MASSIVE. WRITER'S. BLOCK. SHOOT ME NOW.

America: Really?

NO NOT REALLY!

America: Oh... *looks away*

Canada: She doesn't own Hetalia!

If I did, there would be SO much more yaoi...

Everybody: Huh!?

I REGRET NOTHIIIIIIIIIING!

Japan: ... *quietly nosebleeds in the corner*

*starts laughing as I'm chased by tsundres*

England: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM PAIRED WITH THE BLOODY FROG!?

France: OHONHONHONHON~!

Romano: AND ME WITH THAT BASTARD?!

Spain: *quietly nosebleeds in the corner*

Canada: Um, bittterblueyes27, you should start the story...

ONE SECOND! Im busy fixing the 4th wall that SOMEBODY broke... *glares at Russia*

Russia: What? I had to!

Belarus: He's miiiiiineeeeeeeee...

*fixes the 4th wall* THERE! SHUT UP SO I CAN WRITE THE STORY!

America: YOU MISSED A SPOT! *points to my Hello Kitty duct tape, then a patch I missed*

China: So...kawaii...au...

OH, CRAP! *fixes patch* Well... uh...

BANANA'S AND CHEESE PICKLES!

MUAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHA!

"FASTER, ITALY! (DIRTY, DIRTY PERVS! *smacks you on the head*)" Italy whimpered in fear, then ran a bit, just a bit, faster. When he tripped over a pebble, A FLIPPING NOT EVEN 1 INCH PEBBLE, he tripped and fell face first on the ground.

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GERMANY, HEEEEELP!" Suddenly, a boot is pressed on his head, forcing him to become very good friend with dirt.

Italy doesn't like dirt.

"HAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAUGHT HIM, GUYS!"

"GIT! DON'T YELL OR WE'LL BE CAUGHT OURSELVES!"

"Look who is talking, aru."

"GLARE~" While England glared arrows at China, France smirked at him and walked past him over to America, who was rudely forcing Italy's eye sockets to become friends with dirt worms.

"Non, get off his head."

"Do I have to?"

"Oui. Treat his lovely face with respect."

"Fine, perverted old man." America stepped off Italy's head, which was immediately showered in kisses from France.

"Cher, you look even more adorable than the last time we captured you~!" France hugged him tightly.

"S-stop...bad touchie..." Italy whined.

"Hey!" England smacked France away from Italy, and held him up by his collar.

"V-ve..."

"Don't MOLEST the boy!"

"Kolkolkolkolkol, he's right, da? He will become one..." Russia came out from from the bush, kolkolkoling, and China, who was closest, yelped and ran behind France, unfortunately.

"Ohonhonohnhonhon..."

"CRAP, ARU! WHY AM I SURROUNDED MY PERVERTS AND FREAKS?!" China ran and hid up a tree, shrieking when he found Prussia, and fell out, landing on America.

"China, WTH, man?"

"Aiyah..."

"WEST! CODE RED! ALLIES HAVE CAPTURED ITALY-" He got cut off when Russia yanked him down from the tree. "And now me." He added into the walkie talkie before England took it away, still holding Italy by the collar.

"Ah...Mr. England sir? Collar...kinda...choking...me..."

"Oh! Sorry!" He let go and Italy dropped to the ground.

Russia was currently hugging a protesting China, while holding a struggling Prussia, France was creeping on England, while England was yelling at America for being a git and self-claiming himself as a "HERO OF THE WORLD!" and Italy just sorta... fell asleep on the ground.

'Cuz he's Italy.

And he can do that.

:D

While they were all arguing, a voice suddenly cut clear across all of their's, waking Italy up and screaming, before smiling and waving like an idiot.

"HEEEEY! VHAT ZHE CHEEZE FLAVORED VURST ARE YOU DOING!?" Germany stood there, obviously very angry at the whole scene, Japan standing next to him, katana in hand.

"Oh, Privet, comrade. We were capturing Italy and Prussia, da?"

"No, YOU VERE GIVING ZHEM BACK TO ME!"

"Yay~! Ve, Germany came to save us!" Germany turned to look at his brother.

"Really? You too?"

"Shut up, West."

"Nein. You are being man-handled by Russia."

"Kolkolkolkol..."

"AIYAH! LET GO IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE WEIRD, ARU!"

"ENOUGH!" England threw something at the center of the group, and there was a loud explosion. Suddenly, there were a pile of frogs where the bottle had hit the ground.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"VHAT ZHE VURST!?" Germany yelled.

"What? You guys wouldn't shut u- AHH! GIT!" France had glomped him, kissing his face.

"YOU DO CARE~! I KNEW IIIIIIIIT~!"

"GET OFF ME, YOU BLOODY WANKER!"

"NON! NEVER AGAIN!" As France tried to molest the poor man, Japan woke up Italy by putting a cat on his belly.

Needless to say, it worked.

I mean, who DOESN'T love a cat?

Meanies, that's who.

"V-Ve~? Kitty!" England desperately tried to get France, who was now only wearing a rose...*shiver* off of him with an added rape face, while China and Prussia were caught in a death hug, both having those gloom faces and tears running down their face as Russia sang a cute little sunflower song, with kol kol kol's, and become one~?'s.

Germany, who has been face-palming since the beginning of this war, face-palmed again, and punched France in the face.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU PERVERT!"

"Ohonhonhonhon~..."

"...RUN ARU!" Russia had faltered for a second, trying to find another bow to put in China's hair, and Prussia and China had made their escape.

"F-FROG, I'M SERIOUS! LEAVE MY CLOTHES ALONE!"

"OHONHONHON~! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S UNDER THEM THOUGH!"

"B-BLOODY PERVERT! WE SURRENDER IF YOU CAN GET HIM OFF ME!"

"WHAT?! NO!" America, who had been roleplaying as a cat ran over and intervened. "WE NEVER SURRENDER!"

"OHON~ That will change once England here surrender's his body!"

"N-NO! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" Japan then stepped forward and pushed the perverted thing off England, pointing a katana at him.

"I do not act for the Allies." He said, leering down in a creepy aura at France. "But you should respect people's personal space."

"Aiyah! Japan, why are you so weird?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE HERO NEVER LOOSES!" America tried to sneak up on Germany, but failed when Germany did that awesome punch-y thing, you know, where they punch them behind their shoulder, without looking at them or turning around?

Yeah, he's so manry.

"ZHAT IS ENOUGH!"

"FRANCE! NO!" France had glomped England, tackling him to the ground. England, who had been holding a very important potion (*coughwhosepropertieshadbeenu nknowncough*) flew through the air, hitting Italy on the noggin.

Then it cracked open like an egg.

On his head.

Over the curl.

It didn't affect him, though.

STRANGE.

"V-Ve?"

THEN POOF.

THERE WERE FIREWORKS AND CRUD.

IT LOOKED BEAUTIFUL.

"ITALY!" Italy had exploded.

OR SO IT HAD SEEMED.

When the smoke and fog cleared up, gone was the Italian man in the blue uniform, but a lovely lady who looked exactly like him.

"...Ve~?"

"I-Italy?" Japan looked at Italy in amazement.

"CRAP!" She jumped up when she realized they were all male. "Where did Louise go? And Sakura?!"

"Um, Miss?" China tried to intervene in her rant. She stopped and opened her eyes at him.

SHE LOOKED INTO HIS SOUL.

SHE SAW HELO KITTY.

"RUN AWAY!" She screamed and ran off into the near-by forest.

"AFTER HER!" Germany yelled, quickly following her.

...

Well, that could have gone worse.