Sonne accepted the words presented to her. She accepted the emphasis on
"Be steadfast."
What Was:
It was quite pleasant, looking out of the window at the White Tower. Home in Tar Valon, all around her, her glorious city. Sonne soon became aware, though, that she was merely an observer, but she was still calm. A baby giggled in her crib. Two loving parents swarmed over her; the home decorated in soft blues and greens. This couple had some amount of money, it seemed, but all they could look at was their baby. The father was a lanky man; Sonne did not recognize him but vaguely, and he seemed to be of mixed descent, but clearly part Shienaran. What was presumably his sword, of Shienaran design, hung sheathed in black above the hearth. It was the only black in the room, thought his hair almost matched it. He did not wear it in a topknot, though; it was long and looked much the texture and waviness as Sonne's did in the present. The man picked up his child and held her in his arms. "How much left to pack? We must leave for the Borderlands before nightfall." Sonne observed the sun starting to set beside her now beloved Tower. A smiling mother approached father and daughter at the table. Sonne immediately knew that this was her mother, and that was her father. so the child must be she. The mother-her mother-brought a small bowl and spoon of porridge. "Feed her, and I'll fetch the rest of her things." It was a loving order as she kissed the baby and her husband. "Erienla?" The woman called, and there in the room appeared a girl of about seven years, dressed like nobility. With three suitcases, she'd packed like a queen. "The books stay behind, love," the mother said, "We can't look suspicious." The young girl, also with dark hair and green eyes, frowned. "If it's for Sonne, then I will leave the books. I do love to read, though." "Hush," the father warned, "or the Brown sisters will come for you, liking to read so much." "But they don't want me," Erienla educated her father, "It's Sonne they want, that's why we are leaving."
A sister. Light, I have a sister. Had a sister.
Suddenly, a rap at the door. "How could they know?" the worried mother exclaimed. She took Erienla's hand and stood firmly in the center of the lavishly decorated home. The door opened, and three sisters of the Green Ajah walked in. Sonne did not recognize any of them as her mentors, which relieved her, but what the sisters were obviously here for did not. "You were going to leave with the child," one of them said, calmly, as Sonne had later been trained to give orders. "You will hand her to us, now. You know what the bargain was, Marachelle, Madaran, we would make it so that you could have children, if one of the girls was ours." "But I could be yours!" Erienla broke in, attempting to save her sister, "I want to join the Brown Ajah, because father says I like to read, and I have to bring my books-" The lead Aes Sedai outstretched her arms, but Madaran would not hand over his child. Marachelle blocked Erienla as well. And then a Warder stepped through, hand on the hilt of a sword. Marachelle wept; watching, Sonne did also.
Mother. you are my mother, and I your child. It is not the Amyrlin that is the Mother, it is you.
Sonne screamed, but nobody could hear. "No!" This was not what she'd been told; the other harsh story about her mother not wanting her had been easier to bear. They made a deal, though, with Aes Sedai, and expected to remain unbound? Her loyalties divided and emotions afray, the setting sun in the window pane turned into the Arch of the ter'angreal. Still screaming, now crying hysterically, Sonne watched as her father was forced to hand her over to the Warder. He didn't know how to hold a baby, and quickly passed her to the Green sister, who snatched her. She watched her father lunge at the Warder, unarmed though the Warder was, and made herself fall through the Arch.
Naked, on the cold stone gray floor, in a heap of tears. "I will continue," she said, anticipating that the Aes Sedai might ask. She was one of them now; one of those who made arrangements to steal babies. To steal her, and her father just.
Be steadfast.
For What Is:
Sonne awoke in the woods this time, unsure of where she was. Her arms were not quite visible; she was wrapped in a Warder's cloak. Johnethan's cloak. He was to be her Warder and husband. She felt as safe in his cloak as she would in his arms. but where was he? Standing at the foot of the bed he'd made for her hours before, staring at the moon, for once not watchful of all that could be around him. "Come to bed," she'd told him, smiling half-seductively, "You've done your watch for the night; it is time for me to set a simple warding about us so that you may sleep." She could feel how exhausted he felt, even yet without a bond. When they were bonded, would his exhaust drain her, or could she make him stronger? He obeyed, though-as husband to be, or Warder to be, or both? Johnethan lay beside her, stroking her hair and turning her two rings. And then, he cried. "The dark is closing in on us, my Sonne," he spoke, sobbing with his head beneath her neck, "I cannot protect you. What if I cannot protect you?" Sonne felt an extreme loss of control. She did always depend on him to be there to protect her, and in turn, she would use every means within her powers to protect him. Never, though, never did she expect him to lose his composure. It was difficult for her to control her own, she was sure, and she always drew strength from his presence and knew she would literally through their bond so that she could face any challenge as calmly or as bravely as her Aes Sedai title would demand. And here he was, in pieces. "If I ever failed you as a husband, I would take my own life. But to fail you as a Warder would mean that I had also failed as a husband. I am to protect you from a world that is too dark." Clouds circulated above them, but Sonne did not mind. Water being her strongest weave, she could control how it fell or where. And she could heal well. but how would she heal this? And then the arch appeared, necessary for her to stand and walk through.
No, I cannot leave him like this, almost-Gaidin, almost-husband, always- protector.
Forcing herself, she crawled through. "I will go on."
Be steadfast.
What Will Be:
She watched Johnethan; was he praying? He was hurt, he was mourning, but what? Lightning crashed above. No water fell.
"Allow some water for our fields!" he cried, "the people starve, even here in the streets of Tar Valon, next to dry rivers. Why did you take her! Why!?" He knelt, bowing his head to his sword. She knew the canteen at his side was empty. The bond that was almost there before was not there; she could not feel it. Yet she knew it had come and gone. And then Sonne knew: she had died. He mourned for her. "A year, and no water. She is no sacrifice for that. She brought water down for us, for the people, with the others, starving with no rain, and then you take her! Her mission was to help, and all you did was destroy!" Johnethan stood, waving his sword to the sky. "I have no kingdom and I am no slave! I was for her, she was my rain and my living day! And now what am I to do? I will die!" He shrunk to the ground as if he'd given up on everything and everyone. "I will not take another." He cried, and cried, and Sonne needed to hold him, but knew that no matter what, he would certainly die.
She stepped out this time, walking and Accepted.
What Was:
It was quite pleasant, looking out of the window at the White Tower. Home in Tar Valon, all around her, her glorious city. Sonne soon became aware, though, that she was merely an observer, but she was still calm. A baby giggled in her crib. Two loving parents swarmed over her; the home decorated in soft blues and greens. This couple had some amount of money, it seemed, but all they could look at was their baby. The father was a lanky man; Sonne did not recognize him but vaguely, and he seemed to be of mixed descent, but clearly part Shienaran. What was presumably his sword, of Shienaran design, hung sheathed in black above the hearth. It was the only black in the room, thought his hair almost matched it. He did not wear it in a topknot, though; it was long and looked much the texture and waviness as Sonne's did in the present. The man picked up his child and held her in his arms. "How much left to pack? We must leave for the Borderlands before nightfall." Sonne observed the sun starting to set beside her now beloved Tower. A smiling mother approached father and daughter at the table. Sonne immediately knew that this was her mother, and that was her father. so the child must be she. The mother-her mother-brought a small bowl and spoon of porridge. "Feed her, and I'll fetch the rest of her things." It was a loving order as she kissed the baby and her husband. "Erienla?" The woman called, and there in the room appeared a girl of about seven years, dressed like nobility. With three suitcases, she'd packed like a queen. "The books stay behind, love," the mother said, "We can't look suspicious." The young girl, also with dark hair and green eyes, frowned. "If it's for Sonne, then I will leave the books. I do love to read, though." "Hush," the father warned, "or the Brown sisters will come for you, liking to read so much." "But they don't want me," Erienla educated her father, "It's Sonne they want, that's why we are leaving."
A sister. Light, I have a sister. Had a sister.
Suddenly, a rap at the door. "How could they know?" the worried mother exclaimed. She took Erienla's hand and stood firmly in the center of the lavishly decorated home. The door opened, and three sisters of the Green Ajah walked in. Sonne did not recognize any of them as her mentors, which relieved her, but what the sisters were obviously here for did not. "You were going to leave with the child," one of them said, calmly, as Sonne had later been trained to give orders. "You will hand her to us, now. You know what the bargain was, Marachelle, Madaran, we would make it so that you could have children, if one of the girls was ours." "But I could be yours!" Erienla broke in, attempting to save her sister, "I want to join the Brown Ajah, because father says I like to read, and I have to bring my books-" The lead Aes Sedai outstretched her arms, but Madaran would not hand over his child. Marachelle blocked Erienla as well. And then a Warder stepped through, hand on the hilt of a sword. Marachelle wept; watching, Sonne did also.
Mother. you are my mother, and I your child. It is not the Amyrlin that is the Mother, it is you.
Sonne screamed, but nobody could hear. "No!" This was not what she'd been told; the other harsh story about her mother not wanting her had been easier to bear. They made a deal, though, with Aes Sedai, and expected to remain unbound? Her loyalties divided and emotions afray, the setting sun in the window pane turned into the Arch of the ter'angreal. Still screaming, now crying hysterically, Sonne watched as her father was forced to hand her over to the Warder. He didn't know how to hold a baby, and quickly passed her to the Green sister, who snatched her. She watched her father lunge at the Warder, unarmed though the Warder was, and made herself fall through the Arch.
Naked, on the cold stone gray floor, in a heap of tears. "I will continue," she said, anticipating that the Aes Sedai might ask. She was one of them now; one of those who made arrangements to steal babies. To steal her, and her father just.
Be steadfast.
For What Is:
Sonne awoke in the woods this time, unsure of where she was. Her arms were not quite visible; she was wrapped in a Warder's cloak. Johnethan's cloak. He was to be her Warder and husband. She felt as safe in his cloak as she would in his arms. but where was he? Standing at the foot of the bed he'd made for her hours before, staring at the moon, for once not watchful of all that could be around him. "Come to bed," she'd told him, smiling half-seductively, "You've done your watch for the night; it is time for me to set a simple warding about us so that you may sleep." She could feel how exhausted he felt, even yet without a bond. When they were bonded, would his exhaust drain her, or could she make him stronger? He obeyed, though-as husband to be, or Warder to be, or both? Johnethan lay beside her, stroking her hair and turning her two rings. And then, he cried. "The dark is closing in on us, my Sonne," he spoke, sobbing with his head beneath her neck, "I cannot protect you. What if I cannot protect you?" Sonne felt an extreme loss of control. She did always depend on him to be there to protect her, and in turn, she would use every means within her powers to protect him. Never, though, never did she expect him to lose his composure. It was difficult for her to control her own, she was sure, and she always drew strength from his presence and knew she would literally through their bond so that she could face any challenge as calmly or as bravely as her Aes Sedai title would demand. And here he was, in pieces. "If I ever failed you as a husband, I would take my own life. But to fail you as a Warder would mean that I had also failed as a husband. I am to protect you from a world that is too dark." Clouds circulated above them, but Sonne did not mind. Water being her strongest weave, she could control how it fell or where. And she could heal well. but how would she heal this? And then the arch appeared, necessary for her to stand and walk through.
No, I cannot leave him like this, almost-Gaidin, almost-husband, always- protector.
Forcing herself, she crawled through. "I will go on."
Be steadfast.
What Will Be:
She watched Johnethan; was he praying? He was hurt, he was mourning, but what? Lightning crashed above. No water fell.
"Allow some water for our fields!" he cried, "the people starve, even here in the streets of Tar Valon, next to dry rivers. Why did you take her! Why!?" He knelt, bowing his head to his sword. She knew the canteen at his side was empty. The bond that was almost there before was not there; she could not feel it. Yet she knew it had come and gone. And then Sonne knew: she had died. He mourned for her. "A year, and no water. She is no sacrifice for that. She brought water down for us, for the people, with the others, starving with no rain, and then you take her! Her mission was to help, and all you did was destroy!" Johnethan stood, waving his sword to the sky. "I have no kingdom and I am no slave! I was for her, she was my rain and my living day! And now what am I to do? I will die!" He shrunk to the ground as if he'd given up on everything and everyone. "I will not take another." He cried, and cried, and Sonne needed to hold him, but knew that no matter what, he would certainly die.
She stepped out this time, walking and Accepted.