USS Alabama
By: CrazyJoeKungFu
A/n: Since I know for a fact that travel by sea tends to take a long time, I figured this was the best place for this one shot fic. I do not own the Dragon Ball Universe nor the Harry Potter universe. This is also based on supersaiyan34's fanfic work, so thank you supersaiyan34 for your permission.
The USS Alabama
One might assume that the USS Alabama was just a normal aircraft carrier. Well those that assume such a thing could not be more wrong as it had a most unique crew. The whole ship was completely run by a race of aliens, with the exception of the human bridge crew, who were thought to be extinct. That race was known throught the entire universe as the saiyans. They were prideful, boastful, ruthless and simply aching for a good fight.
One woman is about to either motivate them, or piss them off to the point that she would be eventually ripped to shreds. She just happened to he 1/4 saiyan with jet black hair and her mother Ginny's dark chocolate eyes and facial features. Also she wore a white shirt showing her midriff and brown jeans.
A blond headed male, who looked very much like his blond father Draco Malfoy, was reasonably worried for her safety. He saw as his companion pulled out a small disk, which one would assume would be for a movie and blanched.
"Oh bloody hell Panny, you show this your going to get us murdered," the blond man panicked.
"Relax Scorp, I'm just gonna show how history will portray them if they lose. Didn't your mum produce this garbage anyway?" Pan replied with an air of confidence and a slight bit of mischief.
"My mum produced a lot of "those" kind of movies. Especially about Harry Potter and his friends," Scorpius replied. Then the two of them just happen to run into a certain spiky haired demi-saiyan, who had his armor inside the watch for the time being, dressed in a green army uniform with five stars on the shoulders, signifying his position as the Commanding General of the American Armed Forces. He was considered the commander of the Allied Forces as well.
"Wow dad, thought I'd never see you out of that get up," Pan smirked before the saiyan/teenage general.
"Very funny Pan. Ah what's this," Gohan replied to his future daughter as he took the movie and read the title. The five star general frowned as it read "The Monkeys and the Ghastly Trio."
"W-well dad...it's a movie from my time. You see Pansy Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle took over the movie industry under Cell's authority and well...most of the movies of my time are like this. There are also awful ones also about all of you individually, especially this ghastly one making fun of Cedric Diggory and," Pan was cut off by Gohan, who simply put a hand up to signify her to stop talking.
"I get it. This is the way history will remember us if we fail...I'll have the saiyans view this tonight," Gohan smirked at his future daughter, which had poor Scorpius whiter in the face than ever if it was possible.
Inside the theater room..
A rather large group of the monkey tailed aliens gathered inside the small movie theater like room. The screen was meant for images to be shown for strategic purposes, but also had a projector where they would show a movie or two now and again. Gohan went up to the stage and held an enchanted microphone.
"Ok saiyans I have a bit of a treat for you today. We are here to watch a movie provided to us by Pan over here to my right," Gohan said before gesturing to the young woman," now she will give a short speech, followed by our feature presentation." The general handed his mic to the young woman and joined his fellow saiyans in the audience, who were getting impatient.
"Oh c'mon, when are we going to get to London," shouted one of the male saiyans, who would be only slightly taller than Vegeta.
"Oh shut up Beetz! I'll probably kill more of those Death Eater idiots than you will anyway!" a female saiyan shouted, causing raucous laughter among the group.
"Aw Caulia Flora, you know that I'll kill more than the both of ya put together!" Bardock shouted causing more rowdy laughter amongst them.
"Not as much as me Gramps!" Gohan shouted, causing Bardock to glare at him as the saiyans laughed it up.
"QUIET!" Pan shouted into the magic microphone, causing the saiyans and Scorpius in the projector room to cover their ears.
'Wow, she does have her mother's lungs,' Gohan thought as he felt his ears ring a bit from the scream.
"Ok now that I have your attention I am going to warn you something about this movie. It will not look favorably on our kind," she spoke as she wiggled her tail noticeably for emphasis, "If you feel like destroying something after this I'd strongly advise that you save that energy for the beach in London. This is one of the films that was created under the Future Propaganda era of the movie industry in my time. Note that this is how history will largely remember you should our side lose this war, like it did in my time. Now on to our movie, hit it Scorpius!"
"I swear that she's going to get us killed," the young Malfoy boy whispered to himself as he put the disc inside the projector and the movie began to play.
The movie started playing. The first screen was a black and white logo of a snake wrapped around a nude woman with her back turned, looking behind her and on the bottom said MALFOY PICTURES. The second logo was one with two crows with the one of the left saying "Crabbe" and the other saying "Goyle" and the word STUDIOS was what they were perched upon. Then the scene shifted to the scottish countryside as the beginning credits rolled.
MALFOY PICTURES
in association with
CRABBE AND GOYLE STUDIOS
presents
A PANSY MALFOY FILM
And after a few moments in really big letters coming toward the screen.
THE MONKEYS AND THE GHASTLY TRIO
The movie went into more shots of the countryside as the names of the actors popped up on the screen. After the opening credits the movie went to a cave where there were a bunch of people in costumes that resemble the movie Planet of the Apes, with each ape sporting a different hairstyle. The scene then went to a large image of "Gohan" pacing back and forth as "Bardock" walked toward him with his knuckles dragging the ground. Instead of speaking english, all they did was make ape noises to each other while subtitles were on the bottom of the screen.
"Bardock what is it," "Gohan" said in ape noise, causing the one it was making light of to growl at the screen.
"Harry and his friends are here to show us a plan to fight Voldemort and Cell," "Bardock" said in ape noise as he jumped up and down, causing Bardock to growl like his grandson.
"We'll then, let's let them in," Ape Gohan said as he walked upright. The ape opened the door and three people entered. One girl with disheveled hair and gigantic buck teeth who one would assume to be Hermione, which made Gohan and Pan angry since the real witch died in the battle of New York. A red weasel/man followed her making even Bardock pissed off since he died a heroes death and caused massive damage to the imperial fleet in the process. Then a boy in glasses, a lightning scar, and a mouth full of rotted teeth entered the cave, causing the entire room to feel pangs of anger.
"Oh hey you three," the ape costumed actor portraying Gohan said as he could all of the sudden talk like a human.
"Oh hi Mr. Gohan, ahyuck!" "Hermione" replied as she sounded more like a certain Disney character named Goofy than anything else.
"Oh hi Gohan," said the weasel named Ron who did more buck-toothed and rat noises.
"Hey Gohan," sneered the shaggy haired boy as he brought his meth like mouth into full view. The Ghastly Trio entered the cave of the apes and along with the two monkeys discussed their plan to fight the wizard and the android.
The movie shifted to this shiny castle where Cell, who was casted by someone who had a high degree of good looks since it was a human form, and Voldemort, who looked more like a benevolent alien than his true snakelike form, were living inside. Everything shined in this castle from the tables, to the suits of armor, to the thrones, even the dungeons were sparkling.
"Well I wonder what those vile cretins have in store for us," said the obviously heroic Cell alongside his frowning wizard friend.
"Who knows Cell, but one things for sure. Our world will be ruined by those evil apes, satanic mudbloods, and the blood traitors if they succeed. Or destroyed altogether," said the fair voice "Voldemort" completely out of character from his true self. Cell placed his hand on the shoulder of Voldemort as he would a true friend and looked him straight in the eye.
"Rest assured old friend, we will save the wizarding world from those vile creatures,' "Cell" said with his overly english accented voice.
"More like throw it into Hell you fucked up bastard!" Gohan yelled, causing jockular laughter among the saiyans. Pan just put her face into her palm in response. The scene went on as they went to talk about Dumbledore as their evil leader and how he liked to capture pureblood women for the apes to have their way with.
The scene shifted to a dark castle where wizards were being herded to different rooms. The first 10 rooms read "for muggle slaves only" where the young kids were taught how to be obedient slaves to muggle masters. The rooms on the second floor were "for Muggle-Borns Only," where everything was clean and shiny and the teachers were extra nice. The rooms in the dungeons were reserved for Pure Bloods getting whipped for no reason and treated like animals. Some would say that the scene was a blatant reference to the way pure blood activists were treated before Cell and Voldemort came along.
"What a load of crap!" Bardock shouted, recognizing instantly like even the biggest simpleton would that this was propaganda based. Pan shushed him as the movie continued playing.
At the top of the castle was an old man sitting on a big black throne. Sitting beside him at his right hand was the Gohan like ape and on his left was "Harry the Meth Mouth." The three of them observed a gigantic man leading a group of scantily-clad women in a chain gang. The ape of the trio put a hand on his chin as he looked at the group of female prisoners. The old man smirked as he motioned for the man one assumed to be the role of Hagrid to speak.
"Lord Dumbledore! I got a fresh crop for ye saiyan friends!" "Hagrid" bellowed in a deep scottish accent.
"I see," sneered "Dumbledore" as he looked over to the ape. Both "Gohan" and the meth mouthed wizard hopped off their perspective thrones as they looked over the pureblood prisoners. The ape looked intently as he saw each of the women who were a mixture of many different hair colors and skin types. Most of them were frightened as the ape looked over them like a piece of meat. His meth mouthed friend ran over to one petite brunette and licked her face as he sniffed her like an animal.
"HARRY DO NOT SPOIL THE MERCHANDISE!" bellowed the ape, which frightened Harry off of the woman. "Gohan" then went over to her and stroked her face to calm her down. Then something caught the eye of the young man. A blonde haired woman with a volutptous figure glared at the ape with a stern look on her face, not showing an ounce of fear at the villainous portrayal of Gohan. The monkey smiled as he saw the fierce girl and licked his lips.
"Send the women to the other saiyans...this one goes to my chambers," "Gohan" ordered as he sauntered his way to the brave looking woman. "Hagrid" grinned, "Harry" showed his gnarled teeth and "Dumbledore" cackled as the women were lead away by ape guards.
The scene shoots to "Cell" and "Voldemort" riding to the evil castle on dragons, along with an invasion force in overly shiny armor with wand in hand. "Cell" gave some heroic speech and the group invaded the villanous lair.
An ape ran up the steps and barged in on "Gohan", who was holding down the blond woman down from earlier. He stammered something about how Cell was about to enter the castle and ran away before "Gohan" could kill him.
"Looks like I will give you your reward later," the evil ape said as he chained her to the bed quickly before sniffing her like an animal, causing her to be instantly creeped out. The monkey leader exited and put on his armor for battle.
The movie went to the big battle scene as the two villians portrayed as heroes entered, cutting through the opposition. In the castle courtyard the two of them encountered the three villians.
"Dumbledore, your reign of terror is over!" shouted "Voldemort" to the evil wizard before killing him quickly with a green light. The meth mouth Harry glared at Voldemort as they wound up throwing curse after curse at each other.
"Gohan, you vile rapist and terror of the universe. You deserve no mercy!" shouted Cell as he went into fighting stance.
"Bring it on pretty boy!" "Gohan" said before turning into a golden monkey. The two of them engage in an all out brawl, crashing through the castle back and forth. The two seperate for a few minutes to catch their breath. Then Cell pulls out a banana and throws it to Gohan, who was jumping up and down like an ape. Cell takes this opportunity to behead the ape and run up the steps to rescue the damsel.
Voldemort winds up killing Harry by zapping him into a huge spike. The wizard shouted at his meth mouthed opponent to stay dead. "Ron" and "Hermione" see their impaled friend and put their wands to their heads. One curse later and there was a double suicide.
The final scene showed "Cell's" army celerbrating as the two "heroes" make the castle sparkle with a wave of their wands. The armed forces celebrate as they burn the bodies of many apes and "evil" rescued damsel kisses Cell and a giant sentence dominates the screen.
SUPPORT THE EMPIRE!
The credits roll and Scorpius shuts off the projector. The lights come back on revealing the saiyans with scowls on their faces as Pan went back up to the podium.
"This is how history will remember us if we fail," Pan said in the microphone. Gohan went up and thanked his future daughter as he took the device from her hand.
"We'll I don't know about you, but I think that film was a piece of crap," Gohan said, causing the saiyans to shout various obsenities at the film.
"He's right," shouted one of them.
"Yeah, when do we get to kill some death eaters!" shouted another.
"I say we kill the wench who showed us the film!" shouted Beetz.
"BEETZ! YOU TOUCH HER AND I WILL HAVE YOUR ASS DRAWN AND QUARTERED!" shouted Gohan, causing the room to go silent. Bardock smirked at his grandson for Pan was his great-granddaughter.
"WHO ARE YOU TO COMMAND ME!" shouted the short saiyan.
"HE'S MY GRANDSON!" Bardock shouted, causing a chill to go up the villians spine," plus he could kill you a thousand times over you squat little bastard! You will follow our command or you will answer to the both of us. YOU UNDERSTAND!" Beetz nodded and decided that keeping his mouth shut would be the best idea at the moment.
"Thanks gramps. Now others of you that want to destroy something I suggest you save it for when we land at London. We are going to kill every last death eater, dark creature or anyone else for that matter who serve the two "Heroes" of this film. We will win this war and we will stop this abomination from ever being made! Now who's with me!" Gohan shouted as the saiyans cheered loudly in response. Scorpious opened the door and threw the disk to Gohan, who caught it with no trouble.
"To the end of the Empire!" Gohan shouted as he closed his hand, shattering the disk into many tiny pieces.
A/N: I think Gohan would wear a military type uniform at times in the army where there was no battle. The five star rank is the highest rank in the armed forces and there haven't been many of them in history. Hopefully this was a joy to read and again thank supersaiyan34 for his permission.