Bed of Glitter
"It always is harder to be left behind than to be the one to go..." - Brock Thoene
It hurts to be left behind. Sakura can testify to that.
After all, she's been left behind enough times before, in terms of skill and strength, even in terms of beauty. But this really has to take the cake, being left behind in the land of the living.
She's lost them for good this time, no more fragmented shards of hope to cling on to gingerly, nor half-remembered dreams of a complete together forever team to reach towards.
Sasuke has been lost to her for a long time, perhaps ever since that impossibly sincere "thank you" that sounded too much like a forever farewell. Indeed, the next time Sakura sees him, he is no longer her Sasuke-kun in any sense of the word.
Yet that does not dampen the pain, because she has been working chasing striving her whole life to catch up, to prove herself to him, to bring him back, to show him her worth. And somewhere in between the amazing strong brave kunoichi of today and the weak helpless scared girl she willingly left behind, despite his darkness and cruelty, his grip on her heart has only grown stronger.
She cannot say truthfully that she has never thought of giving up, for it has been so very difficult to believe at times when all she can see is his back, pulling further and further away. But how can she, when there is even the slightest glimmer of hope that her Sasuke-kun is still there, buried in the recesses of the stranger in his body? And so she has always fought, tooth and nail, to get close enough to grab the back of his shirt and drag him around to face her, to prove that the stranger's face isn't so unfamiliar after all.
The pain of losing Naruto is infinitely different. He has always surpassed her, being stronger fiercer faster than her, his determination a flame that will never go out. When he leaves her behind for larger better important deeds, it only inspires her to push on, to catch up to him, to one day stand by his side as the best partnership there will ever be. He is her hero, her golden boy, and she watches him draw away from her with nothing more than pride.
But Naruto has never had an ounce of selfishness in him. He turns around to wait, every time, and just smiles his signature grin as Sakura tries to catch up, one hand stretched out to pull her closer. He has always been there for her, in grief and in joy, and Sakura loves him in a way that she can never love Sasuke.
Naruto is the one who catches up to Sasuke first, of course, for there is no other way. Sakura is bitter as she stands at the edge of the bloody battlefield, unable to take her eyes from her boys, her precious people who have gone on and left her behind again. The Madara-imposter lies mangled at one end of the clearing; at the other, Naruto is propped against a tree, slumped to the side with a gaping hole in his chest and a cavity where his heart should be. Sasuke lies just feet from his rival brother friend, where he fought to the end with the sole intention to protect the dying jinchuriki.
It does not surprise her that Naruto is the one to draw Sasuke back to them, the one to fulfil the dream they have been chasing after for years. After all, she can offer nothing but love and constancy, and none of the volatile rivalry Sasuke almost enjoys. Yet she would turn back time in a heartbeat, turn her back on years of hard work, just to have both her boys alive again, even if they never reconcile for the rest of their lives. Naruto has made her dream a reality, paying for it with his last breath, and her dream has crumbled into a nightmare.
More than Sakura's bitterness is not sadness, but emptiness, where she is convinced pieces of her heart are gone. As medically impossible as she knows it is, there can be no other explanation for the complete blankness she feels. No shock, or anguish, or anger, just a complete lack of emotion that brings her to her knees in the dew-wet grass. There is a door between her and her boys now, and all she wants is to do is to sit at the foot of it and wait to be let in.
Kakashi has always been wrong all these years. Sakura hasn't lost her way on the road of life, she's lost herself and everything that entails. Somehow that is worse, because everything is gone—her dreams and motivation, her passion and love. She is drained in every possible way, and nothing will ever fill that hole left in her.
Although perhaps Sakura has just one dream left in her. A tiny one, that flickers dimly and leaves wavering shadows on her soul. She dreams of dying, of waking in a bed of glitter to Naruto's excited babbling and Sasuke's reserved smiles; she dreams of walking with her boys team family on an endless road, where it doesn't matter where they're going, because this is all they need and want, and nobody will ever be left behind again.