POTTER!
I am SO through with you and your idiot friends. I don't know WHERE you got it from or HOW you got it up here but I swear to Merlin, I want it gone within the next five seconds.
Prick.
Hello Lily
So nice of you to get in touch. Unfortunately I have no idea what you are talking about.
With regret
James
You know exactly what I'm talking about! I'm not in the mood Potter just sort it out.
I must express again my complete ignorance of the nature of your predicament.
I'm not going to say it. Stop being an arse and just remove it. I can't get out the dormitory and charms is in five minutes.
Remove what?
You're really starting to push me Potter. Fine. The statue. The statue of you.
Which one? (There are many you know. In fact I heard that the fourth year girls have a shrine to me in their dormitory).
Number one: that's bullshit, get over yourself.
Number two: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHICH ONE! THE TEN FOOT, NAKED STATUE OF YOU THAT IS CURRENTLY BLOCKING MY DOORWAY.
Ohhh that one! You mean the anti-vanishable, marble, exclusively commissioned, true to life, reincarnation of yours truly?
Ps it's not naked, but I like where your thoughts are headed love
A single fig leave does not count as clothes.
You love it.
No I don't. Which is why I want it gone. Now. And just so you know, even with a 1 and 2/3 enlargement scale factor... You're still below average.
I AM NOT! I am well above average thank you very much.
Who told you that? Sirius? He's just trying to make you feel better.
Actually, it's a well known fact.
If you say so.
Wow Evans. You really are enjoying this subject of correspondence.
I am not! You just distracted me.
I do have that effect on people.
You're an idiot. Just come up and move it. NOW.
You want me to come up to your dormitory?
...
...
...
Never mind. I'll move it myself.
You know Evans, I'd be more than happy to come over and-
I'll move it myself.