Disclaimer: I do not own Rachel, Quinn, Noah, or "Popular." :(
A/N: Hehe, this is my take on how Rachel got Noah... Well the process of their hook up anyways. Enjoy!
~Destiny
The theatre was empty save for a cheerio and a star. Quinn was studying a ticked Rachel, muttering to herself. She circled the brunette, eyeing her carefully, "So you want my help? It Finn your target, man hands?"
"He is with you. I will not hang all over him any longer." She crossed her arms.
"Good, but who is your target?" The blonde raised an eyebrow, "Artie? Matt? Mike?"
Rachel pursed her lips, "Noah. I-I've kind of fallen for him."
Her eyes widened, "Puck? You want cougar boy?" She laughed, "Good luck with that one. You're too young."
"You really don't have to do this, you know." Rachel glared at the cheerio.
Quinn shrugged, "I know. That's what makes me so nice!" She put a hand on her shoulder, "Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be…" Quinn started to rummage through her purse and pulled out hair accessories and make up, "Popular!
You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce."
Rachel backed away as she raised a mascara wand, "Um… I don't want to flounce…"
"I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular
I'll help you be popular!" Quinn cornered her and got to work with her make up, "You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!"
"Gee, thanks."
"Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal, a
Sister and adviser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular -
I know about popular," Quinn put the finishing touches on with the make up and started to brush her hair, "And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who-you-were, well, are
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-
Ler…
lar." She shrugged and continued fixing her hair, "La la la la
We're gonna make
You popular
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features." Quinn looked up to see Noah standing in the aisle, obviously very confused, "I remind them on their own behalf
To think of Celebrated heads of state or
Specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!"
Rachel raised a finger, "Actually…"
"They were popular! Please -
It's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!" Quinn stepped back and appraised her handiwork, "Why, Miss Rachel, look at you. You're beautiful." She gestured to the boy in the back of the theatre.
Rachel looked shaken, "I - I have to go." She ran towards the door, shouldering past Noah.
"You're welcome!" Quinn smiled and winked at the dumbstruck teen, "And though you protest
Your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity." She cleaned up her things and barked out to Noah, "Man hands has a thing for you, by the way."
He smiled, "By the way, cheerio…" Noah mimicked her voice, "La la la la
You'll be popular -
Just not as quite as popular
As me!" He left the building, laughing. She could faintly hear him yell as the door closed, "Hey, Berry! Wait up!"
"What a Lima loser."