You're Back
Chapter One: I've Missed You
Summary: The first time that Spencer talks to Toby after he comes back to Rosewood, she tells him how she feels.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars.
As Spencer turned the corner at school, she saw Toby opening the door at the end of the hall for Jenna. Starting to walk towards him slowly, Spencer tries to catch his eye so that he will turn around and see her. When he does, his eyes go cold, and his face shows a look of indifference.
"Hey." Spencer said simply, trying to hold back a smile.
"Hey." Toby replied as he folded his arms across his chest.
"You're back. Well, of course you're back, you're here." Spencer stumbled over her words.
"Yeah we are." Toby bit back.
"I've been thinking about us a lot lately Toby." Spencer said looking down at the ground before looking back up into his bright blue eyes.
"It's a little late…" Toby started to say.
"I've missed you Toby. I know I made mistakes, but who hasn't?" Spencer asked, trying to refrain from crying.
"Spencer…" Toby said warningly.
"Look Toby, I know that you don't want to talk to me. You don't want to see me, or have anything to do with me; I know all that, and I know that you didn't want the truck anymore, but please, just hear me out?" Spencer asked.
"I can't do that Spencer." Toby said as his jaw tightened.
"Please? It doesn't have to be somewhere private. We can talk somewhere out in the open… please, just meet me this afternoon and let me try and explain everything." Spencer pleaded.
"Fine, I'll meet you at 4:00 o'clock sharp, at the park. And I don't want to see the girls anywhere around." Toby said with a sigh.
"That can be done. Thank you Toby." Spencer said with a small smile.
"You do know that even if I hear you out, it doesn't mean that I forgive you, or that I want to get back together, right?" Toby asked.
"I know. And I'm not expecting any of that to come out of this. I just want a chance to explain. If you are able to forgive me, then that's great; if you aren't then that's fine." Spencer said quickly.
"Toby?" Jenna asked as she opened the door behind Toby and walked into the hall. "Spencer? Is that you?" she asked as Spencer stepped to the side and out of the way.
"Yeah." Spencer muttered.
"I thought so." Jenna said with a smirk as she and Toby walked away.
All Spencer could do was just stand there. She couldn't even watch Toby walk away with Jenna. She had to do everything she could to not cry; and she knew that if she looked over her shoulder at Toby, that the tears would come. After a couple of minutes of just standing there, Spencer heard Aria walking up, talking to someone. As Spencer turned around to face her friend, she was surprised to see that Aria was holding hands with Holden, and that the two were kissing. Clearing her throat, Spencer caused the other two to break apart from their kiss.
"Hey Spencer." Holden said with smile and a nod.
"Spence, are you okay?" Aria asked, seeing the tears starting to form in her friend's eyes.
"Toby and I are meeting at the park at 4 today to talk." Spencer said slowly, as if she was still trying to process that what she had just said was the truth.
"That's great Spence!" Aria exclaimed.
"Not really. He agreed to meet me and to listen to what I had to say, but that is about it." Spencer said.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Aria asked.
"No, Toby doesn't want to see you or Hanna or Emily around the park. I need to do this alone; but you have to understand something Aria. I'm going to tell him everything. If there is even the slimmest chance that Toby and I can get back together, I need to be completely honest with him." Spencer explained, glancing at Holden momentarily before focusing her gaze back on Aria.
"Spencer, that's not a good idea." Aria warned.
"What, being completely truthfully with the guy I love isn't a good idea? Aria, did you ever tell Ezra? Did he ever ask about it? You of all people should know that no good can come out of a relationship that is filled with lies." Spencer chided.
"Spencer, you know that I never told Ezra about that. We- you, me, Hanna and Emily- we made a pact to not tell anyone. The one person that we told got kidnapped; if you tell Toby, more will happen to him than falling off scaffolding." Aria argued.
"I know that I was trying to keep Toby safe when I broke up with him, but after giving him the cold shoulder for a month, and then him getting hurt, and then leaving, it made me realize that I can't protect him forever. He's a big boy Aria, if he gets into more danger than he is already in, he can take care of him. I'm telling him. And nothing you or Hanna or Emily says will change my mind. And I really don't want you 3 to show up this afternoon." Spencer bit back. She hated it when people tried to talk her out of a decision that she had already made.
"Spencer…" Aria tried.
"No Aria, I'm telling him, and that's that." Spencer said before pushing passed Aria and Holden and walking away.
"What exactly didn't you tell Ezra?" Holden whispered in Aria's ear as she watched Spencer walk away.
"There are some things that you don't know about me and my friends Holden; things that can get you hurt. I don't agree with Spencer's decision to tell Toby, so I don't think that I should tell you." Aria said as she turned toward him and sighed.
"Aria, if something is bothering you and your friends, you can tell me." Holden said as he placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I don't think I can handle telling you and then you end up hurt in some way." Aria said while shaking her head.
"Okay, I'll drop it." Holden said as he took Aria's hand in his and led her towards their next class.
Throughout the day, Spencer was nervous. It had been a long time since she and Toby had actually talked, and she knew that even with her telling him that she didn't love him, his feelings for her couldn't have gone away that easily. Sure, he could hate her, but she really doubted that he didn't love her anymore. But what was making her the most nervous was the fact that Aria knew that Spencer was meeting with Toby at 4, and where they were meeting. And Spencer knew that if she was given the chance to make sure that Spencer would be okay, Aria would tell Hanna and Emily and that all three of them would want to be at the park.
Spencer couldn't wait until the final bell rang indicating that school was over. She just wanted to get out of this building and to the park. She needed to see Toby and she needed to talk to him; needed him to hear her out. As soon as the bell rang, Spencer sprung from her seat and made a beeline from her classroom to her locker. When Spencer turned the corner into the hallway that had her locker, she found all three of the girls standing there, waiting for her. With a sigh, Spencer made her way over and opened her locker, not even making eye contact with any of her friends.
"You can't tell Toby, Spencer." Emily said after a minute.
"I don't have a choice. I love him; and the only way that I will have a chance of getting him back, and being happy again, is to tell him everything. I've made up my mind. I'm telling him, and I don't want any of you to be there; and Toby doesn't want to see any of you there either, so just leave me alone." Spencer said as she slammed her locker shut and walked away from her friends.
"She's making a mistake." Hanna commented.
"We're going to be there for her; right?" Emily asked.
"No; we aren't. When Spencer and Toby are done talking, she will come find us and tell us what happened." Aria said with a small shake of her head before walking away to find Holden.
"She can't seriously think that just because she says that she doesn't want us there, that we won't go, does she?" Hanna asked as she turned to Emily.
"She does think that. And even if Aria doesn't want to go, we are going. We need to be there for Spencer." Emily said with a small sigh as she looked in the direction that Spencer had gone.
"Then let's go." Hanna said grabbing Emily's hand and pulling her in the direction of the parking lot.
Spencer hadn't bothered heading home before going to the park. It was already 3:30 by the time she had gotten out of school, and she knew that she would need to prepare herself for what she was about to tell Toby. She needed to just sit in her car for a little bit once she reached the park, and calm her body down. When 3:55 had hit, Spencer took a deep breath and got of her car. Locking the doors and looking around to make sure that her friends weren't lurking somewhere nearby, Spencer walked over to the benches and sat down, waiting for Toby to show up.
As Toby had walked up to the park, he had seen Emily's car parked across the street. He couldn't believe that Spencer would do that. She had promised that none of her friends would be around, and she had broken her promise. Taking a closer look at Emily's car, Toby noticed that Hanna was there as well. Abandoning his walk toward Spencer, Toby redirected himself towards his friend's car with a hard look on his face. Once he reached the car, he knocked on the window and motioned for Emily to roll it down or open the door.
"Toby, don't be mad." Emily started to say after she opened the door and got out.
"She said that none of you would be here. I don't like being ambushed Emily." Toby said as he slammed his fist against the side of the car.
"She doesn't know that we are here. She told us not to come, but we couldn't let her be here alone." Hanna said as she got out of the passenger side of the car.
"Oh really, then why the hell are you two hiding over here? If you didn't want Spencer to be here alone, why aren't you over there sitting with her?" Toby yelled.
"Toby? Emily? Hanna? What the hell is going on?" Spencer asked coming up behind Toby.
"You lied to me… again!" Toby exclaimed before walking away.
"Thanks a lot guys." Spencer said she glared at her friends then ran after Toby. "Toby wait!" She yelled after him.
"What lie are you going to feed me this time Spencer?" Toby spat out as he turned to glare at her with his fists clenched.
"I didn't want them here. I told them not to come. They didn't listen. Why the hell would I jeopardize talking to you like that? You said that you didn't want them to be around, and frankly, neither did I. I just wanted to talk to you... to explain everything." Spencer said and she was on the verge of tears again.
"Spence…" Toby said, his tone softening and taking a step towards her.
"Just forget it Toby. This is going to work." Spencer said turning away from him and started running towards her car.
"Spencer!" Toby yelled running after her.
Emily and Hanna couldn't bring themselves to leave the park. They had to be there for their friend, and while they might have already screwed up Spencer's second chance at happiness, they weren't going to leave until they knew that she was alright. As they leaned against Emily's car, they saw Spencer running towards her car with Toby not far behind her. When Hanna made to go towards Spencer, Emily put her hand on the blonde's arm to stop her.
"Don't Hanna. We will go to her once Toby leaves. Not before." Emily said quietly.
"Fine, I won't go make sure that she's okay." Hanna said with a huff.
Right as Spencer was about to reach her car, Toby caught up to her and grabbed her hand, causing her to turn towards him. Spencer just wanted to leave; to go home and wallow in self pity all over again; so she started to hit Toby's chest and he tried to hold her to him.
"Let me go Toby. You don't have enough faith in me or even trust me enough to tell my friends not to come. Just let me go." Spencer said as she hit him before just giving up and leaning into his chest.
"Spencer I'm sorry. I saw Emily and Hanna parked across the street, and I lost it. I'm so sorry." Toby muttered before he kissed the top of her head.
As Spencer leaned away from Toby's embraced, she was about to respond to what he said before she saw Jenna standing about 10 feet from them. How could Toby have gotten made at her for Emily and Hanna being there when he had brought along Jenna? Spencer was at the point of seething now. Pushing Toby away from her with all of her might, actually causing him to stumble back a couple of steps in surprise, Spencer glared at him.
"What the hell Toby? You get pissed off at me for my friends being here and low and behold, you brought your stepsister along with you. Way to hold us up to a double standard Toby." Spencer spat out before whirling around, unlocking her car door and getting inside before slamming the door shut. She couldn't believe that Toby would do that to her, but she was through trying to explain things to him.