Genre: Drama/Tragedy
Fandom: Hetalia
Pairing: PruCan - Prussia x Canada/Gilbert x Matthew
Canon or AU: AU - Humans
Q: Will it be continued?
A: Probably not. I don't like making sad things, and writing a PruCan fic without Matt is just.. it hurts my heart.
I'm warning you now. This one-shot is sad. I was in a not-so-great mood when I wrote it, and I apologize for something so depressing.
Don't hate me. ; n ;
Gilbert set his pen down, his eyes stinging from the tears that had spilled onto the sheet of paper beneath his hands. He looked over to the picture on the desk, reaching out to carefully stroke his finger down the glass, a blond man's smiling face staring back at him. He stood up out of his chair, pushing it in before taking the piece of paper and folding it, scrawling out a name quickly before grabbing his coat off the chair and slipping into it.
"Every time I think of the past, how we had everything.. how your smile would make my heart flutter.. I can't help but to feel my heart ache and my stomach starts to burn in the thought of the present."
With slow movements, Gil wiped the tears from his eyes and pushed the letter into his pocket. He picked up his car keys at the front door, slipping into his shoes and picking up an old scarf. He stared at the fabric for a minute, running fingers over the little yellow bird on the end of it. He felt tears again, but he pushed them away, pulling the scarf around his neck and opening the door, stepping out into the chilly Canadian air, his boots crunching in the snow as he shut the door and headed for the car.
"Despite our little disagreements and my occasional depression, I always had you there with me. You saved me, more times than I could ever count. You loved me when nobody would."
The car started up with a low purr, hands being placed onto the steering wheel. The albino took a deep breath before glancing behind him, pulling out into the snowy street slowly and carefully. He knew how dangerous this time of year could be, though thankfully he had put on the snow tread tires about a week ago.
"We've been apart for a long time now. A year already. It seems like only yesterday that we were waking up together and snuggling under the blanket before we were ready to be up. Your smiles still make me feel warm when I look back at our pictures."
Red eyes stared blankly at the road as he drove, his silver hair damp with snowflakes and his chest tight. He was still in shock from it all, but it had been a year. He didn't think he could ever accept it.
"It doesn't hurt as much as it used to.. remembering the past. I won't ever be as strong as I was when I was with you, though. I just don't have it in me anymore. I hope that doesn't matter to you, though.. I hope you always just love me for who I am."
Gilbert parked the car, taking a minute as he turned the engine off and took another deep breath. He stared at the empty passenger seat, swallowing back a lump in his throat. He would always cry when he thought about it. There was no doubt about that. But today, he wanted to be strong. At least for a little while. He pushed the door open and stepped out, closing it behind him before pulling his coat close, walking forward and through a set of tall gates.
"I wish I could have been there that night. Perhaps things would have played out differently. You wouldn't be gone.. and we would wake up tomorrow just like normal.. wasting the morning until we were finally hungry enough. You would make pancakes.. and we would plan out the day.. It's funny.. how fate can be so cruel."
Walking among stones, rows upon rows of cold and lifeless marble blocks with names scrawled into them, Gilbert felt everything just crumbling apart. He stopped in front of a newer looking marble angel, slowly getting onto his knees. He pulled an old cloth out of his pocket and reached forward, hand shaking as he wiped snow and dirt away from the stone, the name 'Matthew Williams' coming into his vision. Tears ran freely now, though he tightened his jaw as he put the cloth away and pulled out the letter.
"I'll always love you.. no matter what. Forever and always, even though we can't be together.
I'm sorry.."
He laid the letter down on the tombstone, wiping at his face. It had been a year since Matt had died.. protecting their adopted daughter when he lost control of the car.. on a patch of black ice on the way home one night from visiting family. Gilbert had to work that night. If he had been there.. maybe he could have saved him.
"This is a letter you will never see.. I love you."
A soft tone rang out from his pocket, and he reached in to grab his phone. He stood up and answered, his voice catching a bit as he spoke.
"I'm okay, Francis. I'll be over to pick up Maddy soon. Just.. give me a few more minutes."
He hung up the phone after the other said goodbye, his eyes on the tombstone. After a while he could feel the cold setting in with the snowflakes drifting down, and he had to turn away and head back to the car.
"Our daughter said her first word. She said 'mommy'. I'm so proud of her.. and I'll be sure to live on for her. She needs to know.. how her adopted 'mother'.. was a hero. We'll see you again in time, Matt. So wait for us.."
AN: Please favorite/review if you enjoyed the feels, despite it being sad. I want to know if my 'fans' like my Prussia and Canada.