Disclaimer: I don't own 'Xiaolin Showdown' or any baby shows that happen to be mentioned in this ridiculous story, though I'm pretty sure no one's used this idea yet... But if someone has and it was RaiKim, then, no, I have not read it for... uh... obvious reasons.
Also, I'm not putting much effort into this. It was just, what you all call, an evil plot bunny that wouldn't go away, so, yeah, it's most likely going to be so crappy, it's not even funny.
Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I believe baby shows are evil. They just scare me... Also, Chase will be out of character in this chapter. He'll be all better in later chapters, though. Don't have a heart attack. I'll shut up now and let you read this.
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Baby Shows Are Evil
Summary
Chase Young gets a new TV and invites everyone else to watch it. However, he gets mad when a certain evil purple dinosaur, in an attempt to conquer the world using a TV signal, makes all the channels to show childeren television programs! Will the main Xiaolins and Heylins be able to stop the evil dinosaur and his minions of baby evilness from his evil scheme to corrupt and take over the earth? You'll know if you read past this summary. Rated for bad language, violence, and possible character death.
Chapter 1
New TVs and Old Enemies
"OH YEAH! It's my birthday! Gonna party like it's my birthday!"
"Chase, stop! You're freakin' us out!"
But, despite Dojo's words, Chase continued to be out of character and continued to dance, singing his version of the "It's Your Birthday" song. Everyone, along with Dojo, were either cowering in their seats or cheering Chase on.
All right, it all started when Chase Young just happened to be passing by in Chicago (HUNDREDS of miles away from his home) and stole a lottery ticket from a homeless person. When he returned home, he asked Wuya what you were supposed to do with it. She didn't know, so she said, "Ask Jack.", so he did. Spicer told Chase he was supposed to scratch the place where it said "SCRATCH HERE AND SEE IF YOU'VE WON", so Chase did scratch. He asked Jack what it meant when he got three $1,000,000 numbers in a row and the Evil Boy Genius, who was very shocked, told him that he had just won the lottery and could win a prize, mainly the money. At first, Chase wasn't too thrilled about it, especially the fact that he had to go all the way back to Chicago to cash in his ticket.
Jack then asked the old young-looking warrior if there was something he wanted but just couldn't get. Chase thought about it and said, "Well, I have been wanting a plasma screen television that was the size of my wall...". When Jack told Chase he could get it when he got the cash, Young went ballistic and instantly teleported out of Jack's basement to turn in his lotto ticket. He got the plasma screen TV and was so excited about it, he called the Xiaolin Warriors, Jack, and even Hannibal Bean to come watch his TV. He was hyperventilating when he was telling them to come over, which surprised everyone greatly.
So, here they all were, Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, Clay, Dojo, Hannibal, Ying-Ying, Wuya, and Jack, all sitting in seats and couches in a room that no one even knew Chase's home possessed, not even Chase himself. He found it when he was looking for a spot to put the TV where it would actually fit. He was currently dancing happily.
"Well?" Raimundo spoke. "Are we gonna watch TV or what?"
Chase paused, standing on one foot and his hands in awkward positions. He returned to his normal pose with his hands behind his back, a huge grin on his face. "Right, right. This television has satellite cable and gets every channel ever made; HBO, Cartoon Network, CBS, UPN, BET, Telemundo, The Japanese Playboy Channel, SAL (Stone Aged Living), you name it, it's a channel! It has surround sound, making it seem like you are actually there. It says that you can make the images three dimensional, but I haven't tried that out yet. I even hooked up a PS2 and a DVD player I stole from some little kid! I don't have any games or DVDs, so, whatever. And it has TiVo action! YAY FOR TiVo!" He said this in a VERY fast tone.
"Chase, you're getting out of character again." Jack pointed out.
Wuya slapped the back of his head. "Shut up! Let him! He's more fun this way!"
Clay rubbed his hands together excitedly. "Can you get RFD on here?"
"Yes, but we will not be watching it because it is BORING!" Chase shouted.
Clay folds his arms and looks away. "RFD is not boring..."
"Trust me. One can only watch trains and tractors for just so long." Chase takes out the remote and sits in between Jack and Omi on the very soft couch. "Time for some good ol' mind-numbing television."
And so, the TV-watching marathon began. Although, they were mainly channel surfing, looking for something good to watch. Chase, of course, was the one using the remote, for he clearly stated that it was forbidden for anyone else to use it without his consent or else he would rip off their hand and put it in a jar and place the jar on the coffee table for all to see.
Food Network.
"NEXT."
Nickolodeon.
"NEXT."
'Boobah'?
"AAAAAH!"
(FLIP FLIP FLIP!)
"Ah! Here we go! Sci Fi channel!"
(A/N: Okay, for those who don't know what "Boobah" is, it's a freaky baby show that's pretty much a rip-off of "The Teletubbies". And RFD (Rural Free Delivery) is the most BORING channel EVER unless you like watching endless hours of trains and tractors and hill-billy music (no offence to those who DO like that stuff, it just gets tiring).)
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5 HOURS LATER...
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They all were currently watching "Kakurenbo: Hide and Seek", since 'adult swim' was showing it again. They watched as the boy with fluffy blond hair and fox mask with glasses over it trip and fall. He straightens his glasses and his eyes widen because he hears a growl coming from behind him. He slowly turns around and sees the Liver Taker, a demon thing, advancing on him. And just as it was about to attack him... THE TV SUDDENLY TURNED OFF!
Everyone groaned and made furious protests. Chase was the most angry out of all of them. "What the-- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY TV!"
Then, the TV turned back on, but it wasn't the show they were watching, it was just a plain white screen that hurt everyone's eyes, especially since the lights were off in the room. A familiar face then began materializing on the screen, one of a purple dinosaur head with green spots and dark eyes.
"Hello, boys and girls! We interupt this program to give you a very special marathon--"
Hannibal Bean jumped on Ying-Ying and flew up real close to the screen. "Well, well, well. If it ain't my ol' friend, Barney."
The dinosaur head's eyes crossed so they could look directly at the talking bean. It grinned maliciously. "...Hannibal. How long has it been? Last I heard, you were trapped in the Yin-Yang world."
"Well, I was released not too long ago. So, what've you been up to?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just corrupting the minds of kindergarteners and preschoolers all over the world."
Bean smirked. "You do realize that this world's mine? You have no business being here."
Barney's head laughed cruelly. "That curse must be getting to your head, Bean! All worlds are mine for the taking! You know that! Soon, this world shall be mine and there's nothing you can do to stop me! All the channels and all the TVs on Earth have been contaminated by my radio signal. I thought, 'Why stop at children? I could corrupt the entire world! No, the universe!' and I went for it. It works like a charm."
Then, Barney looked further into the room and saw the others; the Xiaolins were ready to fight; Dojo was hiding in Clay's hat; Jack was hiding behind Chase; Chase was enraged; Wuya was on her feet, glaring at Barney-head.
"You have quite a party, Bean. You're going to need all the help you can get. You'll never stop me or my many minions of baby evil! Bye-bye! And remember: Barney loves you!" The screen then turned to the beginning theme sequence of "Barney and Friends". You know, where it shows the colorful outline-shadows of Barney and some kids walking in place or something?
Chase tried changing the channel. The next channel was showing "Dora the Explorer" when it was supposed to be showing "Jaws II: the Revenge" (is it the second or third one that called "The Revenge"? I don't pay attention). The channel after that was showing "Sesame Street" when it was supposed to be showing a marathon of "Lady Sumo Wrestlers That Got Lypoed".
Omi looks at Raimundo. "You were trying to get me to watch 'Barney & Friends', Raimundo! Did you know that he was evil?"
Raimundo thought for a second. "I always had my suspicions, though..."
Wuya looked to Chase. "You're not going to stand for this, are you Chase!"
"No. I. Am. Not." Chase ground out through gritted teeth. Then, he pulled something out of his pocket.
Wuya couldn't believe it. "A SHEN GONG WU!"
Chase continued to hold the Wu up high. "Yes it is."
Dojo peeked out from under Clay's hat. "No wonder we couldn't find it! You had it all along!"
Jack was confused. "What is it? I chose not to show up for that one."
"It's the Virtual Plug-in Thing!" Kimiko said, pointing at the thing Chase was holding.
The Virtual Plug-in Thing looked like a regular wire that you'd use to plug in any electric appliance, but it was a glowing electric-green color and made a hissing noise.
"It allows the user or users to enter the World of TV and actually fool around with actual shows." Dojo explains. "In order to use it, the user must plug it into a remote control, a regular remote control, then hook it up to your TV in any way possible, and shout its name. If numerous people want to go, then they must all be touching the one holding the remote. But, it's very risky. Say, the remote gets lost or broken or the Virtual Plug-in Thing gets unplugged. Then, the users are stuck in the World of TV forever. Unless, someone from the real world comes and re-plugs the Wu or something."
Clay nodds. "Ah... Huh? Now, wait just a cotton-pickin' minute! How were y'all able to make something as high-tech like that 1,500 years back!"
Everyone else gathers around Dojo, fixing him with glares. "Yeah!"
"Well, it was really quite simple--"
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Hannibal interupts the little green dragon. "We have to stop him before he takes over the world that should be rightfully mine!"
Omi raised a confused eyebrow. "But, I thought he was your friend..."
"'Friend'? How do ya think I came to look like a talkin' bean in the first place! I used to be handsome! Way better lookin' than Young, here!" Bean shouted, pointing a root-like arm at Chase.
Kimiko gasped. "Barney's really that powerful?"
Bean took on a dark voice. "More than you know."
Chase moved his arm so that the wire/Wu was dangling in front of Jack's face. "Plug it in, Spicer. We have a purple dinosaur ass to kick."
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Well, that was a long and repeating first chapter... Oh, and "lypoed" is a word that I made up (unless someone else thought of it without me knowing?) that means "got lyposuction". "You got lypoed!" Yes, "The Virtual Plug-in Thing" is the Shen Gong Wu's official name. ...What? I couldn't think of anything, so I went for what I normally call stuff!
Go ahead and tell me how stupid this idea is. Even if you don't want me to continue, I'm still going to put up the next two chapters soon anyway, so, NYAH! Just so the idea would leave me alone.