Pairings/Warnings: 1x2x1 with brief mention of 3xH, implied 5xC, modern day AU, angst, some foul language – I rated this "T" as there are no sexually explicit situations or very graphic imagery and although there is some reference to a suicidal mindset I don't believe it to be very graphic or trigger-y as there is no self-injury (i.e. cutting.)

Author's Notes: I have been writing this since July so I'm happy to finally have it done! This is what happens when you get terribly distracted and real life bowls you over with unexpected news. ;-P I will be posting these chapters Monday and Wednesday because, as you'll see, they work well in pairs. (And maybe by the time I have finished posting this, I'll have one of my hundred other WIPs complete, ha!)

As always, thanks to the lovely Miss Murdered for the beta! *hugs*

182 Days Since Last Communication

At this point, the glamour of the King Gillette Mansion had worn off and the expansive rooms, grand archways, and sweeping panoramas of the Santa Monica Mountains were simply home. The mansion wasn't chosen for glamour anyway – it was chosen for its strategic location. And it could never truly be home, not until he was there.

Duo fell heavily into the ornately carved wooden seats at the utterly too long dining table and sighed as he pulled on his boots, wondering if it was even worth it. Normally he didn't let himself get this down, but today – today was a rough day. Today was their anniversary.

"Almost ready Duo?" Hilde called as she hopped down the stairs and Duo looked over at her, offering a strained smile. She had to know. He didn't know how she knew, but she must've. He never talked about it, really, not any more, not after so long. Not after so much doubt.

"Yeah." He stood but waited for her to snag a bottle of water from the kitchen. "You don't have to come. I'm gonna be out there a while today."

Hilde shrugged. "Trowa and Wufei are going out to the hospital in Santa Clarita and I've had enough of hospitals."

Duo nodded sympathetically, grabbing one of the rifles by the front door out of habit, not that he'd needed one in a damn long time. Even the scavenger animals tended to stay out of the cities now, everything available already picked clean. The most dangerous part of the trip would be the first four miles out to 101.

"And Cathy?"

"Guess it's laundry day."

Duo chuckled. It amused him that she tried so hard for normalcy, but he supposed that eventually they would have to find further and further malls to raid and the pile of dirty clothes would build to astronomical dimensions over the years until it blocked out the view of the mountain vista beyond the ranch... But then Duo sure as hell wasn't helping with that task.

They hopped into the Jeep in companionable silence as they made the trek from the ranch back to the city, the familiar desolation barely registering as he drove along a path he could follow blind.

Unlike in so many post-apocalypse movies, no one had tried to escape at the final moment, they were all too damn sick, and the highways were veritably empty, devoid of all vehicles, so he could drive as fast as he damn well pleased. Hilde always liked that – the fast driving, the empty road – and for a minute he appreciated that she'd come with him. For a minute he appreciated that she'd found him at all.

The stench wafting off the city was always disconcerting, although they'd become accustomed to it over time. At least as accustomed as you could be to approaching a practical graveyard of nearly four million rotting corpses. He remembered the vultures that descended in the weeks immediately after – some days so thick that the sky seemed black – but there was none of that now. Anything accessible had been consumed and the great majority of bodies were trapped behind locked doors that Duo didn't have the presence of mind to penetrate... but the smell did.

There was no fear of contagion, no concern – they'd survived this long, one way or another, and the dead weren't going to claim them. Besides, the apartment was safe. It even offered a relatively pleasant smell after Duo, in a fit of isolated panic less than a month after the incident, broke in to all neighboring apartments and dragged dead tenants from their rooms, dumping them unceremoniously out of windows for the birds to pick at.

They parked and hopped out, Duo appraising the building with a careful eye for anything amiss. He'd cleared bones from the sidewalk, trimmed back hedges, kept the place looking just as it had the last time he had seen it, as if such diligence could act like a beacon in the dark. He just caught the tail end of Hilde's eye roll – but then they'd had this conversation before. She didn't understand. She would never understand.

Together they ascended the stairs and Duo reached down under the mat to gather the key. The door was always locked, just as it should be, just as he would want it. The numbers 211 shined brightly down at him and he caressed them with his fingertips for a minute, remembering the first time he'd crossed this threshold. It was their two year anniversary then, too, and they blew up an air mattress and ate Chinese out of little cardboard boxes on the floor and got drunk on champagne and christened the place by fucking right there on the carpet. Duo remembered the rug burns on his back fondly.

Hilde flopped down on the couch next to him and they stared out at the balcony in silence – a silence that seemed especially oppressive today of all days when he was forced to remember all the laughter that had echoed off those walls. He used to try to fill that kind of silence with a litany of words or at least with a joke but not any more. There was so little to say now. And Hilde knew all there was to know about him. At least, she knew everything he was comfortable telling. Sure wasn't going to tell her about the lusty anniversary sex that took place right under her feet so many years ago.

"I'm pregnant."

Duo blinked and turned wide eyes to her, sure he'd heard wrong. Not even in his wildest dreams would he have ever imagined those words would leave her lips.

"Come again?"

She turned her eyes away, looked down at her hands, which she twisted nervously, fingers locking and unlocking.

"I'm pregnant, Duo."

"Well, fuck me." He stared forward again, unsure exactly what else he could say, feeling his body decompress into the couch. "Tro's?"

"Well, yeah," she snapped and he held up his hands in defense, looking back at her once more.

"Sorry, dumb question."

"Right," she shot back tersely, "Cathy wouldn't let me near Wufei and one of the first damn things you ever told me was you weren't gonna fuck me so who else's would it be?"

Duo felt suitably contrite and apologized. She sighed and curled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

"You scared?"

"Fuck yeah, I'm scared."

Duo scooted closer to her and threw an arm over her shoulders, dragging her towards him in a hug he hoped was at least somewhat comforting.

"Don't go thinkin' it was an accident," she muttered. "I want this baby."

Duo looked at her and she looked up at him, their faces close, and he could see she was being sincere.

"Well, you know, we'll get you what you need. Cathy was a vet, yeah? And we'll find some

books and shit about giving birth and it'll be good. You can do this."

She nodded, seeming to take a little bit of comfort from his words as she lay her head on her knees and stared at him, really seeming to study him, his eyes.

"Trowa's gonna die, you know?"

"Fuck no," Duo disagreed instantly, shaking his head, but she scowled. "We've got insulin, we'll just go to hospitals further out, we can get the gas, we –"

"Duo," she interrupted, "be realistic. We're lucky it works well enough without proper refrigeration. Eventually it'll expire. And maybe it'll still work for a few more years, but how many? One day, it won't work. And he'll die. Not today, not tomorrow, but one day. And I just thought, you know, maybe if we had a baby, he... fuck, I don't know, like he'd still be there or he'd be happy or something, you know?"

Her voice cracked and Duo pulled her in against his ribs and kissed her temple. She scrubbed at her eyes roughly. He wanted to tell her that when Heero returned they'd have power again, that he'd set them up solar panels and wind turbines and get them hooked up to the ranch and they could have refrigeration again. They could salvage some insulin then. But he knew it was pointless – she would only get more upset.

"You're lucky you can pretend he's still alive. You don't have to watch him die."

Duo bit his tongue and fought not to push her away as anger rose swiftly from his gut at her callous words. Heero wasn't fucking dead.

Hilde didn't apologize but she never apologized when it came to Heero and Duo's faith in his return. She made it clear what her opinion was right from the start but she didn't know him and she didn't understand. If Heero said he'd find him then he would. That's all there was to it.

She was upset, Duo reminded himself. She was pregnant. She was scared. He had his share of doubt and fear and heartache and he had to remain sympathetic.

"Did you tell him yet?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes again. He could hear her breath hitching.

"He was excited," she murmured. "Said he'd bring me back some prenatal vitamins."

There was a weird pause and then they both laughed. Of all things to worry about. But her laughter almost immediately turned to sobs and that set off a state of panic in Duo.

"Hey – hey now! That's good! We can get you all kinds of pregnancy stuff, yeah?" Duo offered quickly, hoping to find some way to calm her down. "We can go raid the baby shit at Target and get everything you want! And get you some of those books about babies or whatever and –"

"But what if the baby dies too?" she asked through the tears.

"No, no, no that won't happen," Duo assured her as she tried valiantly to get her emotions under control. "You and Tro' were both immune, right? The baby will have that immunity, too."

"You think?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I just..." She held her breath a moment before letting it out shakily, dragging in on a sob and trying to let it go. "I just wish my mom were here. Or something. I don't know."

"Well you got Tro' an' me an' Cathy of course, you know she's gonna be stoked, and even Wufei – I'm sure he'll protect that baby like it was his own flesh and blood." She was able to chuckle a little then. He didn't add what he was thinking, which is that when Heero got here he'd watch over it too because Heero was like that – always cared so damn much about innocent things.

Fuck but he wished he were here already. He missed him. It wasn't so bad any more, really, not like at the beginning when he was so painfully, utterly, heartbreakingly alone. Not like when he was just really fucking pissed. Not like when his emotions went from agonizing to cold impassivity, where he went through the motions of every day simply because he had to, simply because he didn't know what else to do. No, at this point, they had morphed into a dull ache that was constantly there but with which he could live comfortably, like a weight on his heart he carried with him always.

Exhausted from crying and the early stages of pregnancy, Hilde eventually fell asleep, curled up against the armrest. Duo stood, careful not to wake her, and walked into the bedroom, laying down on their bed. The sheets had long since lost the smell of him but Duo didn't care, he could imagine it as he tucked Heero's pillow up under his head. It was comforting, anyway, as he took out a pen and the little notebook from the bedside table. It had been a while since he'd had anything to say, but Hilde's pregnancy was definitely noteworthy.

He started his message the way he always did.

It's been 182 days Heero. I miss you.