(It's another great one-off! And this one's a sequel, no less... but don't worry. Reading The Vampire of Veldin and/or Skeletons in your Fan Mail might help make this one make more sense, but it's not needed. Enjoy! - J)


Ace Hardlight grumbled to himself as he 'enjoyed' one of the local bars in the Shadow Sector. Truth is, he didn't, and he didn't much care for Vox keeping a tighter rein on him than usual and practically grounding all air traffic for the planet while Ace was on leave here.

Fuck Vox. Ace pondered to himself, fingering a tall glass with a clear green substance that had floating orange globules in it, before downing half the glass in one gulp. I just need a break from killing something.

"Fuckin' 'ell, I'm not goin' out there to get my bolts busted by some wanker!" A woman hissed from behind the curtains, picking up Ace's attention for a moment. He blinked, then turned to tap a waitress on the shoulder.

The tap ended up shocking the waitress. "Mr. Hardlight!" She shrieked, astonished. "Is something wrong? Would you like a refill? Would you like your shoulders massaged?"

"Look, baby, I just wanted to know why-"

"Please don't hurt me!" She yelped, then covered her mouth, as though horrified that she said it. Ace rolled his eyes — This entire planet seemed afraid of him. They probably were right to be, of course, but the tables around his current seat had emptied out, everyone else was keeping to themselves, and even the staff were more courteous than usual just out of terror that things would go pear-shaped otherwise.

"Look, I'm not going to kill anyone." Ace picked up his blaster, causing the waitress to cringe, but then he handed it to her. "I'm unarmed now, see? Now go stick that behind the bar and don't give it back until I leave."

The waitress nodded, quickly handing it off to another waiter. "Is that all for now, Mr. Hardlight?"

"Yeah. have someone check on your entertainment for tonight and see if she's okay. I hope I didn't spook her." Ace smirked, trying to reassure the waitress now.

The waitress nodded, running off in a hurry. Ace sighed and downed the other half of his drink, before glaring at it. Times like this made him wish it took less alcohol to get him plastered, but he wanted just enough to get the buzz he needed while still able to remember tonight.

The waitress returned, straightening out her skirt when she stopped at Ace again. "She says she didn't realize you were coming tonight when she signed up for the gig, and refuses to perform."

"Did you tell her I was unarmed?"

"Yes . . ."

"Did you tell her that I'm not planning on even hitting anyone tonight, let alone killing them?"

"Yes . . ."

"Did you tell her I'm sick and tired of everyone treating me like the tactical nuke in the room and that I just want to get shit-faced and enjoy myself tonight, preferably without having to stop in Red Glow for some masturbatory material?"

The waitress looked like she wanted to bite her lip, if she even had one. "One moment, sir."

"Forget it, I'll do it myself." Ace rolled his eyes, standing up. "HEY! I wanted a show tonight, and I'm going to get it one way or another! Now come on already!"

A pause permeated the room before the woman behind the curtain spoke up again. "I ain't comin' out there!"

"It's an extra hundred bolts if you do!"

The pause this time was shorter. "I'll need somethin' more than that, love."

Ace rolled his eyes. "Two hundred."

"Make it two-fifty and your word that what goes on here tonight stays here." The lady spoke again. "Kick the cameras out."

"There's no cameras here to begin with." Ace rolled his eyes. "And I was going to do that anyway. Now get your ass out here and do . . . I don't know, something!"

The lady chuckled. "Three minutes to fix my makeup, love."

"Take your time." Ace shouted back, before sitting down and glancing over at the waitress. "Get me another of whatever it is I just sucked down."

"Another 'Dim Fandango', got it." The waitress intoned, walking off.

Ace made himself comfortable, noting the lights in the bar starting to dim as the stage set itself in order, a candle — one that looked fresh from the Sarathos Swamps, in fact — glowing on stage fiercely, brightly. The waitress returned with Ace's drink, and he held it up again, viewing it in the low light of the candle, but this time sipping from it more slowly. This was more like the kind of night he had in mind.

"Turn her o-ver . . . A candle is lit, I see through her . . ." The woman spoke up, singing now as she appeared from behind the curtain, most of her body in silhouette to start. "Blow it out, and save all her ashes for me . . ."

Ace blinked, trying to place that voice from before. She sounded familiar . . . way too familiar, in fact.

"Curse me, sold her the poison that runs its course through her . . ." She spoke up, her fur lightly illuminated by the candlelight, Ace noting her large ears, even tied to her head as they were. "Pale, white skin, with strawberry gashes all over, all over . . ."

Ace smirked, and it clicked in his head, but he refused to say it out loud — that would ruin the moment. And if it was one thing he needed, it was the pure Slack evident in this moment.

"Watch me fault her, you're living like a dis-as-ter . . ." The woman came closer, more of her form evident as the pale sashes of clothing clung to her body, highlighting her curves, along with the two feathers of equal paleness hanging from her left ear. "She said, 'kill me', fast-er . . . with strawberry gashes all over, all over . . ."

The bare chuckle in his mouth had to be repressed — to her credit, she'd disguised herself well. Matted hide, darkened fur, padded bra (which was a shame, as he'd seen her natural cups well enough to know they were beautiful things exactly as they were) , heavy makeup . . . it didn't matter. He knew her anywhere.

"Called her o-ver, and asked her if she was improving . . ." She sang, moving a few steps closer, twirling as she went. "She said, 'feels fine' . . . it's wonderful, wonderful here . . . Hex me, told her I dreamt of a devil that knew her pale, white skin with strawberry gashes all over, all over . . ."

Ace started mouthing the lyrics along with her, but staying silent, wrapped up in the moment. She had a way of doing that to him. "Watch me fault her . . . You're living like a disaster . . . she said 'kill me, faster', with strawberry gashes all over, all over . . ."

Ace smiled, crooning a finger to direct her closer. There was shock in her eyes; the dawning of realization that not only did he know, but she knew that he did. Strangely though, she came in closer, kneeling near the end of the bar's runway, leaning closer and closer to Ace until she was lying on the end of the runway, looking at him.

She looked at him, smiling. "I lay qui-et . . . wait-ing for her voice to say . . . 'Some things you lose, and some things you just give a-way' . . ."

Ace blinked, mouthing 'Saw' silently, but then she jerked back, lifting her torso back up off the runway.

"Scold me, failed her! . . .If only I'd held on tight-er to her pale, white skin that twisted and withered, away from me, away from me . . ." She snag, pulling her body back as though being tied up with an invisible rope, shaking, convulsing as she went on.

Ace blinked, picking up on a repressed memory, though he couldn't tell if it was one of his memories or her own . . . He couldn't stay silent any longer, and stood up, barely whispering, "Not again . . ."

"Watch me lose her, it's almost like losing myself . . . give her my soul, and let them take somebody else! . . . Get away from me!" Jigsaw kept singing, standing up as she saw Ace rise, backing up. "Watch me fault her . . . 'You're living like a disaster' . . ."

"She said 'kill me, faster' . . ." Ace spoke up, moving closer, with slow, deliberate motions, afraid to spook her.

Jigsaw gulped, nervous now. " . . . with strawberry gashes all over, all over m-!"

Ace struck quickly, grabbing hold of her arms, planting a kiss on her lips that immediately silenced her, catching her off guard. It caught most of the bar off-guard, in fact, and they broke out in cheers, whooping and hollering with approval and appreciation.

Ace grinned, breaking the kiss to look down at her, with feelings he hadn't felt in years stirring inside him. "It's good to see you again."

"Can we continue this talk in a less conspicuous manner?" She winced, trying to keep her face on for the crowd.

"Sure." Ace smirked, pulling her off the stage and back over to his table. "You must have quite the story to tell . . .

"Forgive me if I'm not keen on telling it." Jigsaw winced, sitting down. "You have no idea what kind of risk I'm takin' here as is . . ."

"And yet you do it anyway." Ace shrugged, returning to his seat. "Waitress! Bring a Zombie Elixir for my friend here."

The Lombax rolled her eyes as she collapsed in her seat. "We do it because . . . fucked if I know. You're the only one of the old guard left now. Charity earned a short drop and a sudden stop, Zodiac ended up a pelt on Gleeman's wall, Daisy . . . you fuckin' killed Daisy yourself! You, of all people!"

"I had to!" Ace shot back. "Don't judge me! You would've done the same thing in my position!"

"Honestly, I'm more impressed she got herself killed than the fact you did it." She rebuked. "But still, damn it, man . . . you SubGenii don't exactly have much reverence for each other, do you?"

"Leave 'Bob' out of this!" Ace growled. "But as I said, I didn't have a whole lot of choice. Gleeman made it clear in no uncertain terms that she couldn't become an Exterminator, so he handed me a pair of new 'toys' and told me to make it look good."

Jigsaw shook her head, the makeup barely masking her true emotion. "I don't believe you . . . and you listened to him?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Make a repeat of the second season finale, that's what!" She growled, a fist pounding the table before the noticed the waitress returning with her drink, to which she nodded and accepted it. "Now I'll be the first to admit it wasn't easy, but it would've been the right thing to do. A proper nod to the evil wench."

"That's not my style." Ace shook his head. "Look, you're the one with all the morals. You bitched about the episode on Eudora, you bitched about the one on Tetorca, you busted my balls over leaving Poison to die in the Valix belt . . . Me, I just do what I have to do, to have the best result for me, got it?"

Jigsaw narrowed her eyes, as though insulted. "You still owe me two hundred fifty, by the way."

"Take it, for all the good it does you. Hell, I'll even cover the drink." Ace spat, tossing the bolts across the table.

"Thanks. Ought to cover the delays for getting stranded here longer than I intended." Jigsaw remarked, pocketing the bolts. "And seriously, you might mock me for having morals, but I assure you, at least I stick to them. I'm probably the only girl in this bar that doesn't pray to some higher god and yet I bet I'm the closest to a holy being a lot of these people will ever come across."

Ace rolled his eyes. "Well, sure, you're practically a Deux Ex Organica as is."

"Not the point." Jigsaw growled, downing more of her drink. "But look, yes, I'm taking huge amounts of risk contacting you as is, and I know that. But damn it, I did it because in spite of how we ended things, I still give a shit about you, and in spite of yourself, I still think your 'salvation' could still be at hand." She smirked. "Join me. There are ways . . ."

"Not happening. All air traffic off the planet is halted thanks to me being here, so even if we went 'your' route, we'd still be fucked because I bet Gleeman would send in Reactor, Plutonium Jones, and the rest of them to come after me and probably get you killed properly this time." Ace lowered his eyes. "And two, now that I don't have to worry about getting tied down with teammates anymore, it's been fucking fabulous. Red Glow's finest on call, the fame, the thrills and kills . . . just what a guy like me needs . . ."

Jigsaw frowned, her eyelids dropping to half-mast. "You're still pissed about Geisha, aren't you?"

Ace's eyes went narrow. "Bite me, rat."

"Don't tempt me." Jigsaw rolled her eyes, finishing her drink. "I'm getting out of here. I thought you got it, man . . . I thought that your asshole image was all just an act for the cameras . . . but it's not."

Ace watched as Jigsaw stood up, heading back towards the curtains. "So that's it? Whatever happened to not leaving angry?"

"I'm not angry. I'm disappointed." She frowned. "And my deal still stands; what happens here, stays here."

Ace shook his head, watching her sashay to the curtain, a flick of her hips drawing his attention as she slipped behind it. "I wouldn't have it any other way."


(Song used here is "Strawberry Gashes" by Jack Off Jill.)