Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you are the absolute coolest person you(Or anyone else, on any timeline, anywhere, any-when.) have ever met. You have extremely light blonde hair, and are often mistaken for an albino. Well, you were, that is, before you and your group of friends ENDED THE WORLD. The only clothing you've put on in three full years is the bright-red garb you won when you DIED playing a game that brought about said apocalypse. Your eyes are bright red. Although, no one knows about that, seeing as most of them haven't even had a chance to see them. You have a major problem with light. It's just so.. Bright. It give you a migraine. So, you naturally wear shades all the time. That's cool. You've got a seriously awesome pair of aviators, given to you by none other than John Egbert, dork extraordinaire. Although... maybe your BIOLOGICAL SISTER does.
Speaking of the seer, her name is ROSE LALONDE, and while you may be the coolest, she's the smartest. If anyone knows anything, it's her. If anyone can solve any puzzle, it's her. If anyone can do anything requiring intellectual prowess, it's fucking her. If anyone's a lesbian, it's also her. Not that you'd guess it, seeing as she doesn't run around in dude pants, or even pants at all, actually. Just like you, she wears her godteir garb around damn near always. Only her's is bright orange. Not awesome red, like yours.
Rose is awesome, but your best bro will always be a lame little derp-ass named JOHN EGBERT, who has terrible taste in movies, manages to be smart and simultaneously the most retarded person you know, and is the only person capable of keeping your chaotic band of teenagers together without imploding, before reversing said process because there's absolutely no fucking way you'd be able to survive being stuck together like that. He's also been very, very out of character lately, somehow finding a way to make himself the one person you can't fucking make contact with on this god forsaken rock. Oh yeah. You're also stuck on a meteor. Forgot about that. Not really though. It's kind of hard to forget that when there's nothing to do but sit around, staring at the walls, or participating in the lightning-fast gossip circle of hell you've been stuck in since you fucking entered the place.
You swear, everyone around you has gone ape-shit. Except a certain TEREZI PYROPE, who's been acting in for the Egderp for the last three years, and happens to be the only sensible person left. Everyone who's been here the whole time, well, they've gotten stir-crazy and bored. Boredom is a constant amongst all those on the meteor.
You've taken up beating a certain troll at his own game(It isn't actually his game per say, but he is a troll, so it kind of inherently is.) as a sort of hobby. Well, it's more like you've got nothing better to do, seeing as you're stuck on an asteroid, your bro's avoiding you, and there's only so much of Terezi you can take in one sitting. Although, there is no denying that it's pretty damn funny getting him all riled up. Not that he isn't already riled up. If he wasn't, you'd have all the more reason to piss him off. In your opinion, he deserves all the shit you give him, because really, who the hell doesn't like John? He may not actually be that terrible of a person, but he definitely has some serious problems.
On a lighter note, you love music. Or, more specifically, CREATING IT. You also make IRONICALLY RAD COMICS. Or you used to. It's kind of hard to make comics and throw together ill beats when you're stuck on an meteor without your turntables, or really much of anything useful for media. The horrible excuses for computers in your little pit of hell aren't good for much aside from communication, which is also useless when everyone you have the capability to contact is right fucking there, all the time.
What will you do?