My name is Tyran Rex. I'm a professional Dinosaur Hunter, who enjoys nothing more than bringing down some big ol' prehistoric beasties.
I adore this job not only because of the fact that I get to time travel all the way back to the Cretaceous period and to gaze upon the majesty of the dinosaurs themselves (before either trapping or killing them of course), but also because these missions help humanity make progress on things such as curing Terminal illnesses (don't ask me how Utahraptor bone marrow can help cure Ebola, I don't understand it either) and for scientists to study these magnificent creatures of the past for the betterment of mankind. But of course, most of my missions are also from people seeking more exotic head mounts, trophies and even pets on occasion. I also have plenty of trophies of my own in my personalized trophy room, but that's not really important. What is important, however, was the time that I found "her" - the companion of my dreams, all I could ever ask for in my entire life of hunting dinosaurs. Without her, I would have never felt true happiness and joy after having to perform the same tasks over and over again. She is my life.
I was assigned a new mission to collect a Utahraptor egg for somebody named Maia for about $900 so she can have a pet Utahraptor. Starting time: noon. "Seems simple enough" I thought to myself, as I was preparing myself for time travel again. I entered the area, through the blue vortex, for about the 500th or so time now, I only went with a Tranquilizer Pistol and a Sonic Blaster. The area was filled with Cretaceous plant life and the sounds of frogs croaking, dragonflies buzzing, birds chirping, and the sounds of the native dinosaurs roaming the land. I took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling prehistoric oxygen, and moved out. I went looking for a Utahraptor nest in the valley, but strangely enough, I couldn't find it. All I encountered was just herds of Gastonia, Styracosaurus and Iguanodon, migrating to another part of land. "But I remember the Valley being the Utah's favorite spot, weird...". I tried going to the swamplands instead to try and find the nest, only to be met with a pack of hungry Troodons that wanted nothing more than to feast on human flesh and bone. "Shit" I thought to myself as I gazed upon the horde of those little bandits. I took out my Sonic Blaster and fired it at one of the Troodons that was attempting to pounce onto my torso, it fell off of me and couldn't get up. But the other 7 Troodons kept nipping at my ankles and trying to latch onto my face like a bunch of Headcrabs, all while producing possibly the most irritating sounds my ears have ever had the misfortune of hearing. I took some bites, it kinda hurt, then, one Troodon happened to bite my testicles. It was one of the worst things I have ever felt in my entire life, but I kept fighting. Eventually all of them fell to the ground, never to wake up ever again, or so I thought. I was exhausted from that horrible encounter, barely able to walk or even hold my weapons. After roaming for about a minute, I encountered a herd of Lambeosaurs. The gigantic cow-like herbivorous reptiles were eating the plant life in the area, and I'm pretty sure I saw some of them mating. Then, I heard a loud, powerful, terrifying roar.
It was a T. rex, charging at the now panicking herd. It took down a Female Lambeosaur with a single, bone-crushing bite to the neck. I was hiding behind a rock, hoping for the King of Dinosaurs to leave after consuming its prey, accompanied by the fleshy and disturbing sound of crunching bones. With its hunger now satisfied, the beast walked away, presumably to rest in a desolate, lonely place where nothing could disturb it from its slumber. I moved out, starting to feel somewhat better, I immediately started looking for a Utahraptor nest once again.
Eventually I did come across a nest, one that was guarded by a lone Female Utahraptor, beige skin with tan and brown stripes with shorter plummage than the males. But something didn't feel right. I looked at that Utahraptor for what felt like hours, I don't know what specifically it was about this particular Utahraptor that had me so intrigued, but it was such a gorgeous sight, I knew that I still had to finish my mission, but I just couldn't stop staring at it. It was so, beautiful. I can't believe that I would ever have to even think this but, I wanted to stick my hard, meaty bone into its cloaca. She was my real target, my Saurian Target. I finally walked closer to it. It screamed at me, trying to intimidate me, but what she didn't know was that I was only getting harder and harder from it. Eventually she went in for a pounce. I shot her with a Tranquilizer Pistol a couple of times while dodging her attacks for about 2 minutes and she fell down to the ground, unable to resist. Then, I waited.
After lying down on the ground, surrounded by Cretaceous trees and pinecones(?), waiting for my wounds to heal, I finally felt ready for some action. But first I looked around to make sure that no hungry predators were around (herbivores were welcome to watch). Nothing.
I walked to that glorious-looking Utahraptor, barely able to contain myself from the thought of penetrating her wet, gaping hole with my rock-hard Triceratops horn. I crouched down to her sleeping body, and whispered into her tiny ear hole: "You are my prey, my Primal Prey".
I wasted no time and immediately took off every article of clothing on my body and slid my Styracosaurus horn into her hot, meaty cloaca. She immediately awakened and screamed in pain from my Ankylosaur tail club entering her love cave, like the asteroid crashing into Earth. She couldn't get up because she was still tired from the Tranquilizer rounds. She tried to kick me with her left foot. Her killing claw punctured my right thigh. I was bleeding, it hurt so bad, but not bad enough to stop me from ramming my Quetzalcoatlus beak into her fleshy tunnel. Eventually she didn't bother fighting back and seemed to actually be enjoying herself in an unusual way. Then I started to dine on her meaty, fleshy gap like an all-you-can-eat-buffet. It tasted just like chicken, but bigger, meatier and wetter. I was loving every single second of this amazing moment that I would never ever get to experience ever again.
I kept going at it just the same for about 20 minutes when suddenly, I felt as if a rock was thrown into the inside of my asshole. It turned out to be a Troodon that rushed into my anus, why an animal would do such a thing I couldn't possibly understand (especially how it even fit inside of me). But then I also saw 4 other Troodons, masturbating with the fury of a thousand Tyrannosaurs to the sight of me copulating with a Utahraptor with one of their pack members entering my anal cavity, which was now bleeding from the Troodon nipping at its fleshy walls and sticking its killer claw into one of the holes it created in it. Then I felt as if the Troodon was fucking me in my ass, the pain was nearly unbearable, but with that Utahraptor I couldn't feel anything other than pleasure and joy. There was blood, sweat, dinosaur semen and my own tears on the terrain. This kept going for what felt like days, I completely forgot why I came here in the first place, but that wasn't important to me anymore. I finally ejaculated into the Utahraptor's cloaca, and the Troodons ejaculated on the two of us, and I felt as if the one inside my anal cavity also ejaculated. I passed out, exhausted from the event. I was lying on the ground for god knows how long. I woke up, the Utahraptor was also passed out from this, and the Troodons seemed to be completely absent. I carried the Utahraptor with me on my way back home through the vortex, didn't bother taking the eggs. She felt so heavy on me, but I pushed through it. Home, sweet home.
I came back to the Present from the Cretaceous Period. I exited from the facility with the time portal that I'm not allowed to describe to anyone or I will be permanetly sent to the Cretaceous Period to never come back into the Present ever again. I walked all the way back home, everyone looked horrified at what they have just witnessed: a naked man with a gaping, torn apart, bleeding asshole carrying a "dead" Utahraptor covered in white juices. They were too shocked to do anything about this vision, so I was perfectly safe that time. One of them had a child who was apparently a very big fan of dinosaurs. He asked his terrified mother: "Mommy, can I get my own dinosaur?" and "Mommy, why does this person have a big poo-poo hole and why is he covered in boo-boos and milk?". His mother took out some sort of pistol and shot her son, continuing to stand still like a statue with the same horrified expression on her face. I did actually hear somebody call the cops, but by the time they were here I was already back at my house so they thought the mother was guilty. After that horrible catastrophe I finally arrived at my home and could finally take a break from all this madness. I took a quite painful shower, dressed up and placed the Utahraptor down on my bed. I looked out the window and everything seemed to be perfectly normal again, despite what happened on the streets. Then I went to sleep with the Utahraptor. I dreamed something very strange and unusual. I was a Troodon, dressed in a custom-made nazi uniform that seemed to fit on any Troodon's body like a glove. I looked around to see hundreds, if not thousands more of those nazi Troodons, heiling to the speech of the Führer Troodon. I don't remember what he said exactly, but I was definitly sure part of it had something to do with time travel. I woke up, feeling weirded out, only to notice that the Utahraptor had also awakened. She licked me, it felt like getting a slab of raw meat rubbed across your face. I kissed her on her left cheek, and got up. We somehow managed to propose to each other despite the fact that everyone could clearly see that the bride was a Female Utahraptor, but nobody seemed to really care. That moment was probably the greatest one in my entire life (other than the time I mated with the Utahraptor, damn nigga that cloaca be yummy). But just as I was walking back home with my beautiful companion, something unthinkable happened.
That dream with the nazi Troodons turned out to be a peek into the future of planet Earth, as a ton of nazi Troodons came through the portal and immediately started firing their weapons and destroying everything in their path that wasn't a Troodon. The Utahraptor was shot in both of her eyes, she was screaming in pain and flailing around, panicking, not being able to see a single thing. She eventually keeled over and died, leaving me to run away and hide from the Troodons in my secret underground base that I can't tell you the location of. I'm probably about to be killed this very moment, I hear them scratching the door behind me. This is where my story ends. OH SHIT THEYRE HERE N...