For: Sunfire
"I still don't see why you don't have cable."
"Because," Matthew said, trying not to sigh, "cable is expensive, and my Prime Minister only gives me a limited stipend –"
"So you're telling me your own leader's too much of a cheapskate to get you ESPN?"
"Alfred, I don't want to watch ESPN."
"But this isn't ESPN!" Alfred said, flopping back on the couch and spreading his arms out. "This is – this isn't just sports, this is strategy, this is tactics, this is culture – this is, this is art."
He paused, then, to turn his head towards Matthew.
"So you're telling me," Matthew said, after a pause, "that the Super Bowl is high art."
Alfred nodded earnestly, blonde hair flopping into his face as he did.
This time Matthew did sigh.
"Alfred," he said, sitting down on what space was left on the couch, "it's just one game."
"Just one game? Just one game? Matt, it's the Super Bowl! The S – U – P – E – R, SUPER, BOWL! And I'm missing it! And don't roll your eyes!"
"I wasn't," Matthew said (rolling his eyes as he said it). "But, come on, Alfred, it's not that big a deal, really."
"That's what you say – it's not as though you guys have ever been big into any sports."
"We have hockey."
"Yeah, but that's hockey. I mean, no offense to you or anything, Mattie, but this is football."
"Are you saying there's something wrong with hockey?"
"No – it's just that football is way manlier."
"Really."
"Well, yeah – I mean, all you guys are total peaceniks up north, and you're playing with sticks, too, so it's not as though you can tackle people to the ground or anything exciting."
Silence. Then –
"Mattie, what are you doing with the remote – oh, God, don't tell me you were joking and you're actually letting me watch it now –"
"I wasn't," Matthew said tersely. "But there is a hockey game going on, and I'm missing it."
"But, Matt, I wanna watch –"
"No."
Silence, then.
Alfred had never been good at reading the atmosphere, but it would have taken an obtuse angle to be oblivious to the aura radiating off Matthew's figure.
They watched the first few moments in silence.
Then –
"Woah!" Alfred said, springing up in the seat. "Did he just do that? Dude, is that even legal?"
"Yes, then no. Now be quiet, I'm trying to watch."
"Okay."
Several more moments of relative silence.
"What the hell was that?"
"Slashing."
"What?"
"Slashing. That's what they call it when you use a stick to hit another person."
"You mean they have a name for it when you fucking try to kill the other person?"
"No. Slashing's only when you try to kill the other person with your stick. There's also hooking, boarding, spearing –"
"Spearing? Oh my God, you people are sick – what is hockey, some sort of Canadian gladiator fight? This is the most violent, ruthless, absolutely sick thing I have seen all day –"
"Exactly," Matthew said. "That's what makes it so manly."