Disclaimer: No, I don't own Bleach; the fact of the matter is...it owns my soul.

A/N: Dun-dun-dun… I bring you a stupid RenByaku fic! Original idea and, erm, lighter stuff (aka Chap. 1 and 2) by me and -coughcough- …heavier bits to be done by my friend "Peachy." (Actually, by anyone--feel free to write me an ending to this and send it to me; I'll take as many as there are and see which one is the best.)
You see, I really did want to finish this fic, but my poor innocent brain just couldn't process things at the point where stuff started getting more and more lemony. Thus, a collaboration is needed.

So here we have it, a fic that was started on Byakuya's birthday a whole year ago (1/31/2007) and is, well, still incomplete. Sorry. But hey, I posted it a day after this year's b-day, so that makes up for it a bit, right?
By the way, this is essentially my first actual fanfic, so yeah...Be nice.

Enjoy! If you dislike yaoi or shonen-ai or this pairing...just...do yourself a favor and don't read. Here we go!

Mini-Glossary (words are italicized in story)

Kenseikan: white things Byakuya wears in his hair (shows he's a noble)

Jigoku-chō: "hell butterfly"

Oi: Hey!
(Other terms will be noted later in the story) --

The frozen sun was just starting its descent from the sky. It was January 31st—the day of Kuchiki Byakuya's birthday.

A lone shinigami arrived at the main entrance to the Kuchiki estate, trying to keep his teeth from chattering. Trying…and failing.

DA-AAMN it's cold, thought Abarai Renji, sullenly gritting his teeth. Gotta be under ten frickin' degrees out here. He tugged at a small pulley by the door's threshold that rang a system of bells inside the main house. Hopping from one foot to the other, he wondered how long it would take a servant to just answer the stupid door. At last a young woman slid it open and blinked in surprise.

"A-Abarai-fukutaichou? May I ask why you're here?"

Renji stared tensely at the wall behind her. "I have personal business with Kuchiki-taichou." Well, sorta, he thought. I'm pretty much showin' up here with no warning to speak of. "Can I—uhh…may I come in?"

The poor maid looked ready to slap herself for forgetting her manners. "Yes, of course! Come right in, you'll catch your death. I apologize!" Smiling politely, she asked Renji if he wanted to send for the captain.

Renji nodded stiffly, butterflies growing in his stomach. Hope this won't be tooo awkward…wait, what am I thinking? Grow some balls, ya pansy!

A couple of minutes later, Byakuya himself arrived in the entrance hall. He was dressed in a light-colored casual robe and hadn't bothered to put his hair into kenseikan. After all, it was the man's birthday, and he had clearly been relaxing the day away. If it's even possible that Kuchiki-taichou does relax, mused the redhead. He wanted to roll his eyes. But…

Renji thought he could feel a faint warmth rising to his ears. He'd never seen his captain with jet-black locks so loose across his face and clothes draped so casually over his body, and…and jeez, this reaction was unexpected. Why the hell am I looking at Kuchiki like this?! Stop that, you dumbass! Arms behind his back, he pinched his wrist to regain composure.

Byakuya was speaking. "Well? What is it? If the business is important, you could have sent a jigoku-chō."

"Y'see…Kuchiki-taichou, the thing is…" Renji started, eyes trained casually on the ground to avoid getting that strange feeling again. "Since it's your birthday…wait, how old're you again? Today, I mean?"

"Hmm, should I?…" the dark-haired man murmured to himself, then gave a subdued, enigmatic smile and said aloud, "No, I will not tell you. However, I am between five hundred and five thousand years old." The mysterious smile morphed into a smirk. "Now, what were you saying?"

"Ah, thanks for the hint," Renji replied, failing to mask his sarcasm. …Prick. Thinks he's so witty…wait. Taichou? Witty? Since when?

"Anyway," he continued, "since it's your birthday, and I don't have a present for you, I was thinking…never mind, I should leave now. I wouldn't wanna bother Taichou."

"No, what is it? You've piqued my curiosity." The nobleman looked expectantly at his subordinate. "…Tell me."

"It…it's nothing. Well…" he relented, "all right. I was thinking I could make you something. Something food-wise."

Byakuya's delicate eyebrows rose just the slightest amount. "Oh? I wasn't aware you cooked…Abarai," he said, coolly dropping the vice-captain status at the end of Renji's surname.

So casual…huh, thought Renji. "Baking, to be exact," he responded. He'd been hesitant to let his captain discover this—until now, only Rukia had known about Renji's little hobby. He was a bit nervous about letting anyone else know, afraid it might threaten his 'manly pride.'

"Do you like strawberries?" Renji said from out of nowhere.

"Ex…excuse me?" Byakuya blinked. "Why…do you ask?"

Huh, I wonder what was going through HIS mind, thought Renji. Y'know…I don't want to know. "See, I was thinking instead of the traditional cake, I could make a strawberry shortcake…unless you'd rather have just a cake; I can do that!" added Renji quickly.

"No, I would be glad to have the shortcake…I have never tried one, in fact," said Byakuya, tilting his head just a little. He quickly cleared his throat. "That is, if you do want to make one. I…would be honored."

Honored? Seriously?? thought Renji. Hmm, maybe the great Kuchiki has a serious sweet tooth he's not tellin' me about…He grinned. "Yes, I do. Can I use one of the kitchens?"

"May you," Byakuya automatically corrected. Renji groaned inwardly—he'd just gotten the stupid grammar right a few minutes ago; why'd he have to screw up now… "And yes, you may. I will take you to the best-equipped facility. This way." Byakuya turned and motioned with a slender finger as he exited the main hall.

Here goes, thought the redhead, following suit.

Renji washed his hands in the sink and got ready to start. He was still in shock at the size of this place. It's at least four times the size of the sorry excuse for a kitchen in my quarters. Damn, if only I lived here…He stopped abruptly, realizing what that would mean, and hastily turned and grabbed the only spare apron in the kitchen—a pink frilly number with lace around the edges. He cursed. Fine, I just won't let anyone see me wearing this godforsaken thing. That'd be just perfect for my rep.

On the way to the storeroom to gather some ingredients, Renji passed by Byakuya, who had settled into a sitting room near the kitchen. With his head propped up against the back of one graceful hand, he was reading one of the many historical records in the Kuchiki collection.

God, could you read something more boring, please? thought Renji, trying to still the sudden, tiny spark that had leaped up in him when he saw the man's deep-blue eyes glancing casually downwards. And it's his birthday, fer Chrissake! How can he find stuff like that more interesting than actual people…

…like me? added a little voice in his head.

Wait…waitaminnit…he thought, doing a double take. Those…those are reading glasses! What…the…. hell? Surprise, surprise. Inside the place Byakuya called home, Renji was learning way more about him every second than he had over the past several years as his vice-captain.

Shaking his head a little to bring his mind back into focus, Renji headed on toward the storeroom. Byakuya watched him go, amused in spite of himself. Foolish boy. You honestly thought I wouldn't notice you there? …Or is it that you just didn't care? Something about him had Byakuya feeling an easy warmth inside, despite the slight chill in the house. He went back to reading with a rare smile on his features.

The sound of chopping from the cutting board could be heard from several rooms away as Renji carefully sliced each ripe strawberry in half. He cut the last one, washed the knife and put it away. Though he told himself not to, he started pacing the wood floor of the kitchen.

Okay, now that the shortcake's almost done, all I gotta do is spread on some cream, stick the strawberries around the top…and drizzle a little chocolate sauce for good measure. He paused, trying not to think of Byakuya and chocolate at the same time. If his mind stayed on that for more than a couple seconds, it started to take him places he'd rather not go. But more importantly…how will Mr. High-and-Mighty react? He'd better like it!

Worry, worry, worry.

Maybe I should try some myself first, just to make sure it's good. And even more importantly…

…how will I stop myself from looking at him like that again? 'Cause that was just frickin' weird.

He glanced at the hourglass on the counter. Argh, time's up. Renji lifted the shortcake, golden and crispy-looking, out of the oven and began smoothing fluffy cream over it.

"Oiii, Kuchiki-taichou! It's ready…I think!" Renji's voice carried into the other room, his voice cracking a little. He winced. Damn. And wow, that was familiar of me. A little too familiar. "Would you come try it?" he asked formally after clearing his throat.

The sound of light footsteps approached the kitchen. Renji threw off the accursed pink apron just before Byakuya appeared in the doorway, taking off his reading glasses and setting them folded on a side table. He crossed his arms. "Ready? At last? I see…It took you long enough…" His eyes scarcely masked the teasing smirk behind them.

"Temee---At least I made the damn thing. Are you gonna try it or not?" he demanded, not at all aware of how uncouth he was acting. He turned his sullen face toward the shortcake. Why was it that both siblings of the Kuchiki clan were so…frustrating?
(Temee: Rude word for "you"---basically "bastard")

Byakuya watched this with clear amusement. "My apologies, Abarai-kun. Of course I will." He stepped closer to where Renji was standing in front of the counter.

Renji, bent over the cake, shot a sidelong glance at him. The vice-captain couldn't take it any longer—he wanted feedback NOW.

Plucking a cream-doused strawberry from on top of the shortcake, Renji dipped it in the extra chocolate sauce—dark chocolate, of course—and, before he even knew what he was doing, plunged it into Byakuya's mouth.

(End Chapter 1.)