Author's note: I'm sorry. My muse is a masochist tonight.
Cosima will always put on her eyeliner.
She made that promise to herself; no matter how sick she gets, how tired she feels, how weak she becomes, she will always find the strength to finish those wings around her eyes. Some days are harder than others, but she always gets it done.
Almost always.
Cosima tightly grips the eyeliner in her hand, but it won't seem to stay there. The pen keeps slipping between her fingertips and out of her grasp because her fingers don't have the strength to hold it. When she's finally able to keep between her fingers, she raises her hand to her eye, but when the tip of the pen gets closer, her arm shakes.
Cosima lowers her arm and takes a breath, trying to steady herself and focus on just getting the tip of that pen to the rim of her eyelid. She lifts her arm once again, but it only makes it a few inches before she starts trembling this time. A frustrated groan slips from Cosima's lips and she angrily throws the eyeliner across the room. The pen hits the wall and falls to the floor.
Cosima looks down from her position on top of the bathroom counter, and realizes that might not have been the best idea. She's not sure if she can find the strength to get down, retrieve the pen, and climb back up again. She sighs, and rests her forehead against the mirror.
A soft tap at the door gets Cosima to sit upright again. "Cosima?" She glances over to see Delphine's head poke through. "Are you alright?"
Cosima closes her eyes and nods. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Delphine enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. "I just… I heard a noise. I wanted to check on you."
"Well I'm fine," Cosima snaps.
Hurt flashes across Delphine's face, but it's gone in an instant. "Okay," she says. She turns around and reaches for the door knob, but before she can leave, Cosima stops her.
"Wait." Delphine faces Cosima again and tilts her head, letting her continue. "I, uh, I kinda dropped my eyeliner," Cosima says, and points to where it landed next to Delphine's feet.
Delphine raises an eyebrow, finding it suspicious that Cosima somehow dropped her eyeliner across the room, but nonetheless, she bends down to pick it up, and walks up to Cosima to return it with a small smile. "Here," she says.
"Thanks," Cosima mutters, not meeting her gaze.
"Anything else?" Delphine asks.
Cosima shakes her head. "No," she says. "That's it."
Delphine nods, but she makes no move to exit the bathroom. Cosima waits, but she soon realizes that Delphine isn't going to leave. Delphine watches as Cosima fumbles with the eyeliner in her hand, trying to get it to stay in her grasp once again. Delphine reaches out to assist her once, but Cosima swats her hand away.
Then, Cosima lifts her hand to her eye. She's able to make a small mark on her eyelid, but then her hands start shaking again and the pen slips out of her grip. Once again, Delphine reaches out to help but once again, Cosima just swats her away. "No no, I got it," she says, and fumbles with the pen.
The next time she tries to lift her hand, the eyeliner stays in her grip, but her arm begins trembling again.
This time, Delphine does not let Cosima shoo her away, as much as she tries. "Hey!" Cosima says as she pulls the eyeliner out of Delphine's reach. Delphine stretches her arm and grabs the eyeliner, but Cosima's grip on it only tightens. "Stop it! I can do this!" Cosima struggles, but she's tired and can't put up much of a fight. Delphine easily gets the eyeliner out of her hands. "Let me do this!" Cosima yells weakly, and her voice cracks as she holds back a sob.
"Cosima!" Delphine says sharply. Cosima falls silent and stops trying to reach for the pen. Delphine's expression softens, and so does her voice. "Let me help you."
Cosima sniffles, just a little, but slowly she nods and lifts her head toward Delphine again. Delphine positions herself to stand in front of Cosima's perch on top of the counter. Her fingers are soft on Cosima's face, and her grip is delicate as she holds Cosima's head still. Delphine's thumb brushes the dry skin of Cosima's cheek and watches as her eyes flutter shut at the touch. She raises her other hand and slowly, steadily, traces the signature dark lines around Cosima's eyes.
Delphine draws the lines thick and dark, just how Cosima likes them. She takes extra care to make the wings at the corners of her eyes sharp as a knife. And when she's done, Delphine sets the pen down on the counter and uses her fingertips to lightly push Cosima's face toward the mirror so Cosima can take a look at her work.
Cosima's eyes study her own reflection, with her brow furrowed. She gazes into the mirror for almost a full minute, and then, a choked sob escapes from her throat. Her body lurches forward with her sobs, and Delphine reaches out to catch her, to hold her still.
Delphine's arms wrap around Cosima's shoulders, and Cosima falls forward, face buried in Delphine's chest, tears staining the fabric of her shirt as she cries.
There isn't much that Delphine can do, so she just holds Cosima and lets her cry. She keeps her still as sobs wrack her entire body. She traces her fingers in comforting circles on Cosima's back. She closes her eyes and holds Cosima a little tighter, wishing she could do more.
As Cosima's sobs turn into sniffles and her body stops shaking, Delphine pulls her back slightly, so Cosima can meet her gaze. Cosima's eyes are red and puffy, but god bless her penchant for waterproof makeup because the eyeliner is still perfectly intact. Delphine's lips quirk up into a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay," she whispers. "You're okay."
Cosima's expression doesn't change. There's still a frown on her lips and a darkness in her eyes that Delphine has never seen before. Delphine leans forward and her lips brush against Cosima's forehead as she places a soft kiss just beneath her hairline. She feels Cosima sigh beneath her at the touch.
Delphine crouches, so her face is at level with Cosima's and she rests their foreheads together. Cosima's eyes fall shut, and Delphine brushes her nose against Cosima's. "Je t'aime," Delphine whispers. The breath of her words ghosts across Cosima's lips, and Delphine finally sees those lips quirk up, ever so slightly, almost unnoticeable, in a contented smile.
"Thank you," Cosima sighs. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Well, you won't ever have to find out," Delphine says. Cosima is only getting weaker, but a cure is just around the corner, and Delphine will be there every step of the way. Delphine will apply her eyeliner, even if Cosima can't get out of bed, because the eyeliner is Cosima's crutch; it's practically a part of who she is. Cosima needs it to feel whole, and Delphine will make sure there is makeup around Cosima's eyes every single day until she's strong enough to do it herself.
Delphine kisses Cosima's lips gently. They're dry and chapped and hard, but they're still Cosima's lips, and it's Cosima's ragged breath against her mouth, and for now, that's enough.