I don't own Naruto nor Percy Jackson. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Rick Riordan respectively.

She couldn't believe that it had happened.

She was so sure in her victory, so certain that she would triumph over the fool that had dared to challenge her. She had been hunting and fighting for over a millennium, so there was no way some wet behind the ears teenage brat would be able to defeat her.

Especially when that brat was a boy.

But here she was kneeling on the ground panting in an attempt to regain her breath. Her parka was torn in several places as golden ichor oozed out of the open wounds that littered her body. Her normally perfect auburn hair—a tribute to her vanity—was in disarray, filled with twigs and dirt from when she was sent flying through the forest from one of his blows.

The girl ground her teeth in frustration and dug her hands into the loose earth. Pushing as hard as she could, she slowly started to lift herself off of the ground, shaking as she did so. Just as she had gotten half way up, the strength in her arms disappeared as she collapsed onto the ground, utterly spent.

The auburn-haired girl's eyes flashed with self-loathing and helplessness as she realized that there was nothing that she could do. And the worst part about the entire situation?

Her opponent wasn't even taking her seriously.

"Um, let's see, I know that I put it around here somewhere…"

The girl's eyebrow started to twitch violently. He wasn't even looking at her! The idiot blonde was rummaging through a pouch at his waist, not even paying attention to her! Before she could summon what little strength she had to berate him, the boy grinned triumphantly.

"Aha! I knew I had it in here!" Pulling out a crumpled up piece of paper, the blonde shook his hand a couple of times to straighten out the paper. He coughed into his first to clear his throat so that he could speak. Raising the paper to eye level, he began to read.

"How to gloat like a super bad guy…"

If it was possible, the downed female's eyebrow started to twitch even more violently. Not only was she defeated easily, he looked to humiliate her even further with his useless drivel! She would not let this stand!

"'Step 1: Defeat good guy with ease.'" Looking at his prone opponent over the top of the sheet, he nodded to himself. "Check."

"'Step 2: Choose one of the following: (1) Stand over your opponent's body and tilt your head back, looking down your nose at them.' Meh, it isn't my style. Maybe the next one will be better. '(2) Turn around and don't look at your opponent, as if they are not worth the effort.'" the boy shook his head. "That one was even worse than the last!" Looking at the last one, he read out "'(3) Laugh maniacally'"

The boy looked at all three of the options and he was stumped. He didn't really like any of them, but he had to choose one of them. It was his job to be the bad guy for now! Kneeling down next to the girl, he started to poke her in her back.

"Ne, ne, could you help me with this? I don't know which one to pick…"

The girl only shot a murderous glare at him. She was not amused by this at all, and there was no chance that she would partake in this.

Instead of quailing in fear, the boy only shut his eyes and gave the girl a wide smile. "I agree! I'll skip this step and come back to it later! Where would I be without you, Tsuki-chan!"

The boy smirked when he heard the sound of teeth grinding. Yes, her name wasn't Tsuki, but the nickname did annoy her to no end. He forgot how fun it was to irritate people.

"'Step 3: Finish gloat and punctuate it with an awesome attack. Walk away like a badass'".

Hearing this, the girl's eyes widened with fear. She could barely move, and he wasn't even done yet! She had to leave, she had to go and warn the others about the threat that this man posed!"

She started to gather her power to teleport away from where she was. Using some of it to try and heave herself up, her hopes were immediately but when a heavy boot crashed into her head, driving her back into the ground and pinning her.

"Nuh uh uh, can't have you leaving right now. Don't want the your family knowing that I am here. Things could get really messy if that happened."

After he had said this, his entire demeanor changed. He straightened his posture and squared his shoulders, his smile melting off of his face. Brow furrowing, the boy bent over until he was able to level a finger at the girl's face. Before she could wonder what he was doing, a ball of energy started to charge at the end of the digit, causing her eyes to widen even further in fear.

"But that wouldn't be the first time that you got me into a mess, wouldn't it?"

Some of the fear disappeared as the girl pondered what she had just been asked. If his question meant anything, it would mean that the two of them had met before, and she had done something that had hurt him. However, she couldn't recall where she had met such a man before! Sure, he was a male and she hated them, but even she would care to remember one that was this powerful, free roaming no less!

Despite all these facts, the girl still had a horrible feeling. She felt that she knew him from somewhere, but she just couldn't remember where. It kept eating away at her, like trying to remember a dream the morning after.

"I suppose you wouldn't remember me, would you? It's not like you cared for me or loved me, you only had attention for my sister. She was born female while I was born a 'disgusting' male", he sneered.

This really got the girl, to wrack her brains. Sister? She had a connection to his sister? He spoke of their birth, so it must have been fifteen to twenty years ago, but what had happened then? It was on the tip of her tongue, yet the answer kept escaping my the slimmest of margins.

"But it's okay. I'm not here for you. I don't care that you don't care for me, I don't care that you think I am an abomination. I'm here for my sister, she has something of mine that she has no right to." A sinister grin split his whiskered face, sending a shiver down the girl's spine.

"And I can't have you in the way. Don't you agree? It's what's needed to be done, don't you agree, Kaa-san?"

The last thing that Artemis heard was the gleeful announcement of the attack's name before she was overcome by a bright light and searing pain.

"Bijuudama"

A girl snapped awake and shot up in bed, breathing heavily. Running a hand through her sweat-stained red hair, she reached over and picked up her bottle of water from where it sat next to her bedding. Raising the bottle to her lips she drank greedily from the bottle, quickly emptying the container of its contents.

"What was that..?"

It was a horrible dream. She understood that her kind had semi-prophetic dreams, but something like this had never happened before. She usually had visions of the Hunt or her next prey, but not something like this!

Stepping out of the tent, she quickly made her way past the silver wolves that were prowling the perimeter and headed for a specific tent. There was only one person that could help her right now with her mother gone.

She was where the redhead was expecting her to be. Her older sister was a dedicated and hard worker, volunteering to take as many of the night watches as possible so the rest of her sisters could rest and recuperate. This selfless show of camaraderie and many other traits of the woman made the redhead admire her greatly.

Walking up to the tree that her older sister was situated in, she grabbed a low branch. Hoisting herself up, she quickly climbed up the tree and sat herself next to the elder girl. "Zoe, could I ask you a question?"

Zoe's didn't reply, but she did turn to look at her fellow Huntress. Slacking slightly, Zoe raised a hand to the hem of her hood and pulled it down, exposing her face to her junior. "What dost thou need, Mitsuki?"

Mitsuki took a moment to admire Zoe's features. She had been told time and time again that she was a beauty in the making, but Mitsuki personally thought that Zoe was the more beautiful of the two. Between her Persian features with her copper skin and brown eyes along with long dark hair, she cut a striking figure. Unfortunately, this was offset by her diction, one that was outdated…by about four centuries. It made her a tad bit difficult for others to understand initially.

"Could I ask you a question?"

Zoe raised an eyebrow, but complied. "Ask thy question swiftly, thou need thy strength in the morning."

"Is Mom alright?"

This shocked Zoe. Both of them had great faith in their Lady's abilities, but Mitsuki held that belief to a ridiculous degree, thinking that her mother was night invincible. The fact that she asked such a question was downright strange.

"What brought on thy curiosity? Thou have great faith in our Lady's strength."

Sighing, Mitsuki ran her hand through her hair again, he well-known coping mechanism, as she recounted the dream that she just had.

Zoe had a look of concentration. "How sure art thou of thy dream?"

The redhead looked helpless. "I'm not sure, it's probably just a stupid dream—"

Mitsuki was immediately cut off. "No, thy dream art not a figment of thou imagination. Thou art a demigod, one of our Lady's. I am forced to admit that there art some truth in thy claim."

"What are we supposed to do then?"

Zoe placed an arm on Mitsuki's shoulder. "Thou needst thy rest. Retire to you tent, and we will continue in the morning."

Mitsuki stomped her foot. "No! We need to go now! Mom might be in trouble."

"And what dost thou plan to do? Thou art exhausted from today's hunt, and thou art rested enough to be any more than a hindrance to Lady Artemis. If the Lady doesn't return by the morning, we will organize a search party in the morning!" Zoe growled in a raised tone.

Seeing Mitsuki flinch, Zoe's eyes softened as she wrapped her adopted younger sister in a hug. "Thou devotion to our Lady is admirable, but allow it not to cloud thy vision. Our lady cares much for you, much more than any other huntress." Sensing that Mitsuki was about to object, the elder huntress pulled back and placed a finger on her lips.

"Thou know that is true. Thou art our Lady's daughter. She will care for thou first and foremost."

Pulling her back into the hug, Zoe rocked back and forth to lull Mitsuki back to sleep. Feeling the redhead relax and hearing her breathing become slower and deeper, Zoe got up and brought the girl back to her tent.

Stepping inside, Zoe gently placed Mitsuki on her bedding. Leaning down, she kissed her junior on her forehead, smiling when she saw her wriggle a bit.

Stepping out of the tent, a scowl spread across Zoe's face. The monster who dared to attack her lady would pay. She could already imagine it, sinking her arrows into the abomination that had so grievously injured and humiliated Lady Artemis.

She growled. What kind of sick monster would dare to do this to Artemis. Surely it was a freak, an anomaly, an aberration of nature. A monster that even those that dwelled in the depths of Tartarus would shudder at the sheer vileness and darkness.

"Ha! Fifty marshmallows! I told you I could do it Now pay up!"

Naruto was grinning triumphantly as a pile of moist marshmallows sat on the table in front of him. It was always nice to win a bet.

The mint-haired girl sitting next to him took a fifty dollar bill and pushed it into his outstretched hand. Instead of being irritated by the loss though, the girl was starry-eyed. "Wow sempai, that's so cool! I didn't know your could fit that many marshmallows in a mouth." Clasping her hands in front of herself, she started to beg. "Show me how to do it. Please?"

A scoff interrupted their conversation. Turning their heads, they spotted a red haired bearded old man shooting them both a look of disgust. "Fuu, you should not condone such immature antics. It is unbecoming of one of the tails. And Naruto! You're supposed to be our leader! Back in my day, leaders would not embarrass themselves in such a manner! In fact—"

The old man was cut off by a pie that hit his face. "Nobody cares Roshi!" Naruto shouted, his hand still extended from the throw. "We don't want to hear about the times when you were trying to discipline a caveman or something!"

The blonde's statement was punctuated by the pie, which had chosen to fall off of Roshi's face. Naruto had to hold in his laughter when he saw the death glare that was sent his way. Sure, it might be intimidating to some, but the entire effect was ruined by the whipped cream and pie filling that covered the old man's face.

Raising one of his hands, Roshi placed it by his forehead and forced it downward, wiping away most of the dessert. Fuu only looked on in childish wonder. "Ooh jiji, your face is turning really red!" Looking up at his hair and then down at his face a few times, Fuu shut her eyes and nodded to herself. "Yep, he's almost as red as his hair. I'm jealous, that takes a lot of skill…"

Roshi was about to start screaming at the two he viewed as immature brats, but the room was spared the tirade by a bubble that formed around Roshi's head. He was too far gone to notice that it had happened, evidenced by the fact that his mouth was still moving as he flailed his arms.

The source of the bubble was seated next to Roshi. The teen was still blowing bubbles out of his blower with his eyes closed, a tranquil look on his face. Lowering the blower from his lips, he opened his eyes as his face set into an annoyed look, "Roshi, you woke me up. Again." He ran a hand through his shoulder length brown hair with a sigh. "At least show the same amount of consideration that Han does when I am asleep."

The aforementioned Han was seated across from the brown haired teen. "…Utakata", he said, acknowledging what the brown haired teen said.

Fuu leapt out of her seat next to Han and landed in his lap. Kneeling, Fuu pushed her ear to Han's lips. "Eh? What did you say Han?"

Naruto had to bite back a laugh when he saw what she was doing. Yes, she was getting way too close to Han, but the image was made comical by the stark difference between the two people. Fuu was borderline scantily clad, and was quite small and frail-looking compared to Han. Han on the other hand was a giant. Easily the tallest out of the entire group, almost his enter body was covered in armor. The only parts of him that was exposed were his eyes and the bridge of his nose.

"…Move."

Fuu turned her head and looked into Han's eyes, confused. "Moo? You want a cow? I know your big Han, but you shouldn't be eating now!" The entire admonishment was accompanied by the frequent patting of Han's head, as if she was talking to a child.

Naruto could no longer hold in his mirth as he fell out of his chair and rolled on the ground, clutching his stomach. There were days that he wondered why he formed this group, and it was days like this that he was reminded of the answer. He really couldn't get entertainment elsewhere like he could from this group. They were one of a kind.

The blonde's laughter was brutally cut short when a fist buried itself in his stomach, driving the air out of his lungs. As he laid on the ground deciding whether it was better to gasp for air or continue laughing, Fuu decided to greet the newcomer.

"Hey Yugito! Long time no see!" Blurring out of Han's lap, she appeared on Yugito's back, seated it between her shoulder. Leaning over, Fuu locked eyes with the older blonde upside down. "Did you bring me a present?"

A cough came from beneath her fist. "Yeah Yugito…long time no see…what was the punch for?"

Yugito's eyes flashed dangerously. "You need to be more serious! How can you expect to be taken seriously when you do childish things like this!"

Naruto appeared back in front of the female blonde with no sign of the attack he suffered, thrusting a finger in her face. "I'll kick their ass if they don't respect me. Even so, why aren't you punching Fuu? She's worse than I am?"

They both looked up at Fuu who was pouting at Naruto for what he had said. Looking away, she grasped Yugito's bandaged ponytail and started to play with it.

Yugito looked torn between glomping Fuu or pushing her face up against Naruto's in defiance. In the end, she decided to settle for a weird combination of the two.

"It's because the immature act fits her, and she isn't our leader!"

Before the two of them could delve further into their now-routine argument, they were interrupted by a cough. Looking over, a child-looking man with gray hair greeted their sight. "I know the two of you have to get back to your…heated debate, but we really should move on with this meeting." He pointed a finger at Naruto. "After all, this isn't one of our regular meetings. You called us because you said that you had some important news."

"So says the midget!"

Naruto's outburst caused the Mizukage to develop a slight twitch. Before anyone could say so much as a single word, he exploded, losing the former decorum.

"I'M NOT A MIDGET! SO WHAT IF I'M NOT AS TALL AS THE REST OF YOU FREAKS!" the child-man exclaimed, gesturing wildly at Han.

Utakata took this opportunity to blow a few more bubbles. "He's right Yagura. You're short."

This seemed to break Yagura's spirit. Crouching in the corner of the room, he was covered in shadows as an aura of depression emanated from him. As he drew circles on the ground with his finger, he kept muttering the same word.

"Short…"

Roshi, who was finished his lecture, had also popped the bubble. There was no point of trying to admonish Utakata, he was able to tune out Roshi and his advice for some reason. He laid back in his chair, hoping that he wouldn't draw any attention from the more eccentric people present.

Despite talking back, Naruto understood what Yagura meant. They were all busy people, and they could not afford to waste time. They would get an opportunity later, but now was not the time nor place.

Reappearing in his chair, Naruto started to speak in a formal tone that honestly didn't suit him. "I have called you all here today to share some important news. Earlier…"

Naruto was interrupted by an apple that hit him in the face. Looking up, he noticed Fuu sending him a cute glare from her spot on top of Yugito. "Talk normally, not like a stuffy blowhard!"

Naruto shrugged. He didn't care much for formality either, but he would get an earful from Roshi later. Considering his option, he decided to drop the formality. Nothing Roshi could do would amount anything close to what a pissed off Fuu could do to him.

"As I was saying, earlier this week I managed to…"

Naruto stopped as he noticed something that he probably should have noticed earlier. "Where is B and Gaara?"

Before anyone could answer, the metallic smell of blood greeted their sensitive noses. Looking at the entrance, a stoic redhead entered the room. "I am here, mother."

Naruto sighed as he heard what Gaara called him. "Why did he start calling me that again? Oh yeah, when I first recruited him he was a child and I was in my female form, and he got attached to me." Naruto didn't care that he could turn into a girl. It helped with some infiltration missions when the generally male security forces or targets started to think with their lower heads than their proper ones. It also helped to help Gaara with his insanity. Sure, he still had his episodes that Miyuki, Naruto's female form, could only calm him down from, but he was generally sane.

If you discount the fact that he regular crushed people with the gourd of sand that he carried on his back as a sacrifice to his 'mother'. For some reason, he thought that what Miyuki had done for him necessitated repayment in the form of blood.

Yeah, he was still a messed up person.

Gaara sat down in his seat as the rest of the people acknowledged his presence. Some of them might have been wary of him after initially meeting him, but they got used to his mannerisms after knowing him for a while.

"And B?"

This time, it was Yugito who answered.

"He actually came with me, but we came across an ice cream truck on the way here. Then he made a stupid rap about ice cream before I gave him some money and he took off after the truck."

"And you didn't stop him why?"

Yugito grinned viciously. "Because I knew it would annoy you."

This caused Naruto to start rubbing his temples to alleviate the head ache that he knew was coming. Was this how the Third Hokage felt dealing with his antics when he was younger? If he ever met him again, Naruto would be sure to apologize.

The entrance opened one more time and B leapt into the room. Landing standing up in his chair to Naruto's left, he struck a pose. "Hold on, you see, it's me, the magnificent Killer B! Whee!"

Naruto face palmed as he heard the terrible rap. Everyone knew he was bad at it, but B would never stop. Yugito got up to brain B for his attempt, but Naruto waved her off. As terrible as the rap was, Naruto let it slide. They really needed to get a move on.

"Alright, now that we're all here. I can finally share the news."

With this, everyone got serious. Fuu got off of her living seat and sat down in her seat to Naruto's right. B dropped his pose and settled down in his seat. Next to him, Utakata stopped slouching. Yagura returned from his corner, all signs of depression gone, and Yugito walked over and sat down in her own seat. This was the real start, and there was no tolerance of any sort of tomfoolery whatsoever.

"Yesterday, I managed to locate Artemis, and I confirmed what we suspected. Mitsuki is under the care of Artemis as one of her huntresses."

Utakata was the first to voice his reaction. "I'm impressed that you managed to do so without alerting Artemis to your presence. I know that you are the best at stealth amongst us, but she is not an Olympian for nothing."

Naruto was strangely silent when Utakata said this. Noticing this, the bubble blower grew incredulous. "You did escape her notice, correct?"

Yugito slammed her fist on the table. "Damn it Naruto! I know you have a history with that woman, but—"

Yugito was cut off when the temperature dropped. Naruto's power flared, and Yugito started to have a little difficulty breathing. Clenching her fists, she broke out in a sweat as she tried not to show any sign of weakness. It was times like this that reminded her that no matter how Naruto acted, she was far more powerful than the rest of them, on a level that she probably couldn't comprehend.

"You would be wise not to mention by history with that man-hating bitch." Despite Naruto's anger, he was not shouting. Rather he said it in a stone cold tone, and that coupled with the complete lack of warmth in his eyes, something that was almost always there, was far more scary than any shouting from Naruto.

"Don't forget your place Yugito, and don't forget that this is my plan. I know what I am doing. If she knows of my presence and knows of my target, that is my will, and part of my plan. Not yours! It would be best if you don't scold me like a child at every turn!", his voice rising at the end.

The rest watched on impassively, slightly perturbed. Naruto was known for his kindness and compassion back home. Seeing him fly off the handle so easily was a bit unsettling. Nothing could enrage Naruto quicker than the mention of that woman, despite how much he said that he doesn't care about her.

Naruto exhaled deeply as he sat down. It was another one of his pet peeves. He might be the youngest of the Nine, but that did not give the others the right to baby him. This was the quickest way to get on his shit list, other than mentioning his mother in any way.

They were still looking for all of the pieces of the last person who did both at the same time.

Naruto had some real mommy issues.

Tenting his fingers in front of him, Naruto continued in a calmer tone as his voice gradually became warmer. "Artemis is aware of my presence, and she knows my target." He turned one of his hands outward, exposing his palm, to placate any voiced objections. "My little show of power scared her. I realize this sounds stupid, but she will now be more concerned about protecting her little pride and joy and hunting myself to even think if I have allies. This will allow you all to move more fluidly."

The others nodded, his plan finally making sense to them. They had their own parts, but none of them had to directly confront Artemis or Mitsuki like he did.

"You have your parts. Any questions?"

It was Fuu who asked the only question, surprisingly without her usual immaturity. Maybe his outburst earlier had rattled them more than he thought. "What are you going to do then, sempai?"

Naruto grinned. "I have a plan to get them to trust me, even if slightly. Don't worry about it, all good things to those who wait."

Naruto looked around, silently asking if there were any more questions. No one raised their voice. Turning towards the exit, he made for the door at a faster than called for pace.

"Alright then, you're all dismissed. I'm needed elsewhere."

Of course, this was the time that B decided to speak up. As the companion who had been with Naruto the longest, he was more used to his outbursts. More importantly, he knew exactly how to raise Naruto's ire.

"Nuh uh, we ain't taking the fall, I know when you're going for a booty call."

This caused Naruto, to freeze. Swinging around, he looked at the assembled people who were staring at both him and B with shock. Naruto gulped, the aura of the leader he had earlier completely shattering.

"U-uh, wh-what? I h-have no idea wh-what y-y-your talking ab-about" The panic was obvious on his face, and his sweating nor stuttering was helping him sound any more honest.

Yugito looked like she had just got the canary. "Oh, what's this? Our adorable little leader has finally became a man?" She started to giggle as looks of mirth crossed the faces of the other members.

Gaara didn't like how the stupid cat was teasing his mother, so he came to his defense. Unfortunately, said defense was a little less than helpful. "Stop bothering mother. If he wants to see the Uchiha or the Earth Goddess, who are we to judge?"

Naruto's head snapped in the redhead's direction, his neck cracking at the same time. "How do you know that?" Feeling a sense of foreboding, he mentally went over what he just said. "I mean, I have no idea what you're talking about…?" he added weakly.

"Looks like Nine-o has done the deed, let's hope though that he wasn't sewing any seeds. Whee!"

"Naruto's head jerked back as he glared at B. "You're not helping!"

Before anyone else could join in to needle Naruto, Fuu broke in with a curious tone. "Um, what does B mean by 'sewing seeds'?"

That managed to kill the joke really quickly. Naruto looked at Fuu incredulously. "You don't know about the birds and the bees?"

"I like bees!"

There was a moment of silence as everyone tried to digest what had just been said.

Naruto was the first one to recover. Crossing his arms in front of him in an X, he shook his head. "No, there is no way that I am getting into this. You all have your parts, until next we meet!" He punctuate the goodbye with a flash of red, carrying him to some unknown destination.

"Screw this crap, Imma go write some rap." B dissolved into ink and fell to the ground, signaling his departure. Utakata was almost as fast, covering himself with a bubble and floating away as fast as he could.

Han used the steam in his suit to greatly enhance his speed and high tail it out of there. There were very few things that fazed him, and giving 'The Talk' to a teenage girl was one of them. He was not going to suffer a repeat of last time.

Yugito grabbed onto Yagura as both of them disappeared in a water shunshin. Gaara disappeared in a similar way, only his stylized to be done with sand.

Roshi looked shocked as he surveyed the room. "They left me. Those brats left me!" Before he could get any further in his tirade, he felt someone tugging at the hem of his shirt. Looking down, he saw the pitiful face of Fuu looking up at him. "Will you tell me about the birds and the bees jiji?"

The elderly redhead looked around, hoping to find something to distract Fuu long enough for him to escape. Failing to do so, he turned back to Fuu who looked even more pitiful than before, if that was possible. "Please?"

Roshi could only curse his fellow members of Tails mentally. "Fuck you guys for leaving an old man in this situation! In my day, it wasn't the old man who gave the talk without looking like a lecher!"

Sitting down, Roshi motioned for Fuu to do the same as he mentally prepared himself to destroy Fuu's concept of the male and female gender.

"You see, Fuu…when a man and a woman love each other very much, they do…things…together."

"What kind of things?"

Roshi cried inwardly. It was going to be a long night.

Yeah, so that's that. Tell me what you think about it in the Reviews!