"Ok. 'ere's the plan. You'll stay 'ere and watch the corridor for the humans. I'll run in an' steal the chicken. If you see 'em coming, meow loudly 'n' start purring at 'em an' keep them distracted long enough for me te run. Understand?" Mungojerrie explained the plan to his twin sister again for the millionth time. Their humans had just finished cooking a huge roast chicken, and he had his heart set on stealing it. The twins were planning on taking it back to the Jellicle Junkyard for their leader, Old Deuteronomy's, 19th (in human years) birthday.
"Why do you have te be the one te get the meat? Why can't I do it for once?" Rumpleteazer complained.
"Coz I'm faster, smarter, funnier, handsomer, and simply better than you. And I never mess it up." Mungojerrie said, grinning with pride. Rumpleteazer just huffed in response and stalked over to her place in the hallway, tail swishing angrily. Mungojerrie jumped up onto the kitchen counter and darted over to the golden-brown chicken. He sniffed at it. There was some sort of plastic coating over it. It was sort of sticky. Mungojerrie pulled it off in one go, grinning at the human's futile attempt at keeping him away from the food. He was too clever. He grabbed the chicken in his jaws and prepared to leap down from the counter when a shout came from the hallway.
"Run, Mungo!" Rumpleteazer bounded into the kitchen, the big male human running after her. The two cats abandoned the chicken and raced from the kitchen. Eventually, after running in circles for minutes on end, they jumped up onto a cupboard and hoped their human wouldn't be able to reach them. No such luck. The human's big, fleshy paws closed around Rumpleteazer's middle and pulled her down from the top. She hissed at him. Then Mungojerrie felt himself being pulled down from his hiding place too. The twins found themselves dangling by the scruff of the neck, held up at eye level by the human. He scowled at them.
"I've had enough of you two. You're always getting into trouble, knocking over pots, stealing jewellery... Now you got the chicken that was going to be for Sandra's party! I should have drowned you when you were born. I knew you were going to be trouble. You-"
"What's happening, daddy? The little girl, Sandra, walked into the room. She stared at the sight in front of her and promptly started crying.
"Bonnie! Clyde! Don't hurt them, daddy! Please don't hurt them! What did they ever do to you? Huh?" Sandra stuck out her lower lip and crossed her arms. Her expression was almost comical. The big human sighed and put the two cats down, glaring at them.
"Darling, you know how I said that mummy would make us a nice roast chicken for the party?" Sandra nodded. "Well Bonnie and Clyde tried to steal it. So I had to tell them off. They can't just keep stealing things. Do you remember when your older sister's pearl necklace went missing and she got very upset? We found it around Bonnie's neck a few weeks later. They'd stolen it. Now, why don't you run along and see if mummy needs help finding another chicken?" Sandra nodded again, drying her tears, and wandered off. The human rounded on the cats, who were currently trying to pry open a window to escape.
"Right, you little-" He strided over to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer and made to grab them again, when the window clicked open and they jumped out of it.
"Horrible cats." The human huffed, defeated.
"That was close!" Rumpleteazer panted when they were half way back to the junkyard.
"It was your fault! If you'd 'ave stayed focused you could 'ave stopped him before he saw me!"
"I'm sorry! I was distracted by that mysterious red dot thing again."
"Oh." Mungojerrie's eyes grew wide. "Did you catch it?" He asked eagerly.
"No." Rumpleteazer sighed. "It was too fast."
"Damn. What are we going to tell Munkustrap, then? We can't not 'ave food for Ol' Deut's birthday. Munk would go ballistic if it wasn't perfect!"
"We could get some chicken from the butchers in the village? They should be closed by now so we can sneak in and get some."
"Sis, you're a genius!" Mungojerrie grinned and bounded off in that direction, his twin right on his heels.
The two cats turned up in the junkyard about an hour later, loaded with chicken, sausages, and salmon from the fishmonger's. They dumped the food at Munkustrap's paws. He grinned at the food, his eyes as wide as a kitten's on Christmas.
"Good job, guys." He laughed.
"You better be 'appy, mate. We risked our lives te get that." Mungojerrie said proudly.
"Yeah, our human tried te kill us!"
"We escaped by the skin o' our teeth!"
"We nearly died!"
"Alright, I get it, guys. I was difficult but you got the food and that's all that matters. Thank you." Munkustrap interrupted. "Give the food to Jenny. She'll sort it out. And get some rest. You two look like hell and dad's party could last for hours into the night." So the twins took the food to Jennyanydots and then returned to their den for a well deserved nap.