The colonel could hardly believe his good fortune. How could it possibly have come to this? Such a difficult beginning in life had led him to believe that love would always exist just outside of his grasp and yet here she was, lying next to him, looking like the Angel he knew her to be. He was finally married and had the good fortune of securing as his bride the love of his life Miss Marianne Dashwood. She was to him, perfection. He was not blind to her flaws but his good nature allowed him to appreciated them and he remained determined to adhere to her every whim since the day she chose to spend her life with him. No one would diminish her beautiful spirit again now that he was there to protect her from harm. He woke each morning beside her as happy to see her beautiful face as he was to welcome her to bed each night. Some mornings he lay for some time and stared at her gentle beauty, occasionally unable to stop himself sweeping a curl from her lovely forehead. Sometimes, he would purposely create a disturbance upon waking in order that she might wake too so he could hear her sweet voice chastising him. Life had taught him some difficult lessons, none more important than that time was always moving forward and he was determined not to waste a moment of his life with Marianne.
Marianne stirred in her sleep as he touched her hair,
'Do not fuss husband! She complained, 'My rest is very precious to me. If you would have me wake so early, you really should allow me to take my rest at a more reasonable hour.'
The colonel smirked,
'I feel the blame for my...indiscretions lies solely with you my dear. If you were not quite so...vigorous? I would not feel the need to attend to you quite so... throughly.'
Marianne eyes remained closed but her mouth tugged into a smile, and at length a giggle escaped her lips,
'No it won't do. She sat up and looked at him, Very well colonel, I am awake. What would you do with me?'
The colonel's eyebrow thrust upwards,
'I feel the important question here is what wouldn't I do with you?'
At that Marianne laughed out loud and threw herself at him. Christopher delighted in surprising her with such remarks. So reserved in public, he could be delightfully intimate in private. Something his new bride had been delighted to discover. He smiled as he caught her in a tight embrace. His wife was exceedingly passionate in everything she did. To many, it appeared that she was as wild as he was reserved, at least that's the impression they cultivated leading some to believe they were too different to make a good match, but the colonel understood better than most that it was a wonderful gift to enjoy life to the fullest and experience emotions as keenly as Marianne did. Instead of repelling him, it was the very thing that has attracted him to Marianne. He appreciated her outlook and wanted to protect her from the dangers she was ignorant of.
If only Marianne could have remained untainted by the horrors of this world. He hugged her tighter as he remembered how he had very nearly lost her forever owing to the unscrupulous behaviour of one insufferable man. Marianne sensed his distress and removed herself from his embrace. She took his face in her hands in order to secure his full attention,
'Look at me Christopher.' She fixed her beautiful blue eyes upon him. 'I am here, I am well and I am no longer in any pain. That is completely your doing Christopher, I owe everything to your kind patience, continuous care and unwavering confidence that I was more than my own self pity. Please do not allow the past to invade your thoughts, it has no place here.'
The colonel smiled and shook his head,
'You are far wiser than your 19 years my dear,'
Marianne smirked, 'yes I lost my bloom at too young an age. Oh woe is me!,'
She placed her hand to her forehead. The colonel laughed heartily, a laugh that he had only discovered he was capable of since the mischievous miss Marianne had entered his home and taken up permanent residence in his heart.
'Tis true,' He agreed. And tried to fight his smile as she glared at him. 'Your bloom is gone for you are the most beautiful fully blossomed rose I ever encountered.'
Marianne's face broke into a magnificent smile and she hugged him again,
'I am sorry my colonel,' she whispered. 'I am truly sorry for failing to see what was so plain to my family from the beginning, that you were always my true champion and worthy of my attention, more worthy than...'
Brandon kissed the top of her head,
'Hush now, I could never have accepted your affection if it were based on a sense of obligation. I never expected you to ever see me as anything more than a loyal friend and I would have been the happiest of men if that is all I remained to be to you. This is far more than I could have ever imagined. I hardly know how to bear the happiness you have bestowed upon me. It is quite a change of circumstance for me.'
He ran a hand through his hair. Although he was certain of Marianne's regard for him, he still doubted how deep her affections ran. Their whirlwind romance had seemed too good to be true, and he could not help but wonder if some of her heart still belonged to Willoughby.
He thought back on the past few months. The happiest times he had ever encountered prior to his marriage. The weeks leading up to his proposal had been most vexing. The time they spent together had become more and more frequent. He had wondered if it had been his imagination, if his own hopeful heart had made more of the smiles and looks she bestowed upon him, of her keen interest in his taste in music, novels and poetry, encouraging him to tell stories of his travels and her occasional visits to his stables to admire his horses. They took endless walks, where he listened intently as she waxed lyrical about the landscapes, quoting poetry and songs inspired by natures beauty and eventually she confided in him her hopes and her dreams, her true inspirations and her desires for the future. He couldn't help it. He allowed himself to believe that there was a place for him in that future. He had held back from proposing until there had been a clear sign of her affection for him. That day has come when he had least expected it.
A day when he had been due to see Marianne but had cancelled their engagement as Beth had wrote with some alarming news of a possible medical complication with her confinement. Sick with worry, he had been quickly preparing plans to go to be at her side immediately when his housekeeper announced the arrival of Miss Marianne. Startled and quite unprepared to answer questions as to his disheveled appearance and state of undress he stood in stunned silence trying to collect his thoughts. His Marianne however wasted no time. She was momentarily taken back by the situation she had unwittingly walked into, but she recovered much faster than Brandon.
'What is it? What's wrong? It's Beth isn't it? What can I do?'
She crossed the room in moments and took his hands in hers pulling them up to her chin, she starred into his eyes with genuine concern. He had previously explained the story to her in its entirety, he found that once Marianne knew parts of the story she couldn't rest until she knew all of the particulars. The colonel had worried it would cool her interest to learn of his first love, but Marianne has grown and it only served to provide another mutual connection between them. They had both been disappointed in their first dalliance with love.
'If I can help, please say.' She waited for him to reply.
Finally his voice came back to him and resisting the urge to kiss her lovely little hands grasping his he forced a smile for her benefit,
'I'm so sorry that I can not see you today, you have guessed correctly that urgent business calls me away and yes I admit that Beth is the reason for my sudden departure, but please I would appreciate your discretion regarding this information.'
'You can be assured Colonel, you have my discretion. Always.'
Marianne had looked at him with such tenderness in her eyes, that he had known without a doubt that their relationship had evolved. He decided to take a leap of faith. Still holding her hands he squeezed them tight and brought one to his mouth not taking his eyes from hers. He watched her mouth fall open as her eyes followed his movements carefully. His lips lightly brushed her soft fingers and he observed her drawing in a sharp breath. Her eyes flooded with desire and he drew confidence from her reaction. When he spoke again his voice was tinged with emotion,
'I thank you for your concern. Just knowing that your thoughts are with me is enough.'
Marianne smiled. 'Be assured then that my thoughts are rarely committed elsewhere.'
She looked at him meaningfully and he smiled down at her. His Marianne. His beautiful, open hearted Marianne.
'I must go but please know I will be thinking of you. I will return as soon as I am able.'
'Is Beth well?'
'It is... unclear. Her letter was erratic. I must go and see if there is anything I can do. At the very least I can provide her with comfort and make sure all the necessities of payment and such are taking care of.'
'You are a good man Colonel. She is exceedingly fortunate to have you as her guardian.'
'That is kind of you to say.'
'It is not kindness it is the truth.'
He reluctantly let go of her hands and led her to the door. As he mounted his horse he smiled down at her.
'When I return I think, that is I do not mean to presume but I believe there is much to discuss, would you permit me to come to you as soon as I am able?' She had smiled up at him and nodded. As soon as he had secured that Beth was well and did not require his assistance, he made sure she was provided for and returned home equal parts thrilled and anxious to see Marianne again. He had quickly secured her mothers approval and had waited patiently in the drawing room for his beloveds arrival. She entered like a warm breeze, and glanced shyly across the room at him. He sensed she was aware of his intentions, and that only served to make him more nervous.
'Colonel, it is so good to see you. I hope that Beth is well.'
'She is thank you, upon seeing her a great burden of worry has been lifted from me. I was excessively concerned upon receiving her note but it does appear she has improved remarkably since then. I have procured an excellent doctor and nursing staff and checked the references of her house staff. I believe she will be very comfortable there and I am satisfied she will be well cared for.'
'That is good news indeed. I am so glad to hear it.'
'There is another matter I would discuss with you, miss Marianne.'
Marianne sat opposite him,
'There is?' She asked innocently. He almost laughed at the expectation he saw lingering in her eyes. Brandon raked his fingers through his hair.
'I would like to discuss with you the possibility...that is perhaps you would consider...what I mean to convey is...oh for goodness sake!'
Marianne jumped at his sudden outburst. It was very out of character but it did not scare her he noted it only seemed to intrigue her further. He left his seat and knelt before her, Marianne's eyes widened and then she smiled as if amused,
'I wanted to follow propriety but it won't do. There are some things in this world more important that creating the countenance of polite civility.'
He looked resolutely into her eyes,
'Marianne. There is no women equal to you in my esteem. From the first moment I saw you, I was captivated and I found to my surprise that my heart was no longer my own. It belonged to you from that day forth and it is still under your protection. I realise that we have many differences but I also feel strongly that if I don't ask you to be mine, I will profusely regret it for the remainder of my empty existence. Would you consent to making me the happiest man alive by allowing me your hand in marriage?'
Marianne was still and silent. She blinked in quick concession. Brandon started to worry that he had misjudged the situation, that perhaps he had imagined her feelings. He rushed to fill the silence that had fallen between them,
'Miss Marianne, please I beg you say something. I apologise for shocking you...'
She interrupted his sentence by raising from her chair and embracing him tightly. He almost fell as he shifted his position and struggled to balance under her weight. She settled herself in his lap on the floor and took his face in her hands.
'That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I have long suspected that I had misjudged you. You are only reserved to protect yourself, you are passionate where and when it matters, I see this now. Yes I will be your wife my dear colonel. Nothing would give me greater pleasure.'
With that she took him by surprise and kissed him and he had quickly surrendered to the wonderful feeling of her lips and her body pressed against his. Desire surged within him, her hair smelt like the air after a downpour and her lips were as soft and pliant as rose petals. When they finally parted he could see Marianne was as affected as he was. Her pupils were dilated and she inhaled slowly. When she raised her eyes to his, he was taken back by the emotions he could see portrayed within her. He struggled to describe what he saw but he knew instinctively something has awoken within her.
That kiss had spoken to Marianne on a primal level, the side of her she was always taught to keep in check, the side she was told to hide or suppress drank it up, and wanted more. How extraordinary that this man should be the one to arouse such stirrings within her soul! The man that she once thought the dullest man in England! His eyes bore into hers and she knew without a doubt that she had been deceived regarding his character. What other revelations lay beneath his exceedingly restrained exterior? He had provoked her curiosity for some time but that kiss had enticed her to give him her full attention. Following that day, it was almost impossible to see Marianne without Brandon or visa versa.
Life had taught Brandon that people did not always receive the happy endings they longed for. Although he was proud and greatly honoured to have Marianne on his arm, he longed for her to love him as he loved her, though he did not doubt that she cared for him greatly and she showed it often in her actions and her warm smiles. One of Marianne's greatest attributes was her inability to deceive, in a world full of insincere smiles adorned only for the sake of politeness, Marianne's face always portrayed her true feelings and Brandon loved her all the more for it.
Marianne pulled his attention away from the past as she leisurely stretched and he was distracted by the light from the nearby window catching her golden tresses and cascading down her cotton nightgown giving him a tantalising glimpse of the perfect figure that resided beneath its delicate folds. He took a deep shaky breath. She could not be oblivious to how much she affected him? As if she knew his thoughts she turned and smiled at him shyly,
'You will make me blush sir.'
'I think my Marianne, it is you who will make me blush.' He sighed.
She looked delighted by the notion.
'Well colonel I do believe that is a first. I am exceedingly pleased to know that I am the cause of your embarrassment and I promise to abuse this new information as often as I am able.'
'I would expect nothing less of you my vexatious wife.'
She chuckled, 'I am glad that you accept your fate is to be teased mercilessly by your
Impetuous choice of spouse.'
'I welcome it whole heartedly my love.' He realised his mistake too late to rectify the situation and scolded himself for spoiling the unguarded moment of tranquility that they had shared. Marianne always shyed away from the term of endearment. He had noticed that she was careful not to use the word love when she addressed her feelings for him. He did not resent her for it, he applauded her honestly. When the time was right she would allow her heart to love again. He understood why she was reluctant to surrender her affections. Experience has taught her to be cautious and he admired her for learning from her past mistakes when others might have buried the memories away and made no use of them. He took her hand brought it to his lips and kissed it tenderly,
'I encourage you to always share your feelings with me Marianne and I will always share mine with you. There is little to be achieved by my attempting to deceive you so I will speak plainly. You are fully aware you are my world, but do not think my heart will break if I am not yours. I know you feel deeply for me,' Marianne squeezed his hand in agreement, 'and that is more than I could ever have hoped for.'
Marianne nodded but he could still see sadness in her eyes. Time to distract his young bride from her futile thoughts,
'I believe your sister is favouring us with a visit this afternoon is she not? We should prepare her gift.'
Marianne glowed, grateful for the subject change and the chance to discuss her sisters impending birth,
'Yes. We must make sure everything is in place for her arrival. However first I think I owe you an apology for my impertinent remarks earlier...'
The colonel frowned,
'You owe me no apologies Marianne, twas all in good humour...'
Marianne cut him off by settling herself across his legs and kissing him deeply. Brandon had found that Marianne's passionate demeanour extended into all aspects of her life, and he was a grateful recipient of her spirited attentions.
'Upon further consideration,' he began, 'I find myself to be greatly wounded by your earlier remarks,'
he placed his hand on the back of her head and pulled her in for another kiss. He felt her smile against his lips.
'Well then my colonel, 'she breathed as she shifted in his lap, 'We shall have to do something to put you at ease and reaffirm my devotion to you.'
And no more words were said as they lost themselves to the pleasure of being completely engrossed in one another and as the colonel felt the all encompassing bliss that flowed through him as they were intertwined he wondered how he could have considered himself happy before Marianne entered his world and simultaneously, his heart.
