Author's Note: sequel to Merlin's Enemy. I have now made a proper plan to these oneshots, keep an eye out for the next one called Merlin's Laundry.
Gaius had been working on some healing potions when the door suddenly banged open. Without turning round Gaius sighed heavily and asked, "What magical creature is trying to kill Arthur now, Merlin?"
"As far as I'm aware none," Arthur said a little irritated that Gaius and Merlin seem to talk about him behind his back. Gwaine and Lancelot were sniggering behind him which infuriated him even more. "According to Merlin you're the best fighter of Camelot since you killed Morgause. I want to prove him wrong, I want to prove to Camelot that I am the best fighter."
Gaius felt the urge to grab a headache potion. Stupid teenage boys and their testosterone, determined to plague him for the remaining years of his life...
"Hang on, I thought we agreed I was the better fighter after Gaius," Gwaine said. "After all I saved you far too many times to count."
"Yes but how many fighting competitions have you won? And I believe I saved Gwen more than either you ever have," Lancelot argued.
"It doesn't matter who saved who how many times!" Arthur snapped. "I'm Crowned Prince and therefore I am the better fighter. I'm also the better teacher since I taught you pair of idiots a few things and Merlin – who is the definition of an idiot – everything."
"You're not a teacher, you're a torturer!" Gwaine shouted remembering poor Merlin suffering during their training. "And I think I taught Merlin better than you, he now knows how to defend himself at pubs."
"Gwaine, Merlin shouldn't be in bar fights to begin with," Lancelot said. "Stop having Merlin fight your battles like he does for Arthur, you don't have the excuse of being the Crowned Prat."
"Excuse me, what did you just call me?" Arthur said raising an eyebrow. Lancelot was obviously spending far too much time with Merlin...maybe he should assign him more stable duty to keep him away from the big-eared blue eyed idiot. "You should show your sovereign more respect if you wish to continue being a knight."
"And what exactly have you taught Merlin, oh great mighty one?" Gwaine asked smarmily.
"I have taught Merlin to believe in himself," Lancelot said proudly puffing his chest out.
Arthur and Gwaine burst out laughing. "Y-y-you pansy!" Gwaine burst out. "How silly is that?" he roared as he leaned on Arthur for support. "All Merlin needs to believe in himself is to get away from this great prat and work for me. I'll teach him all he needs to know," Gwaine said with an added layer of innuendo in his voice.
Arthur pushed Gwaine off him and into the bookcase causing a few books to fall and Gaius to groan. He then pulled out his sword, :Lancelot and Gwaine quickly following. "We'll see who taught Merlin and is the better teacher," Arthur said coolly, "the one to live is the better mentor."
Gaius snapped. "That's it!" he shouted, he snatched the three swords out of the young men's hands before they could even blink. "I have you three know that I've been a scholar before you were even twinkles in your fathers' eyes. I have fought dreadful battles while I was changing your nappy Arthur Uther Pendragon!" Arthur blushed and the two other knights snickered at his misfortune. "I have taught Merlin medicine, knowledge of the world, how to fight, how to respect, how to act like a proper courtier in this court, how to take care of people and most of all how to let your – and I'm including all three of you here – stupidity bounce off of him. If anyone is the better mentor and teacher it is me, all you taught him Gwaine is not to drink, Arthur you only taught him what a great big prat you are, Lancelot you taught him nothing, in fact the only one whose taught anyone anything in these past few months has been Merlin who learnt it all from me! Now get out, stay out or I'll make you clean my leech tank!"
The three young men stared at him with their mouths wide open. They were so shocked over the usually gentle elderly man's outburst that they didn't realise they were being herded out of his chambers until his door slammed shut in their faces.
Gaius sighed heavily and rubbed his temples. A headache potion, a nice drink...maybe some ale those three induced binge drinking, and a rest. When Merlin finally shows his face he'll be forced to do horrible things like cleaning the leech tank for putting him through such torture.
A smirk formed on his face.
He'll show them all why he was the better teacher, starting with a vomit inducing potion. That will teach them for interrupting his quiet time.