said, "We both know you are not going to do this over that minor incident. Go release the two hatchlings and tell them…whatever saves you the most paperwork."

Emma caught up with her and said, "I'm being nice by not cuffing you, but I am doing this because you signed the ordinances and you have to live by them." She grabbed Regina's arm. As soon as she did, she knew she'd made a mistake. A huge one. Possibly one that would hurt. A lot. Regina spun on her, jerking her arm away and shoving her. She stumbled back a bit but regained her balance quickly. "What the fuck, Regina? Are you trying to get a serious felony charge?"

"You won't do it, so you may as well let me walk home, because I will not be getting into that vehicle," she said with a smile that Emma had come to recognize as the smile she wore when she thought she'd won.

She nodded and said, "Yes, you know me so well. Because you think I feel bad about arresting the woman who I'm giving it to regularly on the down-low?"

Regina smirked. "Despite your crass description of our arrangement, I can promise that continuing on this path will most definitely make continuing such activity highly unlikely."

She watched as Regina spun, convinced of her victory. Her own anger at Regina's arrogance, disrespect of Emma's position, and keeping it separate from whatever personal relationship had developed since returning from Neverland started to build. It was the exact wrong thing to challenge her with.

She took the two steps to reach the brunette and wrapped her in a bear hug from behind, quickly lifting her off the ground. She turned and, managing to avoid stumbling at the curb, pushed Regina hard into the hood of the patrol car. As Regina grunted and tried to catch her breath, Emma quickly slid her arm out from around her. Using her body weight to push Regina's torso down on the hood, she reached for her cuffs.

Regina struggled against her as she maneuvered first one arm behind her and secured the cuff on her thin wrist, then did the same with the other.

"This is ridiculous. I am the qu— the mayor." She huffed out as she continued to struggle.

Emma pressed her further into the hood using her front and a forearm at Regina's shoulders. She tried to ignore the sudden warmth she felt while in this position and trying desperately not to think of the position occurring in a more enjoyable setting.

"Stop struggling. You really need to learn when not to push people, because I, for one, am not afraid of you."

In a voice that that she had only ever heard Regina use in one of those settings running through her head — it was strangely smooth and sexy — she said, "You should be."

Emma's focusing on Regina's voice and feel of her curves against her left her too slow to react when Regina's right foot came slamming down on the top of hers. Although the pain shot through her entire foot, redirected her focus. In response, she shoved a thigh between Regina's legs as she used her other foot to kick her legs apart, taking away her leverage. As she pressed more of her weight against her to prevent Regina from hurting her again, Emma thought Regina moaned but it was probably just her imagination. "I am not letting you up until you stop. And right now you are just handing me charges left and right."

After a moment, she felt Regina relax. "Emma. This is unnecessary. I will… apologize to the walking garden gnomes."

She shifted positions and pulled Regina up by the upper arm. "Oh, you made it necessary. You've pushed this magic thing one too many times. Like everyone else around here lately, you just can't seem to help yourself." Leading her to the door of the car, she opened it and made sure Regina didn't hit her head going in.

She took a deep breath and headed around to the driver's side. She opened the door and slid in, starting the engine. She glanced in the rearview mirror and was confronted with Regina glaring at her. Doing her best to ignore the glare, she put the car in drive and hit the accelerator.

Regina said nothing so they drove in silence. When they reached the station Emma drove to the rear — as it was a shorter distance to her office. Regina glared at her but accepted help exiting the patrol car.

Just inside the door, Regina stopped, causing Emma to bump into her. "You do realize, Sheriff, that I am more than capable of getting out of these restraints and this place."

Emma nudged her forward. "Feel free to try. Since I have no idea who else has magic, access to magic, or may have stolen some fairydust, I had Blue enchant the handcuffs and the cells."

"My, aren't you the smart one of the Charmings. Proof of nurture over nature," she quipped.

Emma could picture the look she knew was on Regina's face and rolled her eyes, just as they walked in to the office and David looked up.

Suddenly she wanted nothing more to do with this until she had some sleep. Looking up at the clock, she saw it was twenty minutes after eleven. "Hey, David, can you process her? My shift was over at eleven and I need some sleep."

She released one of Regina's hands and said, "In front."

Regina snarled but said nothing as she did as Emma asked. When she was recuffed, Emma seated her. "Just get the basics, I'll fill in the paperwork tomorrow."

"Okay, Emma. And before you say it, I know to keep at least one wrist cuffed."

Emma nodded but avoided looking at Regina as she headed out the front to her own car and home for the night.