The Missing Scenes from 1969!

Teal'c learns how to drive! ppl run screaming

Author's note: This is written by ppl just learning how to drive. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Teal'c: Indeed.

"Ok," said Daniel as he held up a shiny piece of metal, "this is the car key. It makes the car start." "What is a car," the stoic Jaffa asked, just to annoy the geeky space monkey. Daniel sighed. "This is gonna be a loooooooooooooooong lesson. Well, for starters, a car is like a personal ship. There are different types of cars, just like there are different types of ship. Each car is different and handles differently; some are easy, and some just plain suck. (Marauder: Yeah, like my crappy, no good, stupid, piece of cr-err, metal.) Do you get it so far?" "I believe I do, DanielJackson. Please, continue." "Ok. Now, you place the key in the ignition; that makes the car start. Make sure your foot is on the brake- -the big pedal." Teal'c placed his foot on the brake and placed the key in its hole….and waited. "DanielJackson, I believe this device is no longer functional." "Why aren't they back from the store yet," he muttered under his breath. "Did you say something, DanielJackson?" "No, nothing at all. Um, you have to turn the key, uh, this way, and then take it out of park and put it to drive, uh move the stick from the P to the D like this" said Daniel as he made the motions with his hand. "Understood," replied Teal'c. Daniel closed his eyes, wishing he was back in his lab, in his own time, reading a book, when the car suddenly lurched forward. "AH! What just happened," cried the archeologist. "It appears that this device is functional after all. Now what should I do, DanielJackson?" "Hit the break! HIT THE BREAK," Daniel screamed as he covered his eyes as the traffic on the street came speedily towards them. The van came to a screeching halt. Daniel, with shaking hands, uncovered his eyes to find them just before the street with the other cars zooming by. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh where's a parking lot when you need it?" "I believe there is one a few blocks south of here. Shall I transport us there, DanielJackson?" "NO! No, I'll drive."Yes, it will be a VERY long lesson thought the archeologist.
Back at the store they had parked in front of
"Um, where's the van," asked Jack. "Hey, didn't your friend say he was gonna teach your friend how to drive," asked the young man that was with them. "You think they're dead," asked Sam. "I don't think so," replied Jack. "And why do you think this," retorted Sam. "Because I taught him how to drive months ago…I just wanna see space monkey freak out," answered Jack cheeckily.

There's more to the Interrogation than Meets the Eye

Teal'c's Version

A/N: Don't ask, just don't.

Teal'c laced his fingers together and placed his hands on top of the table, mimicking the officer in front of him. "Alright, let's go through this again. What's your name?" "Important not, my name is." The officer sighed. "Ok, buck-o, let's try another question. How did you get in here?" "Brought in, I was." "NOT IN HERE AS IN THIS ROOM! I MEAN IN HERE AS IN THIS COMPLEX!" Teal'c nodded. "Not for you to know, it is. Pointless, these questions are. Asking them, you shall stop," replied the Jaffa as he waved his hand in front of the officer. (Dark: Can ya guess who Teal'c is? Anybody? I'll give you a cookie if you get it right) The officer sighed, "send him away."

Back in the room they were being held in
"So how did it go," asked Daniel. He had a funny feeling he would be next. "It seems that the jedi mind trick does, in fact, work," Teal'c replied calmly. Jack snickered, Sam rolled her eyes, and Daniel tried desperately to remember the Star Wars movies in order to remember how it was done.

Getting Gas

A/N: Yes, we know you are sick of cars. And to make you hate us more, we'll be talking about how cheap gas was in those days!

Sam rubbed her eyes to double check the price of gas. "Holy Hannah! Only $1.30 for gas! No way!" "Yes way, Carter," replied Jack as he proceeded to fill up the tank. "So, just how old were you in 1969?" "Ah-ah! Never ask a man his age, Carter." "I thought that was a woman thing, sir. Or is there something you've been hiding from us?" "Watch it, Carter. I won't play nice when angered." Sam smirked, "Of course. Though, that's not what you said last night." Jack stared at her with a deer-in-the-headlights look. "Uh…look! We spent $5 for a full tank of gas! Let's pay and get out of here," he replied hastily. Sam smiled as he retreated to go pay. After putting the pump back, putting the cap on and closing the gas door, she started to get back in the van. But not before she was pinned up against the side with no way out. She looked up to see Jack's face within inches of her own, his body pressed up against her. He bent to her ear and said in a husk voice, "but don't think that you've won…darling." He slowly pulled away from her and entered the van, leaving a dazed Samantha Carter behind him. She quickly recovered and entered the van, like nothing had happened, like her CO hadn't just pinned her up against the van and brought back memories of the night before. (Authors: snicker) As she looked at the colonel and saw the smug grin he had on his face she smiled sweetly back while thinking Not yet…luv.

A/N:Ok, we've given you three. Now, go entertain yourselves and STAY OUT OF THE GUTTER! Dark: But Marauder, we helped place their minds IN the gutter with that last one!
Marauder: I have a car now…..I have responsibilities.

Dark: glares It's a sports car.

Marauder: Well…..you're right. But it was pre-loved!

Dark: glares

Marauder: Aw, what the heck! To the gutter! Batman music