Rating: T to be on the safe side
Summary: The missing scene on the firing range between Charlotte and Lorne from Meeting of Minds.
Disclaimer: I own none of the Stargate Characters or Charlotte and the Bunny Busters they belong to BiteMeTechie.
Authors Notes: This is in response to Nenya's challenge to write the missing scene of the after effects of the Smut Bunny attack on Charlotte. Special thanks to Techie for letting me borrow Charlotte and the Busters. Go read When Plot Bunnies Attack by BiteMeTechie and The Meeting of Minds by NenyaVilyaNenya. This is not one of my best I'm afraid.
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'Why oh why did it have to be a Smut Bunny?' thought Charlotte as she stared at Major Lorne's ass for the third time in ten minutes. 'Why couldn't it have been a Ship Bunny so my head would be filled with walking in the rain and kisses in the moonlight instead of sex in the shower and quickies in the closet'. Charlie sighed she needed to get the firing range secured so she could be out of harms way before the Smut venom took over and she ended up in front of the APBA committee.
"You need some help?" said Lorne, Charlie snapped out of her musings
"Ah...no I'm here because...you know...um...wiring...that's it I've got to check the wiring," she said as she made her way to the weapons locker back of the range. She started to make her inspection of the various gun bins and shelves; soon she found the nest of Smut Bunnies looking quite sweet as they slept, dreaming naughty bunny dreams. Charlie shook herself, they weren't sweet they were evil little gits who didn't deserve any sympathy, but how was she going to deal with them? She couldn't zat them, not with Lorne in ear shot. She put her pack down, unzipped it and started to hunt for a particular piece of equipment, bunny bromide. Bunny bromide was still in the experimental stage, the boffins at HQ had come up with it after several missions in the Mills and Boon 'verse had had to be scrubbed because there was no way to dispose of a nest quietly, the Fluffy Romance teams had wanted something to make Smut bunnies impotent until they could be dealt with. Smut bunnies then started interbreeding with the Fluff bunnies, who were allowed to live in the Mills and Boon 'verse under tight controlled conditions. The hybrid Smut/Fluff bunnies had caused havoc in Mills and Boon, so much so that questions had been asked in the British Parliament and the press had been calling it the 'Lady Mills and Boon Affair'. By the time the APBA had been given the all clear to enter the 'verse a whole new sub genre had been created the 'Racy Chick Lit'. Charlie pulled out the can of bunny bromide and started to sprinkle it vigorously on the nest, 'too bad it only works on bunnies' she thought as the spot on her thigh where the arrow struck began to itch.
"You ok?" asked Lorne as he entered the weapons locker
"Yes, fine, perfectly ok, why'd you ask" Charlie replied, that was all she needed to be stuck in a wire cage with a hot man in uniform and a nest of smut bunnies.
"Well I'm no sparky but I've never seen an electrician use talc before" he replied
"Um...it's not talc exactly um...it's alien bug blatter, you see you never know what comes through the gate so we put this stuff down to identify anything alien that could be interfering with the electrics" lied Charlie.
"Sure" replied Lorne
"Interesting side arm, personal choice or standard issue?" she said desperately trying to change the subject
"Standard issue of course" said Lorne wondering were on Earth, or anywhere else, she'd been for the last six years.
"Personally I prefer a Walther" she replied, she'd taken a liking to the gun when she'd been inside the Bond 'verse unsuccessfully hunting down an outbreak of Chauvinist Bunnies
"A Bond fan?" he asked
"Well, you know" she said nonchalantly
"Wanna try it out?" he asked as he handed his gun over to her. Charlie smiled
"Why not" she replied, see it was easy; all she needed to do was concentrate on the task in hand. He led her out to the range where she used up the clip and scored maximum.
"Why the hell are you in maintenance?" he asked
"I spend a lot of time practising here, there's only so much you can do with wires" she replied as they made their way back to the weapons locker. The spot on Charlie's thigh was itching like mad as she absentmindedly scratched it
"What's up?" he asked
"Nothing" she said quickly "I've been bitten by something that's all".
"Lucky something" said Lorne with a grin and Charlie felt her self-control start to crack; he had the most gorgeous blue eyes and hair you just wanted to grab by the handful.
"I've got to get back to work," she said as she moved to pick up her pack
"Hey, what is your name? I can't go around calling you techie," he said
"Charlotte" she replied
"Marc" he said. She smiled at him
"Pleased to meet you," she said as she hefted the pack over her shoulder. Something pink and furry ran over her foot, she yelped and dropped the pack on the bunny with a squelch, great now she'd have to scrape bunny road kill off her pack,
"Easy" said Lorne "you'll do yourself a mischief", he bent down to pick up her pack and Charlie's self-control totally disappeared, she grabbed a handful of his hair, pulled his head back and kissed him. Lorne was taken completely taken by surprise as Charlie threw herself at him, he couldn't deny that this little scenario hadn't crossed his mind at least once since she'd come into the practise range but the weapons locker was hardly the place, his room in a couple of hours maybe, he'd suggest it if only she'd let him speak.
"Um...Charlotte...this...isn't...really the place," he said, but Charlie wasn't having any of it,
"Shut up and kiss me" she growled, it wasn't just the Smut bunny venom in her system it was rampaging hormones too. She wasn't getting any younger and relationships were impossible in her line of work, the last time she 'dallied' had been in the Dr Who 'verse during his eighth incarnation that, luckily, wasn't used much. She'd joined him for a few months using a canon character called Charley to hide her identity. Charlie had her hands under Lorne's shirt and he'd managed to undo all the button's on hers when the snarking voice of Lennie was heard over the radio
"What are you, my mother? Stop being a nudnick and leave me alone", said Lennie's voice, Charlie came to her senses
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me," she said as she backed away from Lorne "I'm so, so sorry". Charlie picked up her pack, did up her buttons and walked swiftly out of the door, dropping splattered bunny goo in her wake. She opened the door and found Lenny and Madison waiting in the hall.
"What took you so long?" snarked Lennie, Charlie glared
"There was a guy in there; I couldn't take out the bunnies could I?" Charlie wanted to get out pronto "come on let's move out" she said as she stalked off,
"Is it me or are her shirt buttons done up wrong?" said Madison.
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AN: This is defiantly not my best work but we all have an off day.
Mills and Boon are publishers of a popular series of fluffy romance stories, a particular favourite of my Nan's.
